I apologize for the lack of blogging in the past 3 months. I was busy with the job hunting. In July, things began to look up for me. I landed about three interviews in one week for positions such as residential counselor, teacher's aide, and office assistant. I had an interview at American School for the Deaf in West Hartford, CT for residential counselor position for PACES program (will explain further about PACES later) for the summer. I still remember the day of the interview because I was so nervous and excited. I had hopes for this job as it is in deaf culture which mean efficient communication for me as well a chance to develop social life with people my age that knew sign language.
I showed up to ASD campus on the day of the interview, which was a beautiful campus despite the construction mess, and went to the location of the interview. I was interviewed by three staff which two were Crisis Invention Specialist (CIS) for PACES program and the third person was a counselor for the PACES students. I felt that I was confident in the interview and left there with even higher hopes of getting an offer.
Sure enough, the day after the interview I received an e-mail with a job offer for the summer term. I was thrilled. I also started the job the following Monday (I got the offer on Thursday or Friday) so it was in a short period of time.
Now this is the irony part, I was excited about the job to have something to do beside sitting around in my apartment job hunting - I still wasn't entirely excited because I didn't see myself in that position in the long run. In the first two weeks of the job, I still had that opinion.
After two weeks passed by, I started looking at the positive aspects of working at ASD. I really enjoy working with staff who knew sign language, it was really simple to communicate to anyone on campus. The students are deaf, which I have always carried the passion to help kids with disabilities so after getting to know them - I gained more passion to help these kids. We obviously have the common understanding of the deafness so I feel that helps some of them to have someone like me there. Most of the residential counselors are hearing people who knows sign language. They are wonderful people who also help out the kids. Growing up, I always had hearing people around me but never a deaf person. I always wanted a deaf role model to see that I can succeed in the future. That's what I want to be for those kids at ASD.
It is rewarding to be in this job at ASD working with the kids in PACES program. It can be challenging because PACES program is specifically for kids with emotional or behavior issues. They aren't blended in with other deaf kids who are in a traditional education setting because of their special needs that needs to be focused on. The PACES students are in their own classroom instead of the grade level - they are separated by the age ranges which is under 13 and 13-21 years old. I am working with the 13-21 years old range students. I am assigned to three female students which I am responsible to know their whereabouts, help them to control issues such as anger, etc. One thing I enjoy about the job is that I have to expect the unknown every day. I never know what will happen. That is one thing keeping the job interesting. If you want further information about PACES program - it is available on the American School for the Deaf website: http://www.asd-1817.org/page.cfm?p=351
And here I am, a week away from the end of the summer job. That idea makes me very devastated because I don't want to leave the wonderful friends I made with the staff and especially the students. I grew to love American School for the Deaf. It also have been a long time since I was happy to be in the deaf world as you all have read my past blogs about my deaf identity issues which deterred me from being involved in the deaf world. I never imagined that being back in the deaf world at ASD will make me as happy I feel right now. I feel like I belong again. I have already asked Human Resources at ASD to consider me for a permanent job in the same position for the school year so wish me luck!
21.5.12
The worst interview
On May 1st of this year, I had an interview for volunteering with the judicial system in the State of Connecticut. I have been actively seeking for a full time job in New London County area, but haven't been receiving any any job offers yet. I thought it would be good idea to volunteer for few reasons such as having something to do in my free time, network, and meet new people.
I sent an application to New London judicial system for volunteering opportunity. I got a voice mail on my cell phone from the volunteer coordinator wanting to meet for an interview, which I replied back by e-mail to discuss appointment times. We agreed on May 1st at 10am. Her office was located in the Probation building so it was weird for me to be back in the Probation department after my internship with Monroe County Probation in NY. I was hoping for a volunteering position with the Probation department because I am already familiar with Probation. I also enjoyed my internship with Monroe County Probation so much. I even applied to be a Probation Officer shortly after I moved to CT (of course, no callbacks).
On the morning of the interview, I just had a bad feeling in my guts about the interview. I didn't even want to go in the first place. I usually am very eager in going to interviews in hopes of landing a job offer. I arrived at Probation building in New London, CT. I went to the check-in desk and they had me to enter the restricted area to stand & wait for the volunteer coordinator whom I was meeting with (I really didn't mind sitting in the waiting room with other probationers).
Once the volunteer coordinator came down to grab me, we walked upstairs to her office. I was using the paper & pen method for communication (that's what I have been using on all interviews) so I had a paper with written message already ready to show her. I showed her the paper which started with the introduction of my name, told her that I am deaf and how I would like for us to write things down explaining that I WILL get overwhelmed from lip reading with all the new information. The lady looked at me with a big hesitance like it was such a hard task to write back and forth. She mentioned an interpreter. I said that it will take a while for one to show up at last minute notice (I don't think it even was possible to get one that last minute anyways which we would have to reschedule the interview which I did not want) and how I have gone without interpreters a few time at my internship with Monroe County Probation in NY.
She refused to write back to me and began to talk to me. I did my best to lip read her. She said that she was suppose to read questions off this paper that she had in her hands to me for me to answer but instead she gave me the paper itself to fill it out. It was two pages long with the common interview-type questions. I was so defeated in my self-esteem from the way she was treating me so I quickly scribbled the answers while thinking how bad I wanted to be out of there. I didn't give the the best answers because I didn't care anymore at that point. Meanwhile, she was on the phone clearly talking about me. I had no idea who she was speaking with. How did I know she was talking about me? I picked up the vibe from her facial expression which she often looked back and forth from me and looking down at her desk (nothing was there). I finished answering the questions and handed over the papers to her. She still spoke on the phone leaving me hanging there for approximately 5 minutes.
