Once I graduated from RIT in 2011, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do career wise. As you know I majored in criminal justice. I focused on corrections/policing until I found passion with court/law in the last year of college. I was considering to go to law school. I wasn't prepared to commit to another 3 years of school, so I decided to take the time to make sure it was what I wanted. I knew I had the passion for the criminal justice field so I just had to narrow it down.
I moved to Groton, CT after my graduation, reuniting with my boyfriend who had moved there for his job the previous year. I started applying to jobs in the area which I ran across Transportation Security Officer (TSO) position with T.F. Green airport in Providence, R.I. which I applied to in March 2012. This became the ultimate dream job because with my love for airplanes and security combined in one, I thought it would be the perfect job. I also loved the airport environment every time I traveled. I was invited to take the x-ray exam (identifying items in x-ray monitor images) and I drove to East Smithfield, R.I. to take the exam. I was a nervewreck not knowing what to expect, but I passed it with flying colors as I got the e-mail the very next day.
I was excited for the next step which was waiting for a call from the airport to come in for airport assessment (interview, color vision test, paperwork). A position finally opened up in August 2012 while I was employed at American School for the Deaf. I called back immediately and left three voice mails in a week period. I even tried to call to get a person on the line, but no luck. A month later, they stated that they never got any of my messages and that the position had been filled.
I didn't want to give up so I continued the search for Transportation Security Officer positions which a few opened up at Tweed in New Haven, CT and Bradley in Hartford, CT. Unfortunately I never got any calls. In April 2014, another position opened up at T.F. Green in Providence, R.I. so I applied again. The first test I had taken was only good for certain time so I had to take the test again which I passed the second time. A week later I got the call for airport assessment. I was thrilled to finally get this far.
The woman on the phone recognized that I was deaf from using the relay on the phone so she requested that I put in a formal request with Transportation Security Administration headquarters. I had a week to put in the request and have it approved in order to be able to participate in the assessment. It was a VERY stressful week of calling the headquarters every day and getting the paperwork faxed to them immediately.
The headquarters finally sent me a letter on the last day of the window to schedule the assessment. The letter had been sent to me via Fed Ex overnight. I also got an e-mail from the director of accessibility services. Both letters had REJECTED the approval to have an interpreter at the assessment. It SHATTERED my confidence for the assessment. The letter stated that TSA had a hearing level that I had to pass in order to be able to do the job. How did they know my hearing level? I didn't even the chance to take the hearing test part of the physical exam which would have came down the road. I was very disappointed and hurt because I had high hopes of being a TSO and felt very confident that I could do the job despite my disability.
I contacted the state lawyer who worked for Office of Protection and Advocacy for Persons with Disabilities to see if TSA had the grounds to deny me the right of having an interpreter. The lawyers looked into it immediately and came back to me saying that they did have that authority since it was federal based agency. The letters stated that even through the interpreter request was denied, I could still schedule the assessment without interpreter. I decided to do so with hopes of communicating verbally as much I could and resort to writing when necessary.
After scheduling the assessment, I got another e-mail from the director at the headquarters confirming my scheduled assessment and stated I was NOT able to bring paper/pen or alternative method in communicating. She also stated it would be group style interview with 3 supervisors/employees with 3 other candidates as well. My heart broke after reading this e-mail knowing I cannot do group style interview without any assistance in communicating. My confidence SANK even further to the Earth's core. I felt that it was their mission to make it IMPOSSIBLE for me. They were making everything difficult for me and continue to shatter my hope on getting the ultimate dream job.
I was shocked at how little the ADA law could help me in this situation. This needs to change, to allow accessibility to people with disability to be able to work for TSA. Deaf people are considered to be more visible than an average person since we have the loss of hearing we rely more on our vision. That skill would be very helpful for TSA as it is the primary job to inspect civilians/their luggage which requires vision more than anything else. I hope that someday TSA will be able to hire deaf people.
12.8.14
22.4.14
Technology for the Deaf
As all of you know, technology continues to be developed in today's society. That includes technology for the deaf to allow them the accessibility. Through out my life, I have experienced various of technology devices and still experiencing new technology to this day.
TV Captioning:
My first memory of technology to allow accessibility for the deaf people was the old fashion captioning box for TV. I was born in the 1980's so all televisions then didn't automatically have closed captions. I had this old fashion captioning box on top of my VCR player. If I wanted to watch TV/movies, I would have to turn it on every time to turn on the captioning on TV. I can't recall when I finally got rid of that box when all televisions had closed captions, but I would guess somewhere in early 90's.
Movie Captioning:
My first movie theater experience with captioning was in 2006 when I was 17 years old. I have gone to the movie theater few times before 2006, but during these times my mom would sit next to me and give me a summary of what's going on every 5 minutes. It was difficult because I had to turn my head to see her (in the dark!) then back to the screen, back and forth multiple times. It also attracted attention from other moviegoers sitting behind us. I didn't like going to movie theaters, so I rarely went there. When I moved to Rochester, I started going to the movies often. There were more captioning availability in the movie theaters in Rochester, but we still had to wait a week after movie release to see it with captions. The only expectation of waiting a week after movie release only happened with movies that had midnight premieres. In late 2012, captioning changed again in the movie theaters. They stopped having captions on the screen but instead giving out captioning glasses to deaf people. I experienced the captioning glasses for the first time in Hartford, CT. I absolutely HATED it. The glasses are uncomfortable because they were so big and I had to keep my head straight the entire movie to see the captions on the screen. Every time I moved my head to look at my friend, the captions would be on my friend's face. I am very disappointed that they don't do the captions on the screen anymore because I enjoyed that the most. It allowed the accessibility to movies and blend in the crowd without anyone knowing that I was deaf. The captioning glasses made me stand out in the crowd. Now, I only go to the movies when I am desperate to see the movie.
Videophone:
I received my first videophone during my high school years. The video phone came with a box with webcam attached, which I had to place on top of the TV. On the TV, there was two images side by side, which one was me and the other would be the caller I'm speaking to. In high school, I went to a week long camp at RIT where I met many deaf friends, whom I stayed in touch with by video phone. I would chat with them like a regular conversation we could carry as if we were in person. The video phone also had a relay with interpreters to call hearing people. The interpreter will dial the number and speak to them on the phone while they were signing to me via the web cam. The issue with any relay service is that they open the conversation stating their company and interpreter's registry number which confuses hearing people who haven't experience the relay. I have a funny story with my grandpa, who I tried to call while I was at college to get a ride home to surprise my family. My grandpa is old fashioned - he didn't have a computer or cell phone where I could easily get in touch with him. I called him via the relay at his work. He picked up the phone, which the interpreter opened the conversation with "Sprint Relay (and rest of information including the interpreter registry number). My grandpa thought it was telemarketer from Sprint trying to sell phones so he hung up. I called back one more time and he hung up again. I didn't know what to do then. Few hours later, I called back but told the interpreter to not open the conversation in that way but state that it is me calling using an interpreter. The interpreter also was able to explain the relay to him a bit so we were finally able to have a conversation to plan the surprise. He felt terrible about what he did, but this is the normal reaction for most hearing people who haven't experience the relay.
Dorm:
When I moved into my dorm room at RIT, I was overwhelmed with the technology in the room. I had a doorbell outside of the room which I had a strobe light to signal me if someone rang the doorbell. I also had two other signals in the room for carbon dioxide and fire alarm. The carbon dioxide alarm would flash a yellow light if it ever went off (which it never did for me). The doorbell and the fire alarm both were white which was tricky to detect which was what. I had to look at the plate color, which fire alarm obviously had red. The fire alarm went off multiple times during night through out my college years and it wasn't fun to stare (I was half asleep!) at the BRIGHT light flashing in my eyes trying to see if it was the fire alarm!
Classroom technology:
At RIT, I was in mostly mainstreamed classes with hearing professors and hearing students. The deaf students had the option of an interpreter or c-print system. I am familiar with interpreters from having them through out my childhood. The c-print system was new to me, they seemed to be common with hard of hearing or deaf people who didn't know much of sign language. They had a laptop propped in front of them and someone would be typing word by word of what was said in the classroom. I personally never requested the c-print system but I have sat next to deaf classmates who had it. I would glance over at the c-print computer when I could, it was interesting. I felt that even through it was typed word by word, there was still many things missed. Interpreters also leave out some information as well, so it's just what the student prefer. If a professor called on the student with c-print system, the student have to type back their answer on the computer (but some of them were able to verbally give their reply or they would use the interpreter). We also had the option to use note takers in classes which I had that in high school so I requested it again in college. Due to limitations of access service staff, if a c-print system is already requested in the class then their typing were my "notes". That was only thing that I disliked. The note takers takes notes the way professor writes out the notes on a board, and it is more structured and organized. The c-print notes is dialogue notes. It can be difficult to pick out specific note I'm looking for in c-print notes because on average it was 20 pages long while a regular note taker's notes were 2-5 pages.
Hospital:
Growing up, I never had to go to the hospital (lucky me!) for anything until the last two years. In the last two years, I had kidney stones, pink eyes, and a kidney stones-scare (thought I had them again). I went to L+M Hospital in New London, CT. I had an interpreter for my kidney stone ER visit. The second time I went to the ER, I had a kidney stones scare which I was experiencing the same signs as the kidney stones but some how I didn't have them (still don't know what was wrong). During that ER visit, I experienced internet video conference with an interpreter for the first time. There was a mobile computer on wheels which the doctor had a conference call with an interpreter. The interpreter interpret what the doctor said, which I had to look back and forth from the doctor to the computer monitor. I also couldn't see myself so I didn't know if my signing were visible for the interpreter to interpret. I also was laying in bed which was an awkward position for me to sign to someone since they were seeing me from a side angle. It was so frustrating that after couple times of using it, I didn't want to use it anymore and started talking verbally to the doctor myself. I prefer a real live interpreter to be present in the room which I will be making sure to have for any further visits I may have (hopefully not but being realistic!).
There are many more technology that I have experienced through out my life, but this summarized the main technology that I have used which helped me to have the accessibility. I look forward to trying out more and finding out what is best suitable for me.
*I'm not forgetting the cochlear implants, which is a well known technology. It is a controversial topic in the deaf community enough to be a single post which will be coming soon!
TV Captioning:
My first memory of technology to allow accessibility for the deaf people was the old fashion captioning box for TV. I was born in the 1980's so all televisions then didn't automatically have closed captions. I had this old fashion captioning box on top of my VCR player. If I wanted to watch TV/movies, I would have to turn it on every time to turn on the captioning on TV. I can't recall when I finally got rid of that box when all televisions had closed captions, but I would guess somewhere in early 90's.
