Sophomore '08

I promised a blog about my sophomore year of college. To refresh your memory:

http://behinddeafeyes.blogspot.com/2010/07/fresh-meat-07.html

My first year at RIT was like taking a roller coaster ride. I was trying to find myself. Last paragraph in the blog described my fears with the deaf community which I disconnected myself from that world in the last quarter (Spring). I left my first year at RIT for summer in Upstate NY back to hearing world.

That summer of 2008 was one of the best summers I had. I finally had a group of hearing friends which I hung out with almost the entire summer. I had a summer boyfriend. I worked in a classroom with deaf students. I got my first car. Reunited with my family.

It was interesting how that job in the deaf classroom was unexpected. Seeing those younger deaf students often gave me flashbacks to my childhood days. I recalled that I didn't know how different I was until I was 11 years old. I was the happiest girl before that, and I changed when I realized what my life was about to be like. Now, I'm having difficulty with choosing where to belong in Rochester. Those kids made me think a lot about where to put my foot down. What identity do I want?

Returning to college for round two was even more difficult than first year. I isolated myself a lot in fall quarter and felt so unhappy. I drove home every weekend to be with my family. I felt the happiest at home. I felt that I was a commuter student, going up to Rochester on Mondays, going to classes during the week then home on Thursdays. Looking back at this, I have definitely missed out a lot on college life. I do not have regrets because that's what truly made me happy - to be at home. When I returned to RIT after Thanksgiving break, I started the first week of my 2nd quarter (Winter). I was unfocused and unmotivated to continue at RIT. I made the decision to take a leave of absence.

I returned home to Upstate NY which during that time, I was figuring out myself again. I transferred to Corning Community College in Corning, NY to get an associate degree in liberal arts. Only I never showed up to register for courses. It was too late once the first day of second semester at Corning came and went. I was unsure of what I wanted in my life, which was one of the reasons for the leave of absence. I needed that time to be healthy, find myself, figure out what I want, explore my options, and be happy again.

Eventually, I made the decision to return to RIT for Spring quarter. I don't remember why I decided to go back. I just remember being bored at home with no job or school to go to every day. When I went back to RIT, I moved in a dorm room which I had to myself so I isolated myself all hours except when I had to go to classes. I still disconnected myself from the deaf world. I still went home to Upstate NY every weekend.

In fact, that Spring quarter I applied to another university. I got accepted to transfer to Mansfield University in Mansfield, PA. I applied to MU for two reasons. It was close to home. I need reassurance that I could get into another college than RIT. I felt like I was put on one-way track to apply to RIT & only got in there because I was deaf. MU accepting me made me excited. I considered all options whether I should go through with it. The term would start in Fall 2009. I would like to leave you all on a cliffhanger to what college I choose but I have already blogged about Rochester & graduation from RIT. I did indeed choose to remain at RIT. The biggest consideration in my decision making was the deaf community and my love for the Criminal Justice department at RIT. The faculty in CJ department was the most excellent professors I could ever come across. I loved them too much to leave. I knew I wouldn't get any better support (interpreter, notetaker, etc.) that I had at RIT anywhere else as well.

I had a non existing college life that year. I do not have regrets. It was the roughest year I had in college and it was the best for me to be around family who supported me through everything. It was a tough decision to take the leave of absence, but I knew that I needed that time to myself. It wasn't doing any good for me to remain in Rochester being so unhappy.

Summer 2009/Junior year coming to you soon!