Eventually she got off the phone. She started to talk (again, refusing to write) to me about volunteering opportunities, explaining that there was only one left with the courts. She described the position which I didn't get a word of (like I clearly explained to her that I will be overwhelmed to lip read), I only caught the part that she said the position had included a fast paced and tense environment. I had to reply with only knowledge of that last piece of information. How do you do that? I was feeling so stressed. I had asked her a numerous time to repeat what she said by saying "What?". I kept writing all of my replies via paper. She would read it then talk back to me verbally.
I didn't get a word of everything she said about the position in the courts, only that it was fast paced and tense. She had concerns with my deafness that it wouldn't work. Pretty much to me she was literally saying that it wasn't possible for ME because I am deaf. She ended the interview saying that she will call the courts (I THINK?) to talk to them and see what the resolution can be. I kept trying to sell myself to her saying it IS possible for me. I explained how I have experienced the environment of being in courts from being a criminal justice major at RIT. I often attended trials at court house for court observations for SEVERAL classes. I repeated many times that I was able to do it but she kept that facial expression of uncertainty and hesitance. It just was too good to her to believe my own words that I would be able to do it.
I left the building feeling so angry with how she disrespected me by not writing back and forth as I asked. It was very stressful for me to try to grasp her words which I didn't at all. I was so disappointed because I knew leaving there that I would not hear back from them. This was perfect way for me to start networking with the judicial system as I had plans to go to law school in 2013. I even explained that to her about my plans to attend law school. I told her I wanted this.
After the interview, I had plans to go down to Mystic Aquarium to watch the first swim of a baby penguin that I spent the last 3 months watching it grow via web cam on their website. I had plenty time to get there to witness the first swim, but of course due to the nature of the interview - I was too depressed that I went straight home. I spend the rest of the morning feeling really down, tweeting "had the worst interview today. it's definitely the kind day i wish i wasn't deaf", and cried.
Nobody had the right to make me feel like it wasn't possible for me to do a position because of my deafness. It is irritating when people at job interviews ask me questions regarding my deafness because they AREN'T suppose to focus on my disability. They are suppose to focus on my ability to do the job. I am not going to let this incident to happen again anywhere else. It was first (and hopefully the only) bad interview I experienced in my life so it taught me what to do and how to handle that situation for further interviews. I was discriminated because she clearly felt that it wouldn't work for me to be in this position with the courts because of my deafness. The irony of this situation was that the volunteer coordinator lady who interviewed me was a different race from Caucasian which placed her in the minority group with me. I expected better from her, since she was in a minority group which I am sure she experienced discrimination or at least something regarding her race. A member of minority group had discriminated someone else in the minority group.
When I look for jobs or volunteering experiences, I always look for these kind places where there IS diversity. New London County Judicial system (and every court in America) definitely have diversity. My expectations of this place have been defeated. I still hope to get a job within the judicial system in the State of Connecticut so hopefully the RIGHT place will help me to achieve my dreams.
I sent an application to New London judicial system for volunteering opportunity. I got a voice mail on my cell phone from the volunteer coordinator wanting to meet for an interview, which I replied back by e-mail to discuss appointment times. We agreed on May 1st at 10am. Her office was located in the Probation building so it was weird for me to be back in the Probation department after my internship with Monroe County Probation in NY. I was hoping for a volunteering position with the Probation department because I am already familiar with Probation. I also enjoyed my internship with Monroe County Probation so much. I even applied to be a Probation Officer shortly after I moved to CT (of course, no callbacks).
On the morning of the interview, I just had a bad feeling in my guts about the interview. I didn't even want to go in the first place. I usually am very eager in going to interviews in hopes of landing a job offer. I arrived at Probation building in New London, CT. I went to the check-in desk and they had me to enter the restricted area to stand & wait for the volunteer coordinator whom I was meeting with (I really didn't mind sitting in the waiting room with other probationers).
Once the volunteer coordinator came down to grab me, we walked upstairs to her office. I was using the paper & pen method for communication (that's what I have been using on all interviews) so I had a paper with written message already ready to show her. I showed her the paper which started with the introduction of my name, told her that I am deaf and how I would like for us to write things down explaining that I WILL get overwhelmed from lip reading with all the new information. The lady looked at me with a big hesitance like it was such a hard task to write back and forth. She mentioned an interpreter. I said that it will take a while for one to show up at last minute notice (I don't think it even was possible to get one that last minute anyways which we would have to reschedule the interview which I did not want) and how I have gone without interpreters a few time at my internship with Monroe County Probation in NY.
She refused to write back to me and began to talk to me. I did my best to lip read her. She said that she was suppose to read questions off this paper that she had in her hands to me for me to answer but instead she gave me the paper itself to fill it out. It was two pages long with the common interview-type questions. I was so defeated in my self-esteem from the way she was treating me so I quickly scribbled the answers while thinking how bad I wanted to be out of there. I didn't give the the best answers because I didn't care anymore at that point. Meanwhile, she was on the phone clearly talking about me. I had no idea who she was speaking with. How did I know she was talking about me? I picked up the vibe from her facial expression which she often looked back and forth from me and looking down at her desk (nothing was there). I finished answering the questions and handed over the papers to her. She still spoke on the phone leaving me hanging there for approximately 5 minutes.
Eventually she got off the phone. She started to talk (again, refusing to write) to me about volunteering opportunities, explaining that there was only one left with the courts. She described the position which I didn't get a word of (like I clearly explained to her that I will be overwhelmed to lip read), I only caught the part that she said the position had included a fast paced and tense environment. I had to reply with only knowledge of that last piece of information. How do you do that? I was feeling so stressed. I had asked her a numerous time to repeat what she said by saying "What?". I kept writing all of my replies via paper. She would read it then talk back to me verbally.
I didn't get a word of everything she said about the position in the courts, only that it was fast paced and tense. She had concerns with my deafness that it wouldn't work. Pretty much to me she was literally saying that it wasn't possible for ME because I am deaf. She ended the interview saying that she will call the courts (I THINK?) to talk to them and see what the resolution can be. I kept trying to sell myself to her saying it IS possible for me. I explained how I have experienced the environment of being in courts from being a criminal justice major at RIT. I often attended trials at court house for court observations for SEVERAL classes. I repeated many times that I was able to do it but she kept that facial expression of uncertainty and hesitance. It just was too good to her to believe my own words that I would be able to do it.