Movie Captioning:
My first movie theater experience with captioning was in 2006 when I was 17 years old. I have gone to the movie theater few times before 2006, but during these times my mom would sit next to me and give me a summary of what's going on every 5 minutes. It was difficult because I had to turn my head to see her (in the dark!) then back to the screen, back and forth multiple times. It also attracted attention from other moviegoers sitting behind us. I didn't like going to movie theaters, so I rarely went there. When I moved to Rochester, I started going to the movies often. There were more captioning availability in the movie theaters in Rochester, but we still had to wait a week after movie release to see it with captions. The only expectation of waiting a week after movie release only happened with movies that had midnight premieres. In late 2012, captioning changed again in the movie theaters. They stopped having captions on the screen but instead giving out captioning glasses to deaf people. I experienced the captioning glasses for the first time in Hartford, CT. I absolutely HATED it. The glasses are uncomfortable because they were so big and I had to keep my head straight the entire movie to see the captions on the screen. Every time I moved my head to look at my friend, the captions would be on my friend's face. I am very disappointed that they don't do the captions on the screen anymore because I enjoyed that the most. It allowed the accessibility to movies and blend in the crowd without anyone knowing that I was deaf. The captioning glasses made me stand out in the crowd. Now, I only go to the movies when I am desperate to see the movie.
Videophone:
I received my first videophone during my high school years. The video phone came with a box with webcam attached, which I had to place on top of the TV. On the TV, there was two images side by side, which one was me and the other would be the caller I'm speaking to. In high school, I went to a week long camp at RIT where I met many deaf friends, whom I stayed in touch with by video phone. I would chat with them like a regular conversation we could carry as if we were in person. The video phone also had a relay with interpreters to call hearing people. The interpreter will dial the number and speak to them on the phone while they were signing to me via the web cam. The issue with any relay service is that they open the conversation stating their company and interpreter's registry number which confuses hearing people who haven't experience the relay. I have a funny story with my grandpa, who I tried to call while I was at college to get a ride home to surprise my family. My grandpa is old fashioned - he didn't have a computer or cell phone where I could easily get in touch with him. I called him via the relay at his work. He picked up the phone, which the interpreter opened the conversation with "Sprint Relay (and rest of information including the interpreter registry number). My grandpa thought it was telemarketer from Sprint trying to sell phones so he hung up. I called back one more time and he hung up again. I didn't know what to do then. Few hours later, I called back but told the interpreter to not open the conversation in that way but state that it is me calling using an interpreter. The interpreter also was able to explain the relay to him a bit so we were finally able to have a conversation to plan the surprise. He felt terrible about what he did, but this is the normal reaction for most hearing people who haven't experience the relay.
Dorm:
When I moved into my dorm room at RIT, I was overwhelmed with the technology in the room. I had a doorbell outside of the room which I had a strobe light to signal me if someone rang the doorbell. I also had two other signals in the room for carbon dioxide and fire alarm. The carbon dioxide alarm would flash a yellow light if it ever went off (which it never did for me). The doorbell and the fire alarm both were white which was tricky to detect which was what. I had to look at the plate color, which fire alarm obviously had red. The fire alarm went off multiple times during night through out my college years and it wasn't fun to stare (I was half asleep!) at the BRIGHT light flashing in my eyes trying to see if it was the fire alarm!
Classroom technology:
At RIT, I was in mostly mainstreamed classes with hearing professors and hearing students. The deaf students had the option of an interpreter or c-print system. I am familiar with interpreters from having them through out my childhood. The c-print system was new to me, they seemed to be common with hard of hearing or deaf people who didn't know much of sign language. They had a laptop propped in front of them and someone would be typing word by word of what was said in the classroom. I personally never requested the c-print system but I have sat next to deaf classmates who had it. I would glance over at the c-print computer when I could, it was interesting. I felt that even through it was typed word by word, there was still many things missed. Interpreters also leave out some information as well, so it's just what the student prefer. If a professor called on the student with c-print system, the student have to type back their answer on the computer (but some of them were able to verbally give their reply or they would use the interpreter). We also had the option to use note takers in classes which I had that in high school so I requested it again in college. Due to limitations of access service staff, if a c-print system is already requested in the class then their typing were my "notes". That was only thing that I disliked. The note takers takes notes the way professor writes out the notes on a board, and it is more structured and organized. The c-print notes is dialogue notes. It can be difficult to pick out specific note I'm looking for in c-print notes because on average it was 20 pages long while a regular note taker's notes were 2-5 pages.
Hospital:
Growing up, I never had to go to the hospital (lucky me!) for anything until the last two years. In the last two years, I had kidney stones, pink eyes, and a kidney stones-scare (thought I had them again). I went to L+M Hospital in New London, CT. I had an interpreter for my kidney stone ER visit. The second time I went to the ER, I had a kidney stones scare which I was experiencing the same signs as the kidney stones but some how I didn't have them (still don't know what was wrong). During that ER visit, I experienced internet video conference with an interpreter for the first time. There was a mobile computer on wheels which the doctor had a conference call with an interpreter. The interpreter interpret what the doctor said, which I had to look back and forth from the doctor to the computer monitor. I also couldn't see myself so I didn't know if my signing were visible for the interpreter to interpret. I also was laying in bed which was an awkward position for me to sign to someone since they were seeing me from a side angle. It was so frustrating that after couple times of using it, I didn't want to use it anymore and started talking verbally to the doctor myself. I prefer a real live interpreter to be present in the room which I will be making sure to have for any further visits I may have (hopefully not but being realistic!).
There are many more technology that I have experienced through out my life, but this summarized the main technology that I have used which helped me to have the accessibility. I look forward to trying out more and finding out what is best suitable for me.
*I'm not forgetting the cochlear implants, which is a well known technology. It is a controversial topic in the deaf community enough to be a single post which will be coming soon!
16.7.13
The ASD Chapter
First of all, I want to apologize to everyone for lack of blogging. I can’t believe it’s almost a year since I last blogged. I had a very hard year where I had to find myself again.
Unfortunately I am no longer working at ASD. Today marks the one year when I began the job of residential counselor (RC) at American School for the Deaf in West Hartford, CT. It continued through the school year until end of 2012. As you may have previously read my blog about the summer employment there, I was very happy and excited about working there. I went in there completely lost about my future goals to developing long term goals of either become a Crisis Intervention Specialist or return to college to get a master’s degree in counseling for the deaf. The employment at ASD confirmed my passion of working with kids.
So what happened? The first few months of my employment were great. In the last blog, I stated that my summer employment was ending at ASD and that I have asked HR to consider me for a position in the regular school year – there weren't any openings so I was offered a sub position. The position of RC counts on the students’ enrollment number in the PACES program which students often came at many different times throughout the year so there were chances of openings throughout the year. However, I got called in to sub every day. I was very happy about that, but it was more difficult as a sub because I got assigned to different students daily so I don’t always know their routines or background information which is necessary in helping them meet their needs.
Soon enough I got burn out because I wanted a permanent employment. I continued to work hard, trying, and it was still not good enough. I put in my bid for about 6 openings in the time period from September to December but the priority of the job was given to people who had been at ASD longer than me. There also were other reasons that made me unhappy to work at ASD. Summer was great because it was flexible time for everyone. During the fall, I realized that I wasn’t getting good leadership from my supervisors so that didn’t help the workplace to be a happy place for me. They never supervised me in action or communicated to me about my work performance, so I had no idea how I was doing. There also was a strong dislike towards ASD from other staff so it was difficult to work in high negativity environment.
Despite lack of leadership from my supervisors, I continued to be devoted employee of ASD by showing up early every day, never saying no to picking up on extra shifts, and being available to everyone. I was a very reliable employee that allowed ASD to become my life too much than I should have allowed. It affected my life to where I was living ASD 24/7. However during winter break, I went home to Upstate NY where I had PLENTY of time to think about everything, I decided that it was best for me to leave ASD because I wasn’t satisfied. I also wasn’t impressed with the supervisors’ lack of leadership which killed my passion because they didn’t let me grow. So how can I grow with that lack of leadership from them? I was turned off by that, so that played a huge factor in my decision to leave because I didn’t want to work for them when they don’t allow me or others to grow. I am looking for an employment where I can grow and learn every day. The supervisors didn’t give me that challenge that I’m looking for (but the students did).
I wish that the ASD chapter could have been much better, but it did teach me a lot of what I want in my work environment. I realized that due to poor leadership from the supervisors, I wasn’t confident in my role because I never was properly guided by them. In my heart, I know that I remained a very devoted employee to ASD and I gave them my all. I remember the Welcome Back assembly for staff on first day of school year in September 2012, the assistant executive director quoted “I want all of you to get up in the morning excited to come to work at ASD!”, I sat there in the back of the gym proudly thinking that is me. I came every day very excited to work with these amazing students. It is ASD that is missing out on one of the best employees that they could have had.
Unfortunately I am no longer working at ASD. Today marks the one year when I began the job of residential counselor (RC) at American School for the Deaf in West Hartford, CT. It continued through the school year until end of 2012. As you may have previously read my blog about the summer employment there, I was very happy and excited about working there. I went in there completely lost about my future goals to developing long term goals of either become a Crisis Intervention Specialist or return to college to get a master’s degree in counseling for the deaf. The employment at ASD confirmed my passion of working with kids.
So what happened? The first few months of my employment were great. In the last blog, I stated that my summer employment was ending at ASD and that I have asked HR to consider me for a position in the regular school year – there weren't any openings so I was offered a sub position. The position of RC counts on the students’ enrollment number in the PACES program which students often came at many different times throughout the year so there were chances of openings throughout the year. However, I got called in to sub every day. I was very happy about that, but it was more difficult as a sub because I got assigned to different students daily so I don’t always know their routines or background information which is necessary in helping them meet their needs.
Soon enough I got burn out because I wanted a permanent employment. I continued to work hard, trying, and it was still not good enough. I put in my bid for about 6 openings in the time period from September to December but the priority of the job was given to people who had been at ASD longer than me. There also were other reasons that made me unhappy to work at ASD. Summer was great because it was flexible time for everyone. During the fall, I realized that I wasn’t getting good leadership from my supervisors so that didn’t help the workplace to be a happy place for me. They never supervised me in action or communicated to me about my work performance, so I had no idea how I was doing. There also was a strong dislike towards ASD from other staff so it was difficult to work in high negativity environment.
