20.12.10

How to interact with deaf people?

Today I went to the post office to mail something out. I went up to the clerk to purchase stamp only to be faced with awkwardness with interacting with me. I spoke to her, "I want to buy stamp" while pointing to the stamp area on the envelope. The clerk brought out stamps and all of that, only to ask me a question. I asked her to repeat - in which she started noticing my accent. She looked at me like puzzled and I said, "Can you write, I'm deaf" while gesturing writing-on-paper motion. She just stared at me more. I started to get boiling mad because of that look which makes me feel inferior and a foreigner in my own country. I said again, "I'm deaf". She shrugged her shoulders, which implied that she didn't know how to interact with me. I motioned again to write on a paper. She didn't barge. I looked around for something on the counter in which I just found a paper with space that I could write onto. I wrote, "I'm deaf. What was your question" and gave it to her. She looked amazed at what I just did. She wrote back in response, "Do you want to buy insurance" in which I replied by shaking my head 'no'. The rest of that incident was just purchasing the stamp and walk out of there.

Wow, really. Wasted like 10 minutes for that crap. I'm sick of that happening all of the time when I make it clear what to do every time that awkwardness occurs. It's common sense what I was asking her to do.

It's amazing how some people out there DO NOT know how interacts with deaf people. I understand that some people may never met deaf people in their lives but still, it's common sense to NOT treat them like aliens. I wish EVERYONE would put themselves in that person's shoes and imagine how they'd want to be treated.

Even not just the deafness, every time I have came across all types of people - if there is barrier with something - I always put myself in their shoes and imagine the best possible solution. I know that I'm one of those people that I may be more understanding to interacting with anyone.

I have came across people who don't know how to interact with me at all that I would eventually show them how to interact with me. Usually the typical first movie is the paper-and-pen or a computer screen to type back and forth on Word. After that, I expect them to know how to interact because I showed it to them. There's no excuse.

When it comes to interacting with a certain type of people, I hold high expectations for people who has sign language or deafness-related knowledge within their family. Let me explain what I mean. My mom is a teacher in autistic classroom, in which I have learned a little about autistic kids as I grew up. I may not know 100% how to interact with autistic kids but I take some of the knowledge I gained from my mother & have no fear in trying something with them. I have opened up to autistic kids over the years as I grew up to be more comfortable with them. Few years ago, I ended up getting an autistic cousin now, and I just absolutely adore him. I love trying to interact with him at family events, and I always find a way to some how play with him even if it's unsuccessful - at least I TRIED.

So what I mean, I have high expectations for people who have some knowledge of the deaf culture, have parents employed where there is deafness involved, know some sign language, etc. I hold HIGH expectations for them, period. I expect my brother to sign when he comes across deaf people at his work, in which I was told he does. I have emphasized to my brother many times that it will make their days anyways if they know there's someone who can help them in the store that knows sign language instead of finding another worker to treat them like aliens.

I don't see how it is difficult to interact with deaf people. I know that I can't judge that with being deaf myself. But honestly, I have to learn how to INTERACT with hearing people. How would that be different? I have to find resources and methods to communicate EVERY day. It irritates me when I come across hearing people that only have to interact with me for few minutes, few hours, etc. to not want to try interacting with me. I have to interact with you, hearing people EVERY DAY.

Because of this difficulties from hearing people, once in while I would give up and not bother to talk to hearing people. Why would I do all of the work? It only just makes me stressed and frustrated. Sometime when I know that I may face that kind situation, I do think about whether I'm in the mood for that. Sad, huh? I bet that hearing people don't have to think whether they're in the mood to be frustrated, stressed, feel lower than dirt, etc.

The way I see it, it's a two-way street. Both deaf people and hearing people put in the effort EQUALLY and there will be a successful interacting.

14.12.10

Reversed

Long time no blogging. I apologize as I got busy with the winter quarter starting up after a wonderful Thanksgiving break in CT. I was very down in the first week from missing my boyfriend. I also got elected as the President for my sorority for this year's term (Nov 2010-Nov 2011). It's a huge honor but a huge task to take on!

Last weekend, my sorority hosted the annual holiday dinner at a sister's house. I asked my brother to come up to Rochester to be my date to the dinner since my boyfriend couldn't take the time off from work & I was already planning to see him a week later for winter break. My brother came up to Rochester. We got to the house, and approximately 80 people had been there. Last time he was around that much deaf people was... NEVER. He has experienced being in a group up to six deaf people at once, that was it. So, it was another world for him.

Later that night, when my brother and I went back home to my place. He blew up at me out of anger that I had "ignored" and "ditched" him. I had started to laugh. Why? He was expressing the exact same feelings that I experience when I'm in HIS world. I don't think he still realizes how it was reversed for both of us with me being in my world. He used the excuse that I still had him and my mom. Well, what about me? He had me there. What's the difference?

I understand his frustration, but does he? I experienced this frustration EVERY single day for 18 years in Elmira at home, at school, anywhere. He only experienced this for 4 hours... LUCKY HIM. It was definitely weird to be in reversed position with him frustrated at me for not including him in conversations, leaving him, ignoring him, etc.

How can I ever make hearing people understand what us, deaf people feel like in their world? I don't think there any other way than having them come into our deaf world ALONE among many of us, but will it REALLY effect them and make them think about it?

1.12.10

OMG! There's deaf people out there?

Hope all of you had a good Thanksgiving. I had a very good break going to CT to see the boyfriend. I celebrated my first holiday away from the family. It was difficult but it turned out to be a really nice time. We also celebrated our first year of our relationship - the best year ever in my lifetime.

I'm glad that I got the chance to go to CT to see the area that my boyfriend just moved to (he got a new job there). The town was so much similar to Rochester, it really weirded me out. Only difference was obviously the deaf community. I cannot tell you how many laughs I had in CT. Some people sure got their slap-in-their-face moments.

The very first full day I was in CT, I was bored with the boyfriend working 7am-4pm so I decided to explore the area. The apartment was right off this long road full of many stores. I stopped at Walgreen's to purchase last minute card for Adam for our 1 year (November 20th!). I brought it up to the cash register, and had looked down in my wallet to get the cash out only to look up to the dude looking irritated. I just looked and did a little smile (with no teeth showing, that kind smile). He, then said "Hello, are you deaf?!". Finally that moment came for me when someone said that! Usually I would have blew off at him but I just glanced at him for a moment before I said "Yeah". He responded again, "Seriously?" with a dead serious look, in which I replied AGAIN, "Yeah". He looked at me for literally a full minute before he proceed to run the register with my purchases. Yeah dude, there are deaf people out there (GASP). I walked out of the store laughing. I wonder if that dude would ever use that statement in the future.

In CT, there were people staring every day every where. That's the usual. But this slap-in-your-face incident occurred at Wal Mart had me rolling the floor laughing. Adam and I had stood in middle of aisle discussing our dinner plans. A man apparently was staring at us while he was walking past us only to walk into another lady's cart. Boo-yah, karma for staring. Thanks for the laugh, sir.

It was a long time since I left Rochester into worlds with less awareness of the deafness. It was amazing how I didn't let most of things bother me as the usual. I only recall getting irritated with people staring which I would just drop the conversation and take my boyfriend to a new location with more privacy. I'm beginning to think that I've got laid back with my deafness and maybe having more confident with who I am. That's something for me to analyze now.

That's it for tonight, folks. Maybe more funny moments coming for all of those future trips back to CT.