I left the building feeling so angry with how she disrespected me by not writing back and forth as I asked. It was very stressful for me to try to grasp her words which I didn't at all. I was so disappointed because I knew leaving there that I would not hear back from them. This was perfect way for me to start networking with the judicial system as I had plans to go to law school in 2013. I even explained that to her about my plans to attend law school. I told her I wanted this.
After the interview, I had plans to go down to Mystic Aquarium to watch the first swim of a baby penguin that I spent the last 3 months watching it grow via web cam on their website. I had plenty time to get there to witness the first swim, but of course due to the nature of the interview - I was too depressed that I went straight home. I spend the rest of the morning feeling really down, tweeting "had the worst interview today. it's definitely the kind day i wish i wasn't deaf", and cried.
Nobody had the right to make me feel like it wasn't possible for me to do a position because of my deafness. It is irritating when people at job interviews ask me questions regarding my deafness because they AREN'T suppose to focus on my disability. They are suppose to focus on my ability to do the job. I am not going to let this incident to happen again anywhere else. It was first (and hopefully the only) bad interview I experienced in my life so it taught me what to do and how to handle that situation for further interviews. I was discriminated because she clearly felt that it wouldn't work for me to be in this position with the courts because of my deafness. The irony of this situation was that the volunteer coordinator lady who interviewed me was a different race from Caucasian which placed her in the minority group with me. I expected better from her, since she was in a minority group which I am sure she experienced discrimination or at least something regarding her race. A member of minority group had discriminated someone else in the minority group.
When I look for jobs or volunteering experiences, I always look for these kind places where there IS diversity. New London County Judicial system (and every court in America) definitely have diversity. My expectations of this place have been defeated. I still hope to get a job within the judicial system in the State of Connecticut so hopefully the RIGHT place will help me to achieve my dreams.
8.5.12
Parenting a deaf child
My boyfriend and I went shopping at the mall about 2 months ago where I ran into a new parent of a deaf child. She was employed at Gap store as she cashed out my purchase. She had noticed my boyfriend and I signing to each other so she asked me (via my boyfriend) how long I have known sign language. I found the question awkward but I replied that I am deaf so I have known it for a long time. She then explained that she has a hearing impaired son who is 9 months (at the time of the encounter). The cashier had asked us a lot questions regarding deafness, schools, sign language, etc. which I eventually picked up the vibe that she is VERY nervous about being a new parent of a deaf child.
It took me back to the memory that I had of asking my parents about their reaction to me being deaf. As a child or teen, I asked my parents how they felt when they found out that I was deaf. They had replied that they had mixed emotions such as shock, scared, even devastated. I was surprised by that answer, I didn't understand at the time why it sounded like a tragedy to have a deaf child. To me, that's like parents being devastated that the blonde hair child they have always wanted turned out to be a brown hair child. Being deaf was already the norm for me, I didn't see anything different about it.
Meeting the new parent of a deaf child immediately gave me that flashback. I had finally understood now. I saw the fear, worry, and concern in her eyes as she was talking about her son. She had no idea what to do with him regarding school, hearing aids, cochlear implants, etc. It was difficult maintaining a straight face when I wanted to cry with her. I realized that she had a huge burden on her shoulder to decide the identity of her deaf child for next 18 years (or teen years).
I have blogged about many identities that exist in the deaf world. How do new parents know what their deaf child want their identity to be? My parents didn't know what I would want to be at the age of 18 when I was a baby, but they had to make that decision of what I should have in life. It is never too late to change identity as I have seen many students at RIT that changed their identities once they got to college. Some deaf people have grew up with major confusion through out their lives as of what their identities are. I wasn't aware of identity until college, so through out my life I didn't stress about what identity I should be until I came to RIT. I had a long time of conflicting feelings about my identity during my college years, even considered cochlear implants for a long time. In my last year of college, I have accepted the identity that I originally grew up with with much more comfortableness of the deafness. I cannot imagine being in the shoes of a new parent to decide what identity to give their deaf child.
Growing up deaf is already the norm for me, but it never had occur to me about the burdens of some decisions in lives. If I give birth to a deaf child, obviously I will be prepared as I am deaf, right? Nope. I may like the identity that I have, but it doesn't mean if I give that identity to my deaf child that they will like it too. A deaf parent also have that burden of deciding what identity. In a way, I would be more prepared to raise a deaf child than hearing parents as I know what life is like as a deaf person. I can help them with exploring their identity through out their life, exposing them to deaf world, and being able to understand them on the same level when hearing parents may have never been aware of deaf world in the first place. My parents never been exposed to deaf world or deaf people before I was born. I am already exposed to deaf world so I know what it is like for my deaf child but my parents and I would have one thing in common, which is deciding that identity.
It can be a HUGE and very DIFFICULT process in making the decision. I am very proud of my parents for what they have decided for me before I had a voice. I am proud of who I am. I love me for who I am. I wouldn't be the person I am today without my parents (as well many other people in my life). Thank you, Mom & Dad.
It took me back to the memory that I had of asking my parents about their reaction to me being deaf. As a child or teen, I asked my parents how they felt when they found out that I was deaf. They had replied that they had mixed emotions such as shock, scared, even devastated. I was surprised by that answer, I didn't understand at the time why it sounded like a tragedy to have a deaf child. To me, that's like parents being devastated that the blonde hair child they have always wanted turned out to be a brown hair child. Being deaf was already the norm for me, I didn't see anything different about it.
Meeting the new parent of a deaf child immediately gave me that flashback. I had finally understood now. I saw the fear, worry, and concern in her eyes as she was talking about her son. She had no idea what to do with him regarding school, hearing aids, cochlear implants, etc. It was difficult maintaining a straight face when I wanted to cry with her. I realized that she had a huge burden on her shoulder to decide the identity of her deaf child for next 18 years (or teen years).