Despite lack of leadership from my supervisors, I continued to be devoted employee of ASD by showing up early every day, never saying no to picking up on extra shifts, and being available to everyone. I was a very reliable employee that allowed ASD to become my life too much than I should have allowed. It affected my life to where I was living ASD 24/7. However during winter break, I went home to Upstate NY where I had PLENTY of time to think about everything, I decided that it was best for me to leave ASD because I wasn’t satisfied. I also wasn’t impressed with the supervisors’ lack of leadership which killed my passion because they didn’t let me grow. So how can I grow with that lack of leadership from them? I was turned off by that, so that played a huge factor in my decision to leave because I didn’t want to work for them when they don’t allow me or others to grow. I am looking for an employment where I can grow and learn every day. The supervisors didn’t give me that challenge that I’m looking for (but the students did).
I wish that the ASD chapter could have been much better, but it did teach me a lot of what I want in my work environment. I realized that due to poor leadership from the supervisors, I wasn’t confident in my role because I never was properly guided by them. In my heart, I know that I remained a very devoted employee to ASD and I gave them my all. I remember the Welcome Back assembly for staff on first day of school year in September 2012, the assistant executive director quoted “I want all of you to get up in the morning excited to come to work at ASD!”, I sat there in the back of the gym proudly thinking that is me. I came every day very excited to work with these amazing students. It is ASD that is missing out on one of the best employees that they could have had.
9.8.12
American School for the Deaf
I apologize for the lack of blogging in the past 3 months. I was busy with the job hunting. In July, things began to look up for me. I landed about three interviews in one week for positions such as residential counselor, teacher's aide, and office assistant. I had an interview at American School for the Deaf in West Hartford, CT for residential counselor position for PACES program (will explain further about PACES later) for the summer. I still remember the day of the interview because I was so nervous and excited. I had hopes for this job as it is in deaf culture which mean efficient communication for me as well a chance to develop social life with people my age that knew sign language.
I showed up to ASD campus on the day of the interview, which was a beautiful campus despite the construction mess, and went to the location of the interview. I was interviewed by three staff which two were Crisis Invention Specialist (CIS) for PACES program and the third person was a counselor for the PACES students. I felt that I was confident in the interview and left there with even higher hopes of getting an offer.
Sure enough, the day after the interview I received an e-mail with a job offer for the summer term. I was thrilled. I also started the job the following Monday (I got the offer on Thursday or Friday) so it was in a short period of time.
Now this is the irony part, I was excited about the job to have something to do beside sitting around in my apartment job hunting - I still wasn't entirely excited because I didn't see myself in that position in the long run. In the first two weeks of the job, I still had that opinion.
After two weeks passed by, I started looking at the positive aspects of working at ASD. I really enjoy working with staff who knew sign language, it was really simple to communicate to anyone on campus. The students are deaf, which I have always carried the passion to help kids with disabilities so after getting to know them - I gained more passion to help these kids. We obviously have the common understanding of the deafness so I feel that helps some of them to have someone like me there. Most of the residential counselors are hearing people who knows sign language. They are wonderful people who also help out the kids. Growing up, I always had hearing people around me but never a deaf person. I always wanted a deaf role model to see that I can succeed in the future. That's what I want to be for those kids at ASD.
It is rewarding to be in this job at ASD working with the kids in PACES program. It can be challenging because PACES program is specifically for kids with emotional or behavior issues. They aren't blended in with other deaf kids who are in a traditional education setting because of their special needs that needs to be focused on. The PACES students are in their own classroom instead of the grade level - they are separated by the age ranges which is under 13 and 13-21 years old. I am working with the 13-21 years old range students. I am assigned to three female students which I am responsible to know their whereabouts, help them to control issues such as anger, etc. One thing I enjoy about the job is that I have to expect the unknown every day. I never know what will happen. That is one thing keeping the job interesting. If you want further information about PACES program - it is available on the American School for the Deaf website: http://www.asd-1817.org/page.cfm?p=351
And here I am, a week away from the end of the summer job. That idea makes me very devastated because I don't want to leave the wonderful friends I made with the staff and especially the students. I grew to love American School for the Deaf. It also have been a long time since I was happy to be in the deaf world as you all have read my past blogs about my deaf identity issues which deterred me from being involved in the deaf world. I never imagined that being back in the deaf world at ASD will make me as happy I feel right now. I feel like I belong again. I have already asked Human Resources at ASD to consider me for a permanent job in the same position for the school year so wish me luck!
I showed up to ASD campus on the day of the interview, which was a beautiful campus despite the construction mess, and went to the location of the interview. I was interviewed by three staff which two were Crisis Invention Specialist (CIS) for PACES program and the third person was a counselor for the PACES students. I felt that I was confident in the interview and left there with even higher hopes of getting an offer.
Sure enough, the day after the interview I received an e-mail with a job offer for the summer term. I was thrilled. I also started the job the following Monday (I got the offer on Thursday or Friday) so it was in a short period of time.
Now this is the irony part, I was excited about the job to have something to do beside sitting around in my apartment job hunting - I still wasn't entirely excited because I didn't see myself in that position in the long run. In the first two weeks of the job, I still had that opinion.
After two weeks passed by, I started looking at the positive aspects of working at ASD. I really enjoy working with staff who knew sign language, it was really simple to communicate to anyone on campus. The students are deaf, which I have always carried the passion to help kids with disabilities so after getting to know them - I gained more passion to help these kids. We obviously have the common understanding of the deafness so I feel that helps some of them to have someone like me there. Most of the residential counselors are hearing people who knows sign language. They are wonderful people who also help out the kids. Growing up, I always had hearing people around me but never a deaf person. I always wanted a deaf role model to see that I can succeed in the future. That's what I want to be for those kids at ASD.
It is rewarding to be in this job at ASD working with the kids in PACES program. It can be challenging because PACES program is specifically for kids with emotional or behavior issues. They aren't blended in with other deaf kids who are in a traditional education setting because of their special needs that needs to be focused on. The PACES students are in their own classroom instead of the grade level - they are separated by the age ranges which is under 13 and 13-21 years old. I am working with the 13-21 years old range students. I am assigned to three female students which I am responsible to know their whereabouts, help them to control issues such as anger, etc. One thing I enjoy about the job is that I have to expect the unknown every day. I never know what will happen. That is one thing keeping the job interesting. If you want further information about PACES program - it is available on the American School for the Deaf website: http://www.asd-1817.org/page.cfm?p=351
And here I am, a week away from the end of the summer job. That idea makes me very devastated because I don't want to leave the wonderful friends I made with the staff and especially the students. I grew to love American School for the Deaf. It also have been a long time since I was happy to be in the deaf world as you all have read my past blogs about my deaf identity issues which deterred me from being involved in the deaf world. I never imagined that being back in the deaf world at ASD will make me as happy I feel right now. I feel like I belong again. I have already asked Human Resources at ASD to consider me for a permanent job in the same position for the school year so wish me luck!
21.5.12
The worst interview
On May 1st of this year, I had an interview for volunteering with the judicial system in the State of Connecticut. I have been actively seeking for a full time job in New London County area, but haven't been receiving any any job offers yet. I thought it would be good idea to volunteer for few reasons such as having something to do in my free time, network, and meet new people.
I sent an application to New London judicial system for volunteering opportunity. I got a voice mail on my cell phone from the volunteer coordinator wanting to meet for an interview, which I replied back by e-mail to discuss appointment times. We agreed on May 1st at 10am. Her office was located in the Probation building so it was weird for me to be back in the Probation department after my internship with Monroe County Probation in NY. I was hoping for a volunteering position with the Probation department because I am already familiar with Probation. I also enjoyed my internship with Monroe County Probation so much. I even applied to be a Probation Officer shortly after I moved to CT (of course, no callbacks).
On the morning of the interview, I just had a bad feeling in my guts about the interview. I didn't even want to go in the first place. I usually am very eager in going to interviews in hopes of landing a job offer. I arrived at Probation building in New London, CT. I went to the check-in desk and they had me to enter the restricted area to stand & wait for the volunteer coordinator whom I was meeting with (I really didn't mind sitting in the waiting room with other probationers).
Once the volunteer coordinator came down to grab me, we walked upstairs to her office. I was using the paper & pen method for communication (that's what I have been using on all interviews) so I had a paper with written message already ready to show her. I showed her the paper which started with the introduction of my name, told her that I am deaf and how I would like for us to write things down explaining that I WILL get overwhelmed from lip reading with all the new information. The lady looked at me with a big hesitance like it was such a hard task to write back and forth. She mentioned an interpreter. I said that it will take a while for one to show up at last minute notice (I don't think it even was possible to get one that last minute anyways which we would have to reschedule the interview which I did not want) and how I have gone without interpreters a few time at my internship with Monroe County Probation in NY.
She refused to write back to me and began to talk to me. I did my best to lip read her. She said that she was suppose to read questions off this paper that she had in her hands to me for me to answer but instead she gave me the paper itself to fill it out. It was two pages long with the common interview-type questions. I was so defeated in my self-esteem from the way she was treating me so I quickly scribbled the answers while thinking how bad I wanted to be out of there. I didn't give the the best answers because I didn't care anymore at that point. Meanwhile, she was on the phone clearly talking about me. I had no idea who she was speaking with. How did I know she was talking about me? I picked up the vibe from her facial expression which she often looked back and forth from me and looking down at her desk (nothing was there). I finished answering the questions and handed over the papers to her. She still spoke on the phone leaving me hanging there for approximately 5 minutes.
Eventually she got off the phone. She started to talk (again, refusing to write) to me about volunteering opportunities, explaining that there was only one left with the courts. She described the position which I didn't get a word of (like I clearly explained to her that I will be overwhelmed to lip read), I only caught the part that she said the position had included a fast paced and tense environment. I had to reply with only knowledge of that last piece of information. How do you do that? I was feeling so stressed. I had asked her a numerous time to repeat what she said by saying "What?". I kept writing all of my replies via paper. She would read it then talk back to me verbally.
I didn't get a word of everything she said about the position in the courts, only that it was fast paced and tense. She had concerns with my deafness that it wouldn't work. Pretty much to me she was literally saying that it wasn't possible for ME because I am deaf. She ended the interview saying that she will call the courts (I THINK?) to talk to them and see what the resolution can be. I kept trying to sell myself to her saying it IS possible for me. I explained how I have experienced the environment of being in courts from being a criminal justice major at RIT. I often attended trials at court house for court observations for SEVERAL classes. I repeated many times that I was able to do it but she kept that facial expression of uncertainty and hesitance. It just was too good to her to believe my own words that I would be able to do it.
I left the building feeling so angry with how she disrespected me by not writing back and forth as I asked. It was very stressful for me to try to grasp her words which I didn't at all. I was so disappointed because I knew leaving there that I would not hear back from them. This was perfect way for me to start networking with the judicial system as I had plans to go to law school in 2013. I even explained that to her about my plans to attend law school. I told her I wanted this.