I have blogged about many identities that exist in the deaf world. How do new parents know what their deaf child want their identity to be? My parents didn't know what I would want to be at the age of 18 when I was a baby, but they had to make that decision of what I should have in life. It is never too late to change identity as I have seen many students at RIT that changed their identities once they got to college. Some deaf people have grew up with major confusion through out their lives as of what their identities are. I wasn't aware of identity until college, so through out my life I didn't stress about what identity I should be until I came to RIT. I had a long time of conflicting feelings about my identity during my college years, even considered cochlear implants for a long time. In my last year of college, I have accepted the identity that I originally grew up with with much more comfortableness of the deafness. I cannot imagine being in the shoes of a new parent to decide what identity to give their deaf child.
Growing up deaf is already the norm for me, but it never had occur to me about the burdens of some decisions in lives. If I give birth to a deaf child, obviously I will be prepared as I am deaf, right? Nope. I may like the identity that I have, but it doesn't mean if I give that identity to my deaf child that they will like it too. A deaf parent also have that burden of deciding what identity. In a way, I would be more prepared to raise a deaf child than hearing parents as I know what life is like as a deaf person. I can help them with exploring their identity through out their life, exposing them to deaf world, and being able to understand them on the same level when hearing parents may have never been aware of deaf world in the first place. My parents never been exposed to deaf world or deaf people before I was born. I am already exposed to deaf world so I know what it is like for my deaf child but my parents and I would have one thing in common, which is deciding that identity.
It can be a HUGE and very DIFFICULT process in making the decision. I am very proud of my parents for what they have decided for me before I had a voice. I am proud of who I am. I love me for who I am. I wouldn't be the person I am today without my parents (as well many other people in my life). Thank you, Mom & Dad.
3.4.12
Advantage of Using Relay on April's Fool Day
A transcript of my April's Fool prank on my mom (and unexpectedly, my dad too). The Sprint Relay operator is a male so my parents were thinking it was a male calling them for whatever reason when in reality I was the one typing every thing for the operator to say to them (Operator's role was to interpret).
Relay terms:
Ga - Go Ahead
SK - Hang up
----
(Me): Please do not use the Sprint Relay introduction.
(Operator): SPRINT IP XXXXM DIALING XXX-XXX-XXXX RINGING 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... 4 ... 5 ...
(F) Hello? ga
(Operator): hold a moment please.
(F) no i won't hold a moment, who's this?
(Operator): hold a moment.
(F) no i won't hold a moment, it's already past my bedtime!
***The operator had to tell my mom to hold on as I typed which took a minute***
(Me): Hello, is this (Mother's name)? (F interrupting): you tell me who this is! (Me continuing): This is Officer (Fake name) with Connecticut State Trooper. I just have pulled over your daughter, and she doesn't have the car registration with her. She is saying that your husband may have the paperwork of the car registration, ma'am ga
(F): okay just a minute please ...
***My mom passed the phone over to my dad, then she went back in the living room where she was chatting with my younger brother. She was freaking out about her attitude (the call occurred late at night) which she thought for sure that the "Officer" would give me a speeding ticket.***
(M) hello? ga
(Me): Hello is this (Father's name)? I am Officer (Fake name) with CT State Trooper. I just pulled over your daughter for speeding and she doesn't have the registration on her which I believe you may have the vehicle registration paperwork? ga
(M): yes .. ga
(Me): April's fool, it's Kelly using Sprint Relay ga
(M): (laughing) thats a good one kel ga
(Me): Thought so, good night love you both bye ga to sk
(M): love you goodbye (PERSON HUNG UP)
(Operator): i will need to take a 5 minutes break to stop laughing (smile) SK SK
----
Hope your April's Fool Day was funny too!
Relay terms:
Ga - Go Ahead
SK - Hang up
----
(Me): Please do not use the Sprint Relay introduction.
(Operator): SPRINT IP XXXXM DIALING XXX-XXX-XXXX RINGING 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... 4 ... 5 ...
(F) Hello? ga
(Operator): hold a moment please.
(F) no i won't hold a moment, who's this?
(Operator): hold a moment.
(F) no i won't hold a moment, it's already past my bedtime!
***The operator had to tell my mom to hold on as I typed which took a minute***
(Me): Hello, is this (Mother's name)? (F interrupting): you tell me who this is! (Me continuing): This is Officer (Fake name) with Connecticut State Trooper. I just have pulled over your daughter, and she doesn't have the car registration with her. She is saying that your husband may have the paperwork of the car registration, ma'am ga
(F): okay just a minute please ...
***My mom passed the phone over to my dad, then she went back in the living room where she was chatting with my younger brother. She was freaking out about her attitude (the call occurred late at night) which she thought for sure that the "Officer" would give me a speeding ticket.***
(M) hello? ga
(Me): Hello is this (Father's name)? I am Officer (Fake name) with CT State Trooper. I just pulled over your daughter for speeding and she doesn't have the registration on her which I believe you may have the vehicle registration paperwork? ga
(M): yes .. ga
(Me): April's fool, it's Kelly using Sprint Relay ga
(M): (laughing) thats a good one kel ga
(Me): Thought so, good night love you both bye ga to sk
(M): love you goodbye (PERSON HUNG UP)
(Operator): i will need to take a 5 minutes break to stop laughing (smile) SK SK
----
Hope your April's Fool Day was funny too!
24.2.12
Sophomore '08
I promised a blog about my sophomore year of college. To refresh your memory:
http://behinddeafeyes.blogspot.com/2010/07/fresh-meat-07.html
My first year at RIT was like taking a roller coaster ride. I was trying to find myself. Last paragraph in the blog described my fears with the deaf community which I disconnected myself from that world in the last quarter (Spring). I left my first year at RIT for summer in Upstate NY back to hearing world.
That summer of 2008 was one of the best summers I had. I finally had a group of hearing friends which I hung out with almost the entire summer. I had a summer boyfriend. I worked in a classroom with deaf students. I got my first car. Reunited with my family.
It was interesting how that job in the deaf classroom was unexpected. Seeing those younger deaf students often gave me flashbacks to my childhood days. I recalled that I didn't know how different I was until I was 11 years old. I was the happiest girl before that, and I changed when I realized what my life was about to be like. Now, I'm having difficulty with choosing where to belong in Rochester. Those kids made me think a lot about where to put my foot down. What identity do I want?
Returning to college for round two was even more difficult than first year. I isolated myself a lot in fall quarter and felt so unhappy. I drove home every weekend to be with my family. I felt the happiest at home. I felt that I was a commuter student, going up to Rochester on Mondays, going to classes during the week then home on Thursdays. Looking back at this, I have definitely missed out a lot on college life. I do not have regrets because that's what truly made me happy - to be at home. When I returned to RIT after Thanksgiving break, I started the first week of my 2nd quarter (Winter). I was unfocused and unmotivated to continue at RIT. I made the decision to take a leave of absence.
I returned home to Upstate NY which during that time, I was figuring out myself again. I transferred to Corning Community College in Corning, NY to get an associate degree in liberal arts. Only I never showed up to register for courses. It was too late once the first day of second semester at Corning came and went. I was unsure of what I wanted in my life, which was one of the reasons for the leave of absence. I needed that time to be healthy, find myself, figure out what I want, explore my options, and be happy again.
Eventually, I made the decision to return to RIT for Spring quarter. I don't remember why I decided to go back. I just remember being bored at home with no job or school to go to every day. When I went back to RIT, I moved in a dorm room which I had to myself so I isolated myself all hours except when I had to go to classes. I still disconnected myself from the deaf world. I still went home to Upstate NY every weekend.
In fact, that Spring quarter I applied to another university. I got accepted to transfer to Mansfield University in Mansfield, PA. I applied to MU for two reasons. It was close to home. I need reassurance that I could get into another college than RIT. I felt like I was put on one-way track to apply to RIT & only got in there because I was deaf. MU accepting me made me excited. I considered all options whether I should go through with it. The term would start in Fall 2009. I would like to leave you all on a cliffhanger to what college I choose but I have already blogged about Rochester & graduation from RIT. I did indeed choose to remain at RIT. The biggest consideration in my decision making was the deaf community and my love for the Criminal Justice department at RIT. The faculty in CJ department was the most excellent professors I could ever come across. I loved them too much to leave. I knew I wouldn't get any better support (interpreter, notetaker, etc.) that I had at RIT anywhere else as well.
I had a non existing college life that year. I do not have regrets. It was the roughest year I had in college and it was the best for me to be around family who supported me through everything. It was a tough decision to take the leave of absence, but I knew that I needed that time to myself. It wasn't doing any good for me to remain in Rochester being so unhappy.
Summer 2009/Junior year coming to you soon!
http://behinddeafeyes.blogspot.com/2010/07/fresh-meat-07.html
My first year at RIT was like taking a roller coaster ride. I was trying to find myself. Last paragraph in the blog described my fears with the deaf community which I disconnected myself from that world in the last quarter (Spring). I left my first year at RIT for summer in Upstate NY back to hearing world.
That summer of 2008 was one of the best summers I had. I finally had a group of hearing friends which I hung out with almost the entire summer. I had a summer boyfriend. I worked in a classroom with deaf students. I got my first car. Reunited with my family.
It was interesting how that job in the deaf classroom was unexpected. Seeing those younger deaf students often gave me flashbacks to my childhood days. I recalled that I didn't know how different I was until I was 11 years old. I was the happiest girl before that, and I changed when I realized what my life was about to be like. Now, I'm having difficulty with choosing where to belong in Rochester. Those kids made me think a lot about where to put my foot down. What identity do I want?
Returning to college for round two was even more difficult than first year. I isolated myself a lot in fall quarter and felt so unhappy. I drove home every weekend to be with my family. I felt the happiest at home. I felt that I was a commuter student, going up to Rochester on Mondays, going to classes during the week then home on Thursdays. Looking back at this, I have definitely missed out a lot on college life. I do not have regrets because that's what truly made me happy - to be at home. When I returned to RIT after Thanksgiving break, I started the first week of my 2nd quarter (Winter). I was unfocused and unmotivated to continue at RIT. I made the decision to take a leave of absence.
I returned home to Upstate NY which during that time, I was figuring out myself again. I transferred to Corning Community College in Corning, NY to get an associate degree in liberal arts. Only I never showed up to register for courses. It was too late once the first day of second semester at Corning came and went. I was unsure of what I wanted in my life, which was one of the reasons for the leave of absence. I needed that time to be healthy, find myself, figure out what I want, explore my options, and be happy again.
Eventually, I made the decision to return to RIT for Spring quarter. I don't remember why I decided to go back. I just remember being bored at home with no job or school to go to every day. When I went back to RIT, I moved in a dorm room which I had to myself so I isolated myself all hours except when I had to go to classes. I still disconnected myself from the deaf world. I still went home to Upstate NY every weekend.
In fact, that Spring quarter I applied to another university. I got accepted to transfer to Mansfield University in Mansfield, PA. I applied to MU for two reasons. It was close to home. I need reassurance that I could get into another college than RIT. I felt like I was put on one-way track to apply to RIT & only got in there because I was deaf. MU accepting me made me excited. I considered all options whether I should go through with it. The term would start in Fall 2009. I would like to leave you all on a cliffhanger to what college I choose but I have already blogged about Rochester & graduation from RIT. I did indeed choose to remain at RIT. The biggest consideration in my decision making was the deaf community and my love for the Criminal Justice department at RIT. The faculty in CJ department was the most excellent professors I could ever come across. I loved them too much to leave. I knew I wouldn't get any better support (interpreter, notetaker, etc.) that I had at RIT anywhere else as well.