After the interview, I had plans to go down to Mystic Aquarium to watch the first swim of a baby penguin that I spent the last 3 months watching it grow via web cam on their website. I had plenty time to get there to witness the first swim, but of course due to the nature of the interview - I was too depressed that I went straight home. I spend the rest of the morning feeling really down, tweeting "had the worst interview today. it's definitely the kind day i wish i wasn't deaf", and cried.
Nobody had the right to make me feel like it wasn't possible for me to do a position because of my deafness. It is irritating when people at job interviews ask me questions regarding my deafness because they AREN'T suppose to focus on my disability. They are suppose to focus on my ability to do the job. I am not going to let this incident to happen again anywhere else. It was first (and hopefully the only) bad interview I experienced in my life so it taught me what to do and how to handle that situation for further interviews. I was discriminated because she clearly felt that it wouldn't work for me to be in this position with the courts because of my deafness. The irony of this situation was that the volunteer coordinator lady who interviewed me was a different race from Caucasian which placed her in the minority group with me. I expected better from her, since she was in a minority group which I am sure she experienced discrimination or at least something regarding her race. A member of minority group had discriminated someone else in the minority group.
When I look for jobs or volunteering experiences, I always look for these kind places where there IS diversity. New London County Judicial system (and every court in America) definitely have diversity. My expectations of this place have been defeated. I still hope to get a job within the judicial system in the State of Connecticut so hopefully the RIGHT place will help me to achieve my dreams.
I sent an application to New London judicial system for volunteering opportunity. I got a voice mail on my cell phone from the volunteer coordinator wanting to meet for an interview, which I replied back by e-mail to discuss appointment times. We agreed on May 1st at 10am. Her office was located in the Probation building so it was weird for me to be back in the Probation department after my internship with Monroe County Probation in NY. I was hoping for a volunteering position with the Probation department because I am already familiar with Probation. I also enjoyed my internship with Monroe County Probation so much. I even applied to be a Probation Officer shortly after I moved to CT (of course, no callbacks).
On the morning of the interview, I just had a bad feeling in my guts about the interview. I didn't even want to go in the first place. I usually am very eager in going to interviews in hopes of landing a job offer. I arrived at Probation building in New London, CT. I went to the check-in desk and they had me to enter the restricted area to stand & wait for the volunteer coordinator whom I was meeting with (I really didn't mind sitting in the waiting room with other probationers).
Once the volunteer coordinator came down to grab me, we walked upstairs to her office. I was using the paper & pen method for communication (that's what I have been using on all interviews) so I had a paper with written message already ready to show her. I showed her the paper which started with the introduction of my name, told her that I am deaf and how I would like for us to write things down explaining that I WILL get overwhelmed from lip reading with all the new information. The lady looked at me with a big hesitance like it was such a hard task to write back and forth. She mentioned an interpreter. I said that it will take a while for one to show up at last minute notice (I don't think it even was possible to get one that last minute anyways which we would have to reschedule the interview which I did not want) and how I have gone without interpreters a few time at my internship with Monroe County Probation in NY.
She refused to write back to me and began to talk to me. I did my best to lip read her. She said that she was suppose to read questions off this paper that she had in her hands to me for me to answer but instead she gave me the paper itself to fill it out. It was two pages long with the common interview-type questions. I was so defeated in my self-esteem from the way she was treating me so I quickly scribbled the answers while thinking how bad I wanted to be out of there. I didn't give the the best answers because I didn't care anymore at that point. Meanwhile, she was on the phone clearly talking about me. I had no idea who she was speaking with. How did I know she was talking about me? I picked up the vibe from her facial expression which she often looked back and forth from me and looking down at her desk (nothing was there). I finished answering the questions and handed over the papers to her. She still spoke on the phone leaving me hanging there for approximately 5 minutes.
Eventually she got off the phone. She started to talk (again, refusing to write) to me about volunteering opportunities, explaining that there was only one left with the courts. She described the position which I didn't get a word of (like I clearly explained to her that I will be overwhelmed to lip read), I only caught the part that she said the position had included a fast paced and tense environment. I had to reply with only knowledge of that last piece of information. How do you do that? I was feeling so stressed. I had asked her a numerous time to repeat what she said by saying "What?". I kept writing all of my replies via paper. She would read it then talk back to me verbally.
I didn't get a word of everything she said about the position in the courts, only that it was fast paced and tense. She had concerns with my deafness that it wouldn't work. Pretty much to me she was literally saying that it wasn't possible for ME because I am deaf. She ended the interview saying that she will call the courts (I THINK?) to talk to them and see what the resolution can be. I kept trying to sell myself to her saying it IS possible for me. I explained how I have experienced the environment of being in courts from being a criminal justice major at RIT. I often attended trials at court house for court observations for SEVERAL classes. I repeated many times that I was able to do it but she kept that facial expression of uncertainty and hesitance. It just was too good to her to believe my own words that I would be able to do it.
I left the building feeling so angry with how she disrespected me by not writing back and forth as I asked. It was very stressful for me to try to grasp her words which I didn't at all. I was so disappointed because I knew leaving there that I would not hear back from them. This was perfect way for me to start networking with the judicial system as I had plans to go to law school in 2013. I even explained that to her about my plans to attend law school. I told her I wanted this.
After the interview, I had plans to go down to Mystic Aquarium to watch the first swim of a baby penguin that I spent the last 3 months watching it grow via web cam on their website. I had plenty time to get there to witness the first swim, but of course due to the nature of the interview - I was too depressed that I went straight home. I spend the rest of the morning feeling really down, tweeting "had the worst interview today. it's definitely the kind day i wish i wasn't deaf", and cried.
Nobody had the right to make me feel like it wasn't possible for me to do a position because of my deafness. It is irritating when people at job interviews ask me questions regarding my deafness because they AREN'T suppose to focus on my disability. They are suppose to focus on my ability to do the job. I am not going to let this incident to happen again anywhere else. It was first (and hopefully the only) bad interview I experienced in my life so it taught me what to do and how to handle that situation for further interviews. I was discriminated because she clearly felt that it wouldn't work for me to be in this position with the courts because of my deafness. The irony of this situation was that the volunteer coordinator lady who interviewed me was a different race from Caucasian which placed her in the minority group with me. I expected better from her, since she was in a minority group which I am sure she experienced discrimination or at least something regarding her race. A member of minority group had discriminated someone else in the minority group.
When I look for jobs or volunteering experiences, I always look for these kind places where there IS diversity. New London County Judicial system (and every court in America) definitely have diversity. My expectations of this place have been defeated. I still hope to get a job within the judicial system in the State of Connecticut so hopefully the RIGHT place will help me to achieve my dreams.
8.5.12
Parenting a deaf child
My boyfriend and I went shopping at the mall about 2 months ago where I ran into a new parent of a deaf child. She was employed at Gap store as she cashed out my purchase. She had noticed my boyfriend and I signing to each other so she asked me (via my boyfriend) how long I have known sign language. I found the question awkward but I replied that I am deaf so I have known it for a long time. She then explained that she has a hearing impaired son who is 9 months (at the time of the encounter). The cashier had asked us a lot questions regarding deafness, schools, sign language, etc. which I eventually picked up the vibe that she is VERY nervous about being a new parent of a deaf child.
It took me back to the memory that I had of asking my parents about their reaction to me being deaf. As a child or teen, I asked my parents how they felt when they found out that I was deaf. They had replied that they had mixed emotions such as shock, scared, even devastated. I was surprised by that answer, I didn't understand at the time why it sounded like a tragedy to have a deaf child. To me, that's like parents being devastated that the blonde hair child they have always wanted turned out to be a brown hair child. Being deaf was already the norm for me, I didn't see anything different about it.
Meeting the new parent of a deaf child immediately gave me that flashback. I had finally understood now. I saw the fear, worry, and concern in her eyes as she was talking about her son. She had no idea what to do with him regarding school, hearing aids, cochlear implants, etc. It was difficult maintaining a straight face when I wanted to cry with her. I realized that she had a huge burden on her shoulder to decide the identity of her deaf child for next 18 years (or teen years).
I have blogged about many identities that exist in the deaf world. How do new parents know what their deaf child want their identity to be? My parents didn't know what I would want to be at the age of 18 when I was a baby, but they had to make that decision of what I should have in life. It is never too late to change identity as I have seen many students at RIT that changed their identities once they got to college. Some deaf people have grew up with major confusion through out their lives as of what their identities are. I wasn't aware of identity until college, so through out my life I didn't stress about what identity I should be until I came to RIT. I had a long time of conflicting feelings about my identity during my college years, even considered cochlear implants for a long time. In my last year of college, I have accepted the identity that I originally grew up with with much more comfortableness of the deafness. I cannot imagine being in the shoes of a new parent to decide what identity to give their deaf child.
Growing up deaf is already the norm for me, but it never had occur to me about the burdens of some decisions in lives. If I give birth to a deaf child, obviously I will be prepared as I am deaf, right? Nope. I may like the identity that I have, but it doesn't mean if I give that identity to my deaf child that they will like it too. A deaf parent also have that burden of deciding what identity. In a way, I would be more prepared to raise a deaf child than hearing parents as I know what life is like as a deaf person. I can help them with exploring their identity through out their life, exposing them to deaf world, and being able to understand them on the same level when hearing parents may have never been aware of deaf world in the first place. My parents never been exposed to deaf world or deaf people before I was born. I am already exposed to deaf world so I know what it is like for my deaf child but my parents and I would have one thing in common, which is deciding that identity.
It can be a HUGE and very DIFFICULT process in making the decision. I am very proud of my parents for what they have decided for me before I had a voice. I am proud of who I am. I love me for who I am. I wouldn't be the person I am today without my parents (as well many other people in my life). Thank you, Mom & Dad.
It took me back to the memory that I had of asking my parents about their reaction to me being deaf. As a child or teen, I asked my parents how they felt when they found out that I was deaf. They had replied that they had mixed emotions such as shock, scared, even devastated. I was surprised by that answer, I didn't understand at the time why it sounded like a tragedy to have a deaf child. To me, that's like parents being devastated that the blonde hair child they have always wanted turned out to be a brown hair child. Being deaf was already the norm for me, I didn't see anything different about it.
Meeting the new parent of a deaf child immediately gave me that flashback. I had finally understood now. I saw the fear, worry, and concern in her eyes as she was talking about her son. She had no idea what to do with him regarding school, hearing aids, cochlear implants, etc. It was difficult maintaining a straight face when I wanted to cry with her. I realized that she had a huge burden on her shoulder to decide the identity of her deaf child for next 18 years (or teen years).