I had a non existing college life that year. I do not have regrets. It was the roughest year I had in college and it was the best for me to be around family who supported me through everything. It was a tough decision to take the leave of absence, but I knew that I needed that time to myself. It wasn't doing any good for me to remain in Rochester being so unhappy.
Summer 2009/Junior year coming to you soon!
23.2.12
"Can you lip read?"
Some people have been questioning about approaches with meeting deaf people. While it is a difficult challenge for me to open up to new hearing people, I do my best to make them comfortable around me. I like meeting new people, as well teach people who are not familiar about the deaf culture. I am residing in Connecticut in an area with no deaf community like the one I grew to love in Rochester. I am faced with the challenges of meeting new people again. It’s a weird feeling because I didn’t have to worry about that for the last four years. In those four years, it wasn’t difficult to make friends who had same communication methods and similar understanding of living as a deaf individual.
In Connecticut, I am struggling to find a deaf community around here or at least some deaf friends. I am also struggling in befriending with new hearing people. I'm not facing the same challenges of a hearing person meeting people in the new location. It may take not long for them to make new friends. In meeting new people, I have to say that I am the most motivated to develop friendships with people express interest in communicating with me via sign language.
However, I am not saying that people are required to learn sign language to be friends with deaf people. There is the old traditional method of paper and pen. If you are high tech, you can type out on notepads or blank text on your mobile screen & show it to a deaf person. You also can sometime be lucky if the deaf person has a hearing person with them that would be able to interpret (i.e. my boyfriend can interpret for me).
A common question that I get all the time is "Can you lip read?" *WARNING* Some deaf people can lip read, not all of them through! I am one of those who can lip read but it takes a while for me to understand EVERYONE. Do not depend on deaf person to lip read - they still will be missing out on some words.
I do highly recommend that if you want to maintain an effective friendship with a deaf individual to learn sign language. There is a huge difference in a friendship depending on the communication methods. Conversations only through paper/pen compared to conversations via sign language. In paper/pen method, details are often left out. Nobody has fun to continue writing every word of a conversation with hand cramps. Communicating via sign language will allow the deaf individual to express as much they like to. My preferred communication method is using sign language to develop friendships.
I personally have felt frustration when I meet new people who don’t put in the efforts to somehow communicate with me. When I get very frustrated, I most often give up on those who do not put in the same efforts as I am in communicating. It gives me the feeling that they don’t care enough. But, I can tell you that it will make a deaf person’s day when they go out in the public to bump into people who express interest in deaf culture or show off some sign language skills. It grabs my attention towards them, and I feel motivated to communicate with them. An example of an incident would include the gathering I recently went to play the game of Apples-to-Apples where I was the only deaf person there. Some people brought up questions regarding my deafness. I immediately opened up to them and gave them as much details I could via interpreter (my boyfriend). I felt really excited that they showed interest and it gives me hopes to develop friendships with them down the road.
Even the littlest things make me excited such as signing “Thank-you”. When I go to the stores, there have been times when the cashiers picked up on my deafness from seeing me using sign language or my “Deaf accent” which they would sign “Thank you” to me as I was leaving the store. That isn’t even a minute long conversation but it thrills me when people put in the effort to do things like that. Every time that happens, it makes my day ... when I run into people like that, so if you are one of them, don’t be shy to show off some sign language skills! :)
In Connecticut, I am struggling to find a deaf community around here or at least some deaf friends. I am also struggling in befriending with new hearing people. I'm not facing the same challenges of a hearing person meeting people in the new location. It may take not long for them to make new friends. In meeting new people, I have to say that I am the most motivated to develop friendships with people express interest in communicating with me via sign language.
However, I am not saying that people are required to learn sign language to be friends with deaf people. There is the old traditional method of paper and pen. If you are high tech, you can type out on notepads or blank text on your mobile screen & show it to a deaf person. You also can sometime be lucky if the deaf person has a hearing person with them that would be able to interpret (i.e. my boyfriend can interpret for me).
A common question that I get all the time is "Can you lip read?" *WARNING* Some deaf people can lip read, not all of them through! I am one of those who can lip read but it takes a while for me to understand EVERYONE. Do not depend on deaf person to lip read - they still will be missing out on some words.
I do highly recommend that if you want to maintain an effective friendship with a deaf individual to learn sign language. There is a huge difference in a friendship depending on the communication methods. Conversations only through paper/pen compared to conversations via sign language. In paper/pen method, details are often left out. Nobody has fun to continue writing every word of a conversation with hand cramps. Communicating via sign language will allow the deaf individual to express as much they like to. My preferred communication method is using sign language to develop friendships.
I personally have felt frustration when I meet new people who don’t put in the efforts to somehow communicate with me. When I get very frustrated, I most often give up on those who do not put in the same efforts as I am in communicating. It gives me the feeling that they don’t care enough. But, I can tell you that it will make a deaf person’s day when they go out in the public to bump into people who express interest in deaf culture or show off some sign language skills. It grabs my attention towards them, and I feel motivated to communicate with them. An example of an incident would include the gathering I recently went to play the game of Apples-to-Apples where I was the only deaf person there. Some people brought up questions regarding my deafness. I immediately opened up to them and gave them as much details I could via interpreter (my boyfriend). I felt really excited that they showed interest and it gives me hopes to develop friendships with them down the road.
Even the littlest things make me excited such as signing “Thank-you”. When I go to the stores, there have been times when the cashiers picked up on my deafness from seeing me using sign language or my “Deaf accent” which they would sign “Thank you” to me as I was leaving the store. That isn’t even a minute long conversation but it thrills me when people put in the effort to do things like that. Every time that happens, it makes my day ... when I run into people like that, so if you are one of them, don’t be shy to show off some sign language skills! :)
22.2.12
Deaf in the Media
Several people have been asking me lately what my opinions were about deaf in tv shows/movies in the past year.