I have blogged about many identities that exist in the deaf world. How do new parents know what their deaf child want their identity to be? My parents didn't know what I would want to be at the age of 18 when I was a baby, but they had to make that decision of what I should have in life. It is never too late to change identity as I have seen many students at RIT that changed their identities once they got to college. Some deaf people have grew up with major confusion through out their lives as of what their identities are. I wasn't aware of identity until college, so through out my life I didn't stress about what identity I should be until I came to RIT. I had a long time of conflicting feelings about my identity during my college years, even considered cochlear implants for a long time. In my last year of college, I have accepted the identity that I originally grew up with with much more comfortableness of the deafness. I cannot imagine being in the shoes of a new parent to decide what identity to give their deaf child.
Growing up deaf is already the norm for me, but it never had occur to me about the burdens of some decisions in lives. If I give birth to a deaf child, obviously I will be prepared as I am deaf, right? Nope. I may like the identity that I have, but it doesn't mean if I give that identity to my deaf child that they will like it too. A deaf parent also have that burden of deciding what identity. In a way, I would be more prepared to raise a deaf child than hearing parents as I know what life is like as a deaf person. I can help them with exploring their identity through out their life, exposing them to deaf world, and being able to understand them on the same level when hearing parents may have never been aware of deaf world in the first place. My parents never been exposed to deaf world or deaf people before I was born. I am already exposed to deaf world so I know what it is like for my deaf child but my parents and I would have one thing in common, which is deciding that identity.
It can be a HUGE and very DIFFICULT process in making the decision. I am very proud of my parents for what they have decided for me before I had a voice. I am proud of who I am. I love me for who I am. I wouldn't be the person I am today without my parents (as well many other people in my life). Thank you, Mom & Dad.
3.4.12
Advantage of Using Relay on April's Fool Day
A transcript of my April's Fool prank on my mom (and unexpectedly, my dad too). The Sprint Relay operator is a male so my parents were thinking it was a male calling them for whatever reason when in reality I was the one typing every thing for the operator to say to them (Operator's role was to interpret).
Relay terms:
Ga - Go Ahead
SK - Hang up
----
(Me): Please do not use the Sprint Relay introduction.
(Operator): SPRINT IP XXXXM DIALING XXX-XXX-XXXX RINGING 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... 4 ... 5 ...
(F) Hello? ga
(Operator): hold a moment please.
(F) no i won't hold a moment, who's this?
(Operator): hold a moment.
(F) no i won't hold a moment, it's already past my bedtime!
***The operator had to tell my mom to hold on as I typed which took a minute***
(Me): Hello, is this (Mother's name)? (F interrupting): you tell me who this is! (Me continuing): This is Officer (Fake name) with Connecticut State Trooper. I just have pulled over your daughter, and she doesn't have the car registration with her. She is saying that your husband may have the paperwork of the car registration, ma'am ga
(F): okay just a minute please ...
***My mom passed the phone over to my dad, then she went back in the living room where she was chatting with my younger brother. She was freaking out about her attitude (the call occurred late at night) which she thought for sure that the "Officer" would give me a speeding ticket.***
(M) hello? ga
(Me): Hello is this (Father's name)? I am Officer (Fake name) with CT State Trooper. I just pulled over your daughter for speeding and she doesn't have the registration on her which I believe you may have the vehicle registration paperwork? ga
(M): yes .. ga
(Me): April's fool, it's Kelly using Sprint Relay ga
(M): (laughing) thats a good one kel ga
(Me): Thought so, good night love you both bye ga to sk
(M): love you goodbye (PERSON HUNG UP)
(Operator): i will need to take a 5 minutes break to stop laughing (smile) SK SK
----
Hope your April's Fool Day was funny too!
Relay terms:
Ga - Go Ahead
SK - Hang up
----
(Me): Please do not use the Sprint Relay introduction.
(Operator): SPRINT IP XXXXM DIALING XXX-XXX-XXXX RINGING 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... 4 ... 5 ...
(F) Hello? ga
(Operator): hold a moment please.
(F) no i won't hold a moment, who's this?
(Operator): hold a moment.
(F) no i won't hold a moment, it's already past my bedtime!
***The operator had to tell my mom to hold on as I typed which took a minute***
(Me): Hello, is this (Mother's name)? (F interrupting): you tell me who this is! (Me continuing): This is Officer (Fake name) with Connecticut State Trooper. I just have pulled over your daughter, and she doesn't have the car registration with her. She is saying that your husband may have the paperwork of the car registration, ma'am ga
(F): okay just a minute please ...
***My mom passed the phone over to my dad, then she went back in the living room where she was chatting with my younger brother. She was freaking out about her attitude (the call occurred late at night) which she thought for sure that the "Officer" would give me a speeding ticket.***
(M) hello? ga
(Me): Hello is this (Father's name)? I am Officer (Fake name) with CT State Trooper. I just pulled over your daughter for speeding and she doesn't have the registration on her which I believe you may have the vehicle registration paperwork? ga
(M): yes .. ga
(Me): April's fool, it's Kelly using Sprint Relay ga
(M): (laughing) thats a good one kel ga
(Me): Thought so, good night love you both bye ga to sk
(M): love you goodbye (PERSON HUNG UP)
(Operator): i will need to take a 5 minutes break to stop laughing (smile) SK SK
----
Hope your April's Fool Day was funny too!
24.2.12
Sophomore '08
I promised a blog about my sophomore year of college. To refresh your memory:
http://behinddeafeyes.blogspot.com/2010/07/fresh-meat-07.html
My first year at RIT was like taking a roller coaster ride. I was trying to find myself. Last paragraph in the blog described my fears with the deaf community which I disconnected myself from that world in the last quarter (Spring). I left my first year at RIT for summer in Upstate NY back to hearing world.
That summer of 2008 was one of the best summers I had. I finally had a group of hearing friends which I hung out with almost the entire summer. I had a summer boyfriend. I worked in a classroom with deaf students. I got my first car. Reunited with my family.
It was interesting how that job in the deaf classroom was unexpected. Seeing those younger deaf students often gave me flashbacks to my childhood days. I recalled that I didn't know how different I was until I was 11 years old. I was the happiest girl before that, and I changed when I realized what my life was about to be like. Now, I'm having difficulty with choosing where to belong in Rochester. Those kids made me think a lot about where to put my foot down. What identity do I want?
Returning to college for round two was even more difficult than first year. I isolated myself a lot in fall quarter and felt so unhappy. I drove home every weekend to be with my family. I felt the happiest at home. I felt that I was a commuter student, going up to Rochester on Mondays, going to classes during the week then home on Thursdays. Looking back at this, I have definitely missed out a lot on college life. I do not have regrets because that's what truly made me happy - to be at home. When I returned to RIT after Thanksgiving break, I started the first week of my 2nd quarter (Winter). I was unfocused and unmotivated to continue at RIT. I made the decision to take a leave of absence.
I returned home to Upstate NY which during that time, I was figuring out myself again. I transferred to Corning Community College in Corning, NY to get an associate degree in liberal arts. Only I never showed up to register for courses. It was too late once the first day of second semester at Corning came and went. I was unsure of what I wanted in my life, which was one of the reasons for the leave of absence. I needed that time to be healthy, find myself, figure out what I want, explore my options, and be happy again.
Eventually, I made the decision to return to RIT for Spring quarter. I don't remember why I decided to go back. I just remember being bored at home with no job or school to go to every day. When I went back to RIT, I moved in a dorm room which I had to myself so I isolated myself all hours except when I had to go to classes. I still disconnected myself from the deaf world. I still went home to Upstate NY every weekend.
In fact, that Spring quarter I applied to another university. I got accepted to transfer to Mansfield University in Mansfield, PA. I applied to MU for two reasons. It was close to home. I need reassurance that I could get into another college than RIT. I felt like I was put on one-way track to apply to RIT & only got in there because I was deaf. MU accepting me made me excited. I considered all options whether I should go through with it. The term would start in Fall 2009. I would like to leave you all on a cliffhanger to what college I choose but I have already blogged about Rochester & graduation from RIT. I did indeed choose to remain at RIT. The biggest consideration in my decision making was the deaf community and my love for the Criminal Justice department at RIT. The faculty in CJ department was the most excellent professors I could ever come across. I loved them too much to leave. I knew I wouldn't get any better support (interpreter, notetaker, etc.) that I had at RIT anywhere else as well.
I had a non existing college life that year. I do not have regrets. It was the roughest year I had in college and it was the best for me to be around family who supported me through everything. It was a tough decision to take the leave of absence, but I knew that I needed that time to myself. It wasn't doing any good for me to remain in Rochester being so unhappy.
Summer 2009/Junior year coming to you soon!
http://behinddeafeyes.blogspot.com/2010/07/fresh-meat-07.html
My first year at RIT was like taking a roller coaster ride. I was trying to find myself. Last paragraph in the blog described my fears with the deaf community which I disconnected myself from that world in the last quarter (Spring). I left my first year at RIT for summer in Upstate NY back to hearing world.
That summer of 2008 was one of the best summers I had. I finally had a group of hearing friends which I hung out with almost the entire summer. I had a summer boyfriend. I worked in a classroom with deaf students. I got my first car. Reunited with my family.
It was interesting how that job in the deaf classroom was unexpected. Seeing those younger deaf students often gave me flashbacks to my childhood days. I recalled that I didn't know how different I was until I was 11 years old. I was the happiest girl before that, and I changed when I realized what my life was about to be like. Now, I'm having difficulty with choosing where to belong in Rochester. Those kids made me think a lot about where to put my foot down. What identity do I want?
Returning to college for round two was even more difficult than first year. I isolated myself a lot in fall quarter and felt so unhappy. I drove home every weekend to be with my family. I felt the happiest at home. I felt that I was a commuter student, going up to Rochester on Mondays, going to classes during the week then home on Thursdays. Looking back at this, I have definitely missed out a lot on college life. I do not have regrets because that's what truly made me happy - to be at home. When I returned to RIT after Thanksgiving break, I started the first week of my 2nd quarter (Winter). I was unfocused and unmotivated to continue at RIT. I made the decision to take a leave of absence.
I returned home to Upstate NY which during that time, I was figuring out myself again. I transferred to Corning Community College in Corning, NY to get an associate degree in liberal arts. Only I never showed up to register for courses. It was too late once the first day of second semester at Corning came and went. I was unsure of what I wanted in my life, which was one of the reasons for the leave of absence. I needed that time to be healthy, find myself, figure out what I want, explore my options, and be happy again.
Eventually, I made the decision to return to RIT for Spring quarter. I don't remember why I decided to go back. I just remember being bored at home with no job or school to go to every day. When I went back to RIT, I moved in a dorm room which I had to myself so I isolated myself all hours except when I had to go to classes. I still disconnected myself from the deaf world. I still went home to Upstate NY every weekend.