Marlee Matlin made an appearance on the show "Dancing with the Stars" in 2008 then Donald Trump's tv show "Celebrity Apprentice" in early 2010. Even through, she already been a celebrity for a long time as she won awards for her acting role in the movie, "Children of a Lesser God" (great movie!) back in late 1980's, but I feel that her recent appearances on those two shows have grabbed the attention of the world towards deafness.
It seems like deafness have been spreading awareness via media more often lately. I am very glad about that, as I think people should have an idea of the deaf community.
I recently saw a movie on Lifetime Channel called "Listen to Your Heart" (2010). It was about a hearing male who is a singer falling in love with a deaf girl. In this movie, the deaf girl only used ASL with no voice. In the beginning of the singer & deaf girl's relationship, there had been similar beginning of my relationship with my hearing boyfriend regarding communication. They started out with writing. Eventually, the singer learned some sign language. The only difference was that I use my voice, and the girl didn't. I like this concept of the hearing-and-deaf relationship in that movie since I am living that experience right now. Otherwise, the representation of the deaf girl didn't impress me too much since that wasn't who I was, however, there are deaf people out there that is like her. That's just one example of the variety of deaf people that exist in the world.
You may see more variety on ABC Family channel's show "Switched at Birth". This show is about two high school girls who were switched by accident at the time of their births at the hospital, which one of the girl had been deaf. I was worried when this show first came out that it would be a dramatic show for teens. I was wrong. This show is good for family audience in my opinion. In this show, the deaf girl attends a deaf institute. She had a male deaf best friend who has deaf parents. There was variety of deaf people in the show. The deaf girl is displayed on the show to be in both worlds of hearing and deaf. She attends a school for the deaf, but she lives at home with hearing family. She is mainstreamed like I am. The show also have been nailing on the deaf culture. In every show, there is an aspect of many challenges that deaf people face daily in their lives. For example, I'm going to use the deaf-and-hearing relationship again, the deaf male best friend is in a relationship with a hearing girl. There are frustrations of communication, understanding, respecting the boundaries of deaf person, etc. in the relationship which was clearly emphasized on the tv show. I am very impressed with "Switched at Birth" so far, and it is one of my favorite shows to watch every week. It also is the closest thing I have right now to the deaf world (Miss you Rochester!).
I suggest that everybody should watch "Switched at Birth" to learn the deaf culture & it does have a lot teaching methods of how to communicate with deaf people. I like that the show is entertaining people but at same time it has hidden messages related to deaf culture. I strongly feel that this show is spreading the awareness of deafness since it is on television every week on a popular channel.
This past October (2011), there was a movie released called "The Hammer". It is a biographical movie about first deaf wrestler to win National Collegiate Wrestling Championship. The deaf wrestler, Matt Hamill is also known for fighting professionally for UFC before retiring. Also, guess what? The deaf wrestler is an alumni of my college - RIT! Go RIT Tigers! The movie was filmed at RIT campus as well several other locations. This is a very deaf based movie. The part of his time at RIT shows EXACTLY what the deaf community at RIT was like. If you want a glimpse of my RIT life, just watch the movie.
Overall, the movie was based on a deaf person which I was able to relate to. Our deaf experiences are very much similar. Prior to attending RIT, Matt Hamill's communication method included lip reading & speaking with his voice. He learned more ASL once he was at RIT. I had the same experience which I definitely learned most of my sign language skills at RIT. We attended RIT so we have the same understanding of the deaf community in Rochester. He came from a hearing family, which I did too. We both are a lot alike in these area of experiences. I highly recommend that everyone watch the movie "The Hammer". You can purchase DVD copies in stores or online right now!
I am very proud to see deaf in the media to spread awareness & teach people about deafness/deaf culture after all there are a million deaf people existing in the world.
Marlee Matlin made an appearance on the show "Dancing with the Stars" in 2008 then Donald Trump's tv show "Celebrity Apprentice" in early 2010. Even through, she already been a celebrity for a long time as she won awards for her acting role in the movie, "Children of a Lesser God" (great movie!) back in late 1980's, but I feel that her recent appearances on those two shows have grabbed the attention of the world towards deafness.
It seems like deafness have been spreading awareness via media more often lately. I am very glad about that, as I think people should have an idea of the deaf community.
I recently saw a movie on Lifetime Channel called "Listen to Your Heart" (2010). It was about a hearing male who is a singer falling in love with a deaf girl. In this movie, the deaf girl only used ASL with no voice. In the beginning of the singer & deaf girl's relationship, there had been similar beginning of my relationship with my hearing boyfriend regarding communication. They started out with writing. Eventually, the singer learned some sign language. The only difference was that I use my voice, and the girl didn't. I like this concept of the hearing-and-deaf relationship in that movie since I am living that experience right now. Otherwise, the representation of the deaf girl didn't impress me too much since that wasn't who I was, however, there are deaf people out there that is like her. That's just one example of the variety of deaf people that exist in the world.
You may see more variety on ABC Family channel's show "Switched at Birth". This show is about two high school girls who were switched by accident at the time of their births at the hospital, which one of the girl had been deaf. I was worried when this show first came out that it would be a dramatic show for teens. I was wrong. This show is good for family audience in my opinion. In this show, the deaf girl attends a deaf institute. She had a male deaf best friend who has deaf parents. There was variety of deaf people in the show. The deaf girl is displayed on the show to be in both worlds of hearing and deaf. She attends a school for the deaf, but she lives at home with hearing family. She is mainstreamed like I am. The show also have been nailing on the deaf culture. In every show, there is an aspect of many challenges that deaf people face daily in their lives. For example, I'm going to use the deaf-and-hearing relationship again, the deaf male best friend is in a relationship with a hearing girl. There are frustrations of communication, understanding, respecting the boundaries of deaf person, etc. in the relationship which was clearly emphasized on the tv show. I am very impressed with "Switched at Birth" so far, and it is one of my favorite shows to watch every week. It also is the closest thing I have right now to the deaf world (Miss you Rochester!).