In fact, that Spring quarter I applied to another university. I got accepted to transfer to Mansfield University in Mansfield, PA. I applied to MU for two reasons. It was close to home. I need reassurance that I could get into another college than RIT. I felt like I was put on one-way track to apply to RIT & only got in there because I was deaf. MU accepting me made me excited. I considered all options whether I should go through with it. The term would start in Fall 2009. I would like to leave you all on a cliffhanger to what college I choose but I have already blogged about Rochester & graduation from RIT. I did indeed choose to remain at RIT. The biggest consideration in my decision making was the deaf community and my love for the Criminal Justice department at RIT. The faculty in CJ department was the most excellent professors I could ever come across. I loved them too much to leave. I knew I wouldn't get any better support (interpreter, notetaker, etc.) that I had at RIT anywhere else as well.
I had a non existing college life that year. I do not have regrets. It was the roughest year I had in college and it was the best for me to be around family who supported me through everything. It was a tough decision to take the leave of absence, but I knew that I needed that time to myself. It wasn't doing any good for me to remain in Rochester being so unhappy.
Summer 2009/Junior year coming to you soon!
23.2.12
"Can you lip read?"
Some people have been questioning about approaches with meeting deaf people. While it is a difficult challenge for me to open up to new hearing people, I do my best to make them comfortable around me. I like meeting new people, as well teach people who are not familiar about the deaf culture. I am residing in Connecticut in an area with no deaf community like the one I grew to love in Rochester. I am faced with the challenges of meeting new people again. It’s a weird feeling because I didn’t have to worry about that for the last four years. In those four years, it wasn’t difficult to make friends who had same communication methods and similar understanding of living as a deaf individual.
In Connecticut, I am struggling to find a deaf community around here or at least some deaf friends. I am also struggling in befriending with new hearing people. I'm not facing the same challenges of a hearing person meeting people in the new location. It may take not long for them to make new friends. In meeting new people, I have to say that I am the most motivated to develop friendships with people express interest in communicating with me via sign language.
However, I am not saying that people are required to learn sign language to be friends with deaf people. There is the old traditional method of paper and pen. If you are high tech, you can type out on notepads or blank text on your mobile screen & show it to a deaf person. You also can sometime be lucky if the deaf person has a hearing person with them that would be able to interpret (i.e. my boyfriend can interpret for me).
A common question that I get all the time is "Can you lip read?" *WARNING* Some deaf people can lip read, not all of them through! I am one of those who can lip read but it takes a while for me to understand EVERYONE. Do not depend on deaf person to lip read - they still will be missing out on some words.
I do highly recommend that if you want to maintain an effective friendship with a deaf individual to learn sign language. There is a huge difference in a friendship depending on the communication methods. Conversations only through paper/pen compared to conversations via sign language. In paper/pen method, details are often left out. Nobody has fun to continue writing every word of a conversation with hand cramps. Communicating via sign language will allow the deaf individual to express as much they like to. My preferred communication method is using sign language to develop friendships.
I personally have felt frustration when I meet new people who don’t put in the efforts to somehow communicate with me. When I get very frustrated, I most often give up on those who do not put in the same efforts as I am in communicating. It gives me the feeling that they don’t care enough. But, I can tell you that it will make a deaf person’s day when they go out in the public to bump into people who express interest in deaf culture or show off some sign language skills. It grabs my attention towards them, and I feel motivated to communicate with them. An example of an incident would include the gathering I recently went to play the game of Apples-to-Apples where I was the only deaf person there. Some people brought up questions regarding my deafness. I immediately opened up to them and gave them as much details I could via interpreter (my boyfriend). I felt really excited that they showed interest and it gives me hopes to develop friendships with them down the road.
Even the littlest things make me excited such as signing “Thank-you”. When I go to the stores, there have been times when the cashiers picked up on my deafness from seeing me using sign language or my “Deaf accent” which they would sign “Thank you” to me as I was leaving the store. That isn’t even a minute long conversation but it thrills me when people put in the effort to do things like that. Every time that happens, it makes my day ... when I run into people like that, so if you are one of them, don’t be shy to show off some sign language skills! :)
In Connecticut, I am struggling to find a deaf community around here or at least some deaf friends. I am also struggling in befriending with new hearing people. I'm not facing the same challenges of a hearing person meeting people in the new location. It may take not long for them to make new friends. In meeting new people, I have to say that I am the most motivated to develop friendships with people express interest in communicating with me via sign language.
However, I am not saying that people are required to learn sign language to be friends with deaf people. There is the old traditional method of paper and pen. If you are high tech, you can type out on notepads or blank text on your mobile screen & show it to a deaf person. You also can sometime be lucky if the deaf person has a hearing person with them that would be able to interpret (i.e. my boyfriend can interpret for me).
A common question that I get all the time is "Can you lip read?" *WARNING* Some deaf people can lip read, not all of them through! I am one of those who can lip read but it takes a while for me to understand EVERYONE. Do not depend on deaf person to lip read - they still will be missing out on some words.
I do highly recommend that if you want to maintain an effective friendship with a deaf individual to learn sign language. There is a huge difference in a friendship depending on the communication methods. Conversations only through paper/pen compared to conversations via sign language. In paper/pen method, details are often left out. Nobody has fun to continue writing every word of a conversation with hand cramps. Communicating via sign language will allow the deaf individual to express as much they like to. My preferred communication method is using sign language to develop friendships.
I personally have felt frustration when I meet new people who don’t put in the efforts to somehow communicate with me. When I get very frustrated, I most often give up on those who do not put in the same efforts as I am in communicating. It gives me the feeling that they don’t care enough. But, I can tell you that it will make a deaf person’s day when they go out in the public to bump into people who express interest in deaf culture or show off some sign language skills. It grabs my attention towards them, and I feel motivated to communicate with them. An example of an incident would include the gathering I recently went to play the game of Apples-to-Apples where I was the only deaf person there. Some people brought up questions regarding my deafness. I immediately opened up to them and gave them as much details I could via interpreter (my boyfriend). I felt really excited that they showed interest and it gives me hopes to develop friendships with them down the road.
Even the littlest things make me excited such as signing “Thank-you”. When I go to the stores, there have been times when the cashiers picked up on my deafness from seeing me using sign language or my “Deaf accent” which they would sign “Thank you” to me as I was leaving the store. That isn’t even a minute long conversation but it thrills me when people put in the effort to do things like that. Every time that happens, it makes my day ... when I run into people like that, so if you are one of them, don’t be shy to show off some sign language skills! :)
22.2.12
Deaf in the Media
Several people have been asking me lately what my opinions were about deaf in tv shows/movies in the past year.
Marlee Matlin made an appearance on the show "Dancing with the Stars" in 2008 then Donald Trump's tv show "Celebrity Apprentice" in early 2010. Even through, she already been a celebrity for a long time as she won awards for her acting role in the movie, "Children of a Lesser God" (great movie!) back in late 1980's, but I feel that her recent appearances on those two shows have grabbed the attention of the world towards deafness.
It seems like deafness have been spreading awareness via media more often lately. I am very glad about that, as I think people should have an idea of the deaf community.
I recently saw a movie on Lifetime Channel called "Listen to Your Heart" (2010). It was about a hearing male who is a singer falling in love with a deaf girl. In this movie, the deaf girl only used ASL with no voice. In the beginning of the singer & deaf girl's relationship, there had been similar beginning of my relationship with my hearing boyfriend regarding communication. They started out with writing. Eventually, the singer learned some sign language. The only difference was that I use my voice, and the girl didn't. I like this concept of the hearing-and-deaf relationship in that movie since I am living that experience right now. Otherwise, the representation of the deaf girl didn't impress me too much since that wasn't who I was, however, there are deaf people out there that is like her. That's just one example of the variety of deaf people that exist in the world.
You may see more variety on ABC Family channel's show "Switched at Birth". This show is about two high school girls who were switched by accident at the time of their births at the hospital, which one of the girl had been deaf. I was worried when this show first came out that it would be a dramatic show for teens. I was wrong. This show is good for family audience in my opinion. In this show, the deaf girl attends a deaf institute. She had a male deaf best friend who has deaf parents. There was variety of deaf people in the show. The deaf girl is displayed on the show to be in both worlds of hearing and deaf. She attends a school for the deaf, but she lives at home with hearing family. She is mainstreamed like I am. The show also have been nailing on the deaf culture. In every show, there is an aspect of many challenges that deaf people face daily in their lives. For example, I'm going to use the deaf-and-hearing relationship again, the deaf male best friend is in a relationship with a hearing girl. There are frustrations of communication, understanding, respecting the boundaries of deaf person, etc. in the relationship which was clearly emphasized on the tv show. I am very impressed with "Switched at Birth" so far, and it is one of my favorite shows to watch every week. It also is the closest thing I have right now to the deaf world (Miss you Rochester!).
I suggest that everybody should watch "Switched at Birth" to learn the deaf culture & it does have a lot teaching methods of how to communicate with deaf people. I like that the show is entertaining people but at same time it has hidden messages related to deaf culture. I strongly feel that this show is spreading the awareness of deafness since it is on television every week on a popular channel.
This past October (2011), there was a movie released called "The Hammer". It is a biographical movie about first deaf wrestler to win National Collegiate Wrestling Championship. The deaf wrestler, Matt Hamill is also known for fighting professionally for UFC before retiring. Also, guess what? The deaf wrestler is an alumni of my college - RIT! Go RIT Tigers! The movie was filmed at RIT campus as well several other locations. This is a very deaf based movie. The part of his time at RIT shows EXACTLY what the deaf community at RIT was like. If you want a glimpse of my RIT life, just watch the movie.
Overall, the movie was based on a deaf person which I was able to relate to. Our deaf experiences are very much similar. Prior to attending RIT, Matt Hamill's communication method included lip reading & speaking with his voice. He learned more ASL once he was at RIT. I had the same experience which I definitely learned most of my sign language skills at RIT. We attended RIT so we have the same understanding of the deaf community in Rochester. He came from a hearing family, which I did too. We both are a lot alike in these area of experiences. I highly recommend that everyone watch the movie "The Hammer". You can purchase DVD copies in stores or online right now!
I am very proud to see deaf in the media to spread awareness & teach people about deafness/deaf culture after all there are a million deaf people existing in the world.
Marlee Matlin made an appearance on the show "Dancing with the Stars" in 2008 then Donald Trump's tv show "Celebrity Apprentice" in early 2010. Even through, she already been a celebrity for a long time as she won awards for her acting role in the movie, "Children of a Lesser God" (great movie!) back in late 1980's, but I feel that her recent appearances on those two shows have grabbed the attention of the world towards deafness.
It seems like deafness have been spreading awareness via media more often lately. I am very glad about that, as I think people should have an idea of the deaf community.
I recently saw a movie on Lifetime Channel called "Listen to Your Heart" (2010). It was about a hearing male who is a singer falling in love with a deaf girl. In this movie, the deaf girl only used ASL with no voice. In the beginning of the singer & deaf girl's relationship, there had been similar beginning of my relationship with my hearing boyfriend regarding communication. They started out with writing. Eventually, the singer learned some sign language. The only difference was that I use my voice, and the girl didn't. I like this concept of the hearing-and-deaf relationship in that movie since I am living that experience right now. Otherwise, the representation of the deaf girl didn't impress me too much since that wasn't who I was, however, there are deaf people out there that is like her. That's just one example of the variety of deaf people that exist in the world.
You may see more variety on ABC Family channel's show "Switched at Birth". This show is about two high school girls who were switched by accident at the time of their births at the hospital, which one of the girl had been deaf. I was worried when this show first came out that it would be a dramatic show for teens. I was wrong. This show is good for family audience in my opinion. In this show, the deaf girl attends a deaf institute. She had a male deaf best friend who has deaf parents. There was variety of deaf people in the show. The deaf girl is displayed on the show to be in both worlds of hearing and deaf. She attends a school for the deaf, but she lives at home with hearing family. She is mainstreamed like I am. The show also have been nailing on the deaf culture. In every show, there is an aspect of many challenges that deaf people face daily in their lives. For example, I'm going to use the deaf-and-hearing relationship again, the deaf male best friend is in a relationship with a hearing girl. There are frustrations of communication, understanding, respecting the boundaries of deaf person, etc. in the relationship which was clearly emphasized on the tv show. I am very impressed with "Switched at Birth" so far, and it is one of my favorite shows to watch every week. It also is the closest thing I have right now to the deaf world (Miss you Rochester!).
I suggest that everybody should watch "Switched at Birth" to learn the deaf culture & it does have a lot teaching methods of how to communicate with deaf people. I like that the show is entertaining people but at same time it has hidden messages related to deaf culture. I strongly feel that this show is spreading the awareness of deafness since it is on television every week on a popular channel.
This past October (2011), there was a movie released called "The Hammer". It is a biographical movie about first deaf wrestler to win National Collegiate Wrestling Championship. The deaf wrestler, Matt Hamill is also known for fighting professionally for UFC before retiring. Also, guess what? The deaf wrestler is an alumni of my college - RIT! Go RIT Tigers! The movie was filmed at RIT campus as well several other locations. This is a very deaf based movie. The part of his time at RIT shows EXACTLY what the deaf community at RIT was like. If you want a glimpse of my RIT life, just watch the movie.
Overall, the movie was based on a deaf person which I was able to relate to. Our deaf experiences are very much similar. Prior to attending RIT, Matt Hamill's communication method included lip reading & speaking with his voice. He learned more ASL once he was at RIT. I had the same experience which I definitely learned most of my sign language skills at RIT. We attended RIT so we have the same understanding of the deaf community in Rochester. He came from a hearing family, which I did too. We both are a lot alike in these area of experiences. I highly recommend that everyone watch the movie "The Hammer". You can purchase DVD copies in stores or online right now!
I am very proud to see deaf in the media to spread awareness & teach people about deafness/deaf culture after all there are a million deaf people existing in the world.
4.1.12
Mirror reflection of myself
Happy 2012 to everyone, and welcome to my first blog of 2012.
My holiday season in Upstate NY was fun filled being with my family and relatives. I wish it could have been longer! I hope that your holiday season were as good.
On Christmas Eve, there was a guest that attended my family's gathering which was a mirror reflection of myself. Only a Japanese version. Let me explain, a family friend have been working in Japan for his company which is based in Upstate NY which he apparently brought home a Japanese girlfriend. She spoke with a broken English accent. While figuring how they communicated, apparently he spoke some Japanese to her. It was interesting to see a couple that was similar to my boyfriend and I. He learned some Japanese, so he spoke what he knew to the girlfriend and the girlfriend learned some English as she had spoke in a broken English accent. There was several times when he had to interpret for my English speaking relatives for her. Just like my boyfriend and I. We both know English, but he still had to learn ASL to communicate with me. I try to use my voice to talk to him to have him understand me. He had to interpret for me with non ASL signers like his family, co-workers, friends.
Seeing the Japanese guest at my family's Christmas Eve was a weird experience. It was my first time experiencing something like that. I caught the family friend talking in a fast paced English with like three of my uncles, while she stood behind him with the expression of being lost in her face. She didn't know what they were talking about. The men burst out in hard laughter, and she put on a fake laugh to blend in. I knew EXACTLY what she was feeling.
I was taken back, as I didn't think that what deaf people experience could be so alike to what people who speak a foreign language experience in socializing with English speaking people. I just didn't think of it. I have seen many other language speakers in New York City several times, but it never occurred to me what experiences they have. Which can be a lot alike to the deaf community experiences. It was a first time to have a foreigner up close socializing among me.
Even through I never talked to her, we still have that bond. The bond of sharing the same experiences of dating a person who relies strongly on speaking English. I know that I know English too, but I don't have people that always understand me because of my "deaf accent". Many deaf people have a "deaf accent", which could be a whole new language with million of deaf people existing in the world.
This experience showed me that deaf people aren't alone. There are million other people out there in the world that can relate to our experiences.
Just as I thought I was alone at that Christmas Eve party, I wasn't.
My holiday season in Upstate NY was fun filled being with my family and relatives. I wish it could have been longer! I hope that your holiday season were as good.
On Christmas Eve, there was a guest that attended my family's gathering which was a mirror reflection of myself. Only a Japanese version. Let me explain, a family friend have been working in Japan for his company which is based in Upstate NY which he apparently brought home a Japanese girlfriend. She spoke with a broken English accent. While figuring how they communicated, apparently he spoke some Japanese to her. It was interesting to see a couple that was similar to my boyfriend and I. He learned some Japanese, so he spoke what he knew to the girlfriend and the girlfriend learned some English as she had spoke in a broken English accent. There was several times when he had to interpret for my English speaking relatives for her. Just like my boyfriend and I. We both know English, but he still had to learn ASL to communicate with me. I try to use my voice to talk to him to have him understand me. He had to interpret for me with non ASL signers like his family, co-workers, friends.
Seeing the Japanese guest at my family's Christmas Eve was a weird experience. It was my first time experiencing something like that. I caught the family friend talking in a fast paced English with like three of my uncles, while she stood behind him with the expression of being lost in her face. She didn't know what they were talking about. The men burst out in hard laughter, and she put on a fake laugh to blend in. I knew EXACTLY what she was feeling.
I was taken back, as I didn't think that what deaf people experience could be so alike to what people who speak a foreign language experience in socializing with English speaking people. I just didn't think of it. I have seen many other language speakers in New York City several times, but it never occurred to me what experiences they have. Which can be a lot alike to the deaf community experiences. It was a first time to have a foreigner up close socializing among me.
Even through I never talked to her, we still have that bond. The bond of sharing the same experiences of dating a person who relies strongly on speaking English. I know that I know English too, but I don't have people that always understand me because of my "deaf accent". Many deaf people have a "deaf accent", which could be a whole new language with million of deaf people existing in the world.
This experience showed me that deaf people aren't alone. There are million other people out there in the world that can relate to our experiences.
Just as I thought I was alone at that Christmas Eve party, I wasn't.
19.12.11
Internship with Probation
My blog from July 2011 titled "Interviews" was about my interview experiences in finding an internship in Western NY. I decided to work with probation department since it would help me further in the career path of correctional services. I started my first day at probation in early September until November. Without regrets, the job with probation was the best experience I could asked for.
My mentor was a huge factor in me gaining this experience with probation. She is an amazing mentor because she stressed over me getting every possible experience of probation by learning about everything. She made sure that I didn't miss out on anything which I sure did learn a lot. Of the experiences that I gained from the internship at probation, my mentor inspired me to seek a full time job position as a probation officer in the area where I currently am living in.
What's irony about me actively seeking a probation officer position is the fact that before & even during my internship with probation, I didn't want to work for probation in the future. So I thought. I didn't realize that I'd be inspired and learning so much about probation department. This is what I want to do. It has both aspects of criminal justice and helping others. Probation officers are very under appreciated, but I saw the passion from some probation officers to continue helping others. That's what I plan to do. I know that I do have that same passion to help others, I always have. The internship helped me to see that even more.
It was very difficult for me to leave the internship because I gained so much confidence, knowledge & learning about myself and what probation was all about. I enjoyed the environment there, most people I came across were friendly, and I was very comfortable there. I would love to have a full time job at that specific probation department, but the man that I am in love with doesn't live in Western NY. I am glad to leave the state of New York knowing more about probation, and inspiring me to job hunt for that position. Even if I do not get a job with probation department, I still hope to return to that career at some point in my life.
Some of you may be wondering about communication during my internship. As I mentioned that the interview with the probation department was conducted via paper-and-pen method. I still use that method sometimes during my internship with co-workers. I also was able to lip read my mentor (only her, not other co-workers or probationers tho) without a problem. I also had interpreters that came in most of time. They interpreted for the meetings, lectures, etc. which helped me even more to not miss out on things. I am very grateful for the interpreters. I was surprised to find myself so comfortable in this environment as the only deaf person enough to want to work with the probation department for rest of my life. I am glad that I was that comfortable enough there which gives me hope to find that comfortableness again in my future job.
My mentor was a huge factor in me gaining this experience with probation. She is an amazing mentor because she stressed over me getting every possible experience of probation by learning about everything. She made sure that I didn't miss out on anything which I sure did learn a lot. Of the experiences that I gained from the internship at probation, my mentor inspired me to seek a full time job position as a probation officer in the area where I currently am living in.
What's irony about me actively seeking a probation officer position is the fact that before & even during my internship with probation, I didn't want to work for probation in the future. So I thought. I didn't realize that I'd be inspired and learning so much about probation department. This is what I want to do. It has both aspects of criminal justice and helping others. Probation officers are very under appreciated, but I saw the passion from some probation officers to continue helping others. That's what I plan to do. I know that I do have that same passion to help others, I always have. The internship helped me to see that even more.
It was very difficult for me to leave the internship because I gained so much confidence, knowledge & learning about myself and what probation was all about. I enjoyed the environment there, most people I came across were friendly, and I was very comfortable there. I would love to have a full time job at that specific probation department, but the man that I am in love with doesn't live in Western NY. I am glad to leave the state of New York knowing more about probation, and inspiring me to job hunt for that position. Even if I do not get a job with probation department, I still hope to return to that career at some point in my life.
Some of you may be wondering about communication during my internship. As I mentioned that the interview with the probation department was conducted via paper-and-pen method. I still use that method sometimes during my internship with co-workers. I also was able to lip read my mentor (only her, not other co-workers or probationers tho) without a problem. I also had interpreters that came in most of time. They interpreted for the meetings, lectures, etc. which helped me even more to not miss out on things. I am very grateful for the interpreters. I was surprised to find myself so comfortable in this environment as the only deaf person enough to want to work with the probation department for rest of my life. I am glad that I was that comfortable enough there which gives me hope to find that comfortableness again in my future job.
11.9.11
10th anniversary of 9/11/01
"You can't break my back and you can't keep me down cause I believe that freedom will keep me standing tall" 9/11/01
Today is September 11th, 2011 - 10 years later from the attacks in NYC, Washington D.C., and Pennsylvania. It is unbelievable how 10 years have already passed.
On this day 10 years ago, I remember that I was in 7th grade in middle school. I was suppose to have speech therapy. I had been in the room to start speech but shortly after the first plane hit the first tower - my speech therapy teacher took me to a study hall class down the hall which had a television. I sat in front row watching the TV - I remember that moment witnessing the 2nd plane hitting the tower. I'll never forget that moment. There were too many shock from the people in the room, even the news media crew who were filming it. You know how news are usually scripted or at least prepared? That was first time I didn't see news being prepared. They were expressing whatever was on their thoughts which made it scary. I knew something was up, but I still didn't completely understand what was going on.
Around late morning, my dad came to the school to take me home. I was excited to miss half day of school despite the situation. I got home with my Dad, we sat in the living room with TV on again. I still didn't get it and I was getting frustrated. I started to think this was nothing. It seemed too unrealistic to really be happening too. It seemed like it belonged in a movie. I questioned my dad what was going on. He explained about the terrorists. I still didn't get it because I never imagine that anyone could be that cold heart to do this. I still learned more over the time & had a better understanding of what had occurred on 9/11.
The day after 9/11 was even more sadder when they publish all the pictures behind the scenes. The media also was showing news crew walking around the affected areas, showing the realistic of it. I'll never forget seeing so many pictures, seeing the aftermath via news, & hearing stories of people who lost their loved ones. Many people went missing, I remember a huge site was created with family members leaving pictures of people who had been missing. I couldn't imagine having a family member to be involved to not come home at the end of the day. It was so surreal. I realized that our country forever was changed that day from the attacks.
I remember that people started to appreciate their loved ones in their lives after 9/11 because it had made many people realize that they never can know when they will lose their loved ones. I feel that the country around that time got very close, and more together like an unit. Many emergency personnel came from all over the country to these attacked sites to help clean up & look for the missing. That showed a huge bond when we all came together to help. For a while after 9/11, the country shared a bond where we remained together standing together and loving each other even more.
10 years later, many changes have been made in the country because of the attacks. Airports aren't the same. More security are present everywhere. It's not the same to be able to bring certain items to certain places. 9/11 have made us paranoid, but it is good in a way to prevent any more attacks. While it's been 10 years - I feel that the bond had fell overtime but in our hearts we still hold onto the day of 9/11/01. These people who experienced that day will forever remember it. We did became stronger because of it & forever will be.
A special thank you to all emergency personnel who ran in while everyone else were running away. A special thank you to all emergency personnel who traveled to NYC, Washington D.C., and PA to help out. You all are forever heroes.
9/11/01 <3
Today is September 11th, 2011 - 10 years later from the attacks in NYC, Washington D.C., and Pennsylvania. It is unbelievable how 10 years have already passed.
On this day 10 years ago, I remember that I was in 7th grade in middle school. I was suppose to have speech therapy. I had been in the room to start speech but shortly after the first plane hit the first tower - my speech therapy teacher took me to a study hall class down the hall which had a television. I sat in front row watching the TV - I remember that moment witnessing the 2nd plane hitting the tower. I'll never forget that moment. There were too many shock from the people in the room, even the news media crew who were filming it. You know how news are usually scripted or at least prepared? That was first time I didn't see news being prepared. They were expressing whatever was on their thoughts which made it scary. I knew something was up, but I still didn't completely understand what was going on.
Around late morning, my dad came to the school to take me home. I was excited to miss half day of school despite the situation. I got home with my Dad, we sat in the living room with TV on again. I still didn't get it and I was getting frustrated. I started to think this was nothing. It seemed too unrealistic to really be happening too. It seemed like it belonged in a movie. I questioned my dad what was going on. He explained about the terrorists. I still didn't get it because I never imagine that anyone could be that cold heart to do this. I still learned more over the time & had a better understanding of what had occurred on 9/11.
The day after 9/11 was even more sadder when they publish all the pictures behind the scenes. The media also was showing news crew walking around the affected areas, showing the realistic of it. I'll never forget seeing so many pictures, seeing the aftermath via news, & hearing stories of people who lost their loved ones. Many people went missing, I remember a huge site was created with family members leaving pictures of people who had been missing. I couldn't imagine having a family member to be involved to not come home at the end of the day. It was so surreal. I realized that our country forever was changed that day from the attacks.
I remember that people started to appreciate their loved ones in their lives after 9/11 because it had made many people realize that they never can know when they will lose their loved ones. I feel that the country around that time got very close, and more together like an unit. Many emergency personnel came from all over the country to these attacked sites to help clean up & look for the missing. That showed a huge bond when we all came together to help. For a while after 9/11, the country shared a bond where we remained together standing together and loving each other even more.
10 years later, many changes have been made in the country because of the attacks. Airports aren't the same. More security are present everywhere. It's not the same to be able to bring certain items to certain places. 9/11 have made us paranoid, but it is good in a way to prevent any more attacks. While it's been 10 years - I feel that the bond had fell overtime but in our hearts we still hold onto the day of 9/11/01. These people who experienced that day will forever remember it. We did became stronger because of it & forever will be.
A special thank you to all emergency personnel who ran in while everyone else were running away. A special thank you to all emergency personnel who traveled to NYC, Washington D.C., and PA to help out. You all are forever heroes.
9/11/01 <3
25.7.11
Deaf Identity
In the deaf community, there are many deaf identities for people to label themselves with. I just only learned about these identities in my 3rd year of college. I had finally started my concentration/minor which was Deaf Cultural Studies. I took a course in Spring 2009 called "Diversity in Deaf Community". I was one of the very first (lucky) student to enroll in that new course.
Going in that course with expectations of learning about deaf cultures only brought me even more information about the deaf community that I hadn't been aware of before. The whole quarter that I was in that course, I often found myself analyzing my identity and my role with the deaf community.
Many of identities had varied from being very involved in the deaf community, being comfortable with being deaf, in the middle of both hearing and deaf world, "hearing" - deaf (oral), etc. There was so many identities which shocked me and even raised that question of which one am I? It was overwhelming to learn about identities and more aspects of the deaf community that it again drove me away for a while. I reconsidered minoring in deaf cultural studies, thinking that I'd like to minor in politics. I didn't want to be surrounded by deaf people in that course because I felt like I was alone. Many of deaf people in there had comfortably called out answers and express their opinions in sign language to our deaf professor. I was the quiet student that never called out in ANY courses.
I felt uncomfortable because I felt like many deaf students around me in that class had been comfortable with being deaf. I wasn't sure what I liked about it and what I did like about it. All of my life I never really knew where I belonged. I grew up in hearing world thinking I belonged to deaf world only to come to Rochester in first year of college to completely avoid deaf world. To this day, I only have very few deaf friends. I do like hanging with them the most because of effective communicating and same understanding of our experiences. I don't understand why I wasn't involved in the deaf world in all years of my college only to want to be involved now after my graduation. I feel that one main reason of it had to do with fear.
This summer (2011), I bumped in three older deaf women in Westport, CT during arts & craft festival. I was surprised to see them in Westport because Westport had been a very small town. I worked up the courage to talk to them to find out about them. I immediately approached them asking "you deaf?". They all said "yes" and we got to introducing ourselves with names and where we resided. We chatted for a good hour about our life as deaf women. I shared the confusion and frustration I faced all of my life about deaf community and still experiencing a bit of it currently.
I was appealed to find that one of them had experienced the same. I had spoke about the deaf identities with them, asking if they knew what they were. Their response were "I tell people that I'm DEAF. Period." to avoid further self-confused feelings of their identity. One woman had said that she did not officially know what she was until her late 30's around age of 35. I was appealed at that. I couldn't believe that. It's been a long time of confusion, frustration, mixture of feeling, etc. with my role/identity in deaf community, so to imagine having that until the age of 35 just was too overwhelming. I definitely was feeling better to know that I wasn't the only one experiencing that feeling.
Do I have an official deaf identity? I'm quite not sure yet, but I do have to admit that I have been getting more, more, and more comfortable with myself being deaf lately. When before I wouldn't admit to strangers that I had been deaf until it was critical to now comfortably inform people that I am deaf. I felt like I had been hiding myself all of these years with feeling shame of my deafness. To my surprise, with coming out with my deafness to people - I have been surprised by some people and it had made me wonder if I missed this all of those years.
What surprises? When I go to the stores or places, I am often faced with hearing employees who would often sign "thank you" or simple word to me. One time I went to Krispy Kreme at Mohegan Sun Casino, the female cashier had signed the whole conversation in ASL. I had began to wonder if I had missed all of this by overlooking it and hiding who I was. I do feel that there is more deaf awareness now lately with Marlee Martin's role on The Apprentice TV show & Dancing with Stars and the newest TV show on ABC Family called Switched at Birth. The deafness have started to be out in the open where million of people are seeing or hearing about it. I am very thrilled about that & am hoping for continue awareness of deaf for the future.
With feeling more comfortable to express that I am deaf, I still am not passion about being deaf. I do not sign often in the public as I am shy to have people stare at me. Once in while I do would want to show off sign language. It all depends on what I'm feeling like at the moment about myself. I do not let the difficulties in public get to me as much as it used to. I would go off bad-talking about rude people or something that hearing people did to me when now I just ignore it. I just would walk away from these kind situations when before I would let people make me feel lower than dirt for being deaf.
It also motivates me when I see other deaf people in Rochester (and anywhere else) that are comfortable with who they are & seeing how happy they are among themselves. I see them every where signing insanely with passion, don't care if anyone's watching them, ignore those rude people, etc. They just seem to be careless about what's going on around them. I hope to experience that some day.
I also hope some day I'll be able to pin point my deaf identity.
Going in that course with expectations of learning about deaf cultures only brought me even more information about the deaf community that I hadn't been aware of before. The whole quarter that I was in that course, I often found myself analyzing my identity and my role with the deaf community.
Many of identities had varied from being very involved in the deaf community, being comfortable with being deaf, in the middle of both hearing and deaf world