I suggest that everybody should watch "Switched at Birth" to learn the deaf culture & it does have a lot teaching methods of how to communicate with deaf people. I like that the show is entertaining people but at same time it has hidden messages related to deaf culture. I strongly feel that this show is spreading the awareness of deafness since it is on television every week on a popular channel.
This past October (2011), there was a movie released called "The Hammer". It is a biographical movie about first deaf wrestler to win National Collegiate Wrestling Championship. The deaf wrestler, Matt Hamill is also known for fighting professionally for UFC before retiring. Also, guess what? The deaf wrestler is an alumni of my college - RIT! Go RIT Tigers! The movie was filmed at RIT campus as well several other locations. This is a very deaf based movie. The part of his time at RIT shows EXACTLY what the deaf community at RIT was like. If you want a glimpse of my RIT life, just watch the movie.
Overall, the movie was based on a deaf person which I was able to relate to. Our deaf experiences are very much similar. Prior to attending RIT, Matt Hamill's communication method included lip reading & speaking with his voice. He learned more ASL once he was at RIT. I had the same experience which I definitely learned most of my sign language skills at RIT. We attended RIT so we have the same understanding of the deaf community in Rochester. He came from a hearing family, which I did too. We both are a lot alike in these area of experiences. I highly recommend that everyone watch the movie "The Hammer". You can purchase DVD copies in stores or online right now!
I am very proud to see deaf in the media to spread awareness & teach people about deafness/deaf culture after all there are a million deaf people existing in the world.
4.1.12
Mirror reflection of myself
Happy 2012 to everyone, and welcome to my first blog of 2012.
My holiday season in Upstate NY was fun filled being with my family and relatives. I wish it could have been longer! I hope that your holiday season were as good.
On Christmas Eve, there was a guest that attended my family's gathering which was a mirror reflection of myself. Only a Japanese version. Let me explain, a family friend have been working in Japan for his company which is based in Upstate NY which he apparently brought home a Japanese girlfriend. She spoke with a broken English accent. While figuring how they communicated, apparently he spoke some Japanese to her. It was interesting to see a couple that was similar to my boyfriend and I. He learned some Japanese, so he spoke what he knew to the girlfriend and the girlfriend learned some English as she had spoke in a broken English accent. There was several times when he had to interpret for my English speaking relatives for her. Just like my boyfriend and I. We both know English, but he still had to learn ASL to communicate with me. I try to use my voice to talk to him to have him understand me. He had to interpret for me with non ASL signers like his family, co-workers, friends.
Seeing the Japanese guest at my family's Christmas Eve was a weird experience. It was my first time experiencing something like that. I caught the family friend talking in a fast paced English with like three of my uncles, while she stood behind him with the expression of being lost in her face. She didn't know what they were talking about. The men burst out in hard laughter, and she put on a fake laugh to blend in. I knew EXACTLY what she was feeling.
I was taken back, as I didn't think that what deaf people experience could be so alike to what people who speak a foreign language experience in socializing with English speaking people. I just didn't think of it. I have seen many other language speakers in New York City several times, but it never occurred to me what experiences they have. Which can be a lot alike to the deaf community experiences. It was a first time to have a foreigner up close socializing among me.
Even through I never talked to her, we still have that bond. The bond of sharing the same experiences of dating a person who relies strongly on speaking English. I know that I know English too, but I don't have people that always understand me because of my "deaf accent". Many deaf people have a "deaf accent", which could be a whole new language with million of deaf people existing in the world.
This experience showed me that deaf people aren't alone. There are million other people out there in the world that can relate to our experiences.
Just as I thought I was alone at that Christmas Eve party, I wasn't.
My holiday season in Upstate NY was fun filled being with my family and relatives. I wish it could have been longer! I hope that your holiday season were as good.
On Christmas Eve, there was a guest that attended my family's gathering which was a mirror reflection of myself. Only a Japanese version. Let me explain, a family friend have been working in Japan for his company which is based in Upstate NY which he apparently brought home a Japanese girlfriend. She spoke with a broken English accent. While figuring how they communicated, apparently he spoke some Japanese to her. It was interesting to see a couple that was similar to my boyfriend and I. He learned some Japanese, so he spoke what he knew to the girlfriend and the girlfriend learned some English as she had spoke in a broken English accent. There was several times when he had to interpret for my English speaking relatives for her. Just like my boyfriend and I. We both know English, but he still had to learn ASL to communicate with me. I try to use my voice to talk to him to have him understand me. He had to interpret for me with non ASL signers like his family, co-workers, friends.
Seeing the Japanese guest at my family's Christmas Eve was a weird experience. It was my first time experiencing something like that. I caught the family friend talking in a fast paced English with like three of my uncles, while she stood behind him with the expression of being lost in her face. She didn't know what they were talking about. The men burst out in hard laughter, and she put on a fake laugh to blend in. I knew EXACTLY what she was feeling.
I was taken back, as I didn't think that what deaf people experience could be so alike to what people who speak a foreign language experience in socializing with English speaking people. I just didn't think of it. I have seen many other language speakers in New York City several times, but it never occurred to me what experiences they have. Which can be a lot alike to the deaf community experiences. It was a first time to have a foreigner up close socializing among me.
Even through I never talked to her, we still have that bond. The bond of sharing the same experiences of dating a person who relies strongly on speaking English. I know that I know English too, but I don't have people that always understand me because of my "deaf accent". Many deaf people have a "deaf accent", which could be a whole new language with million of deaf people existing in the world.
This experience showed me that deaf people aren't alone. There are million other people out there in the world that can relate to our experiences.
Just as I thought I was alone at that Christmas Eve party, I wasn't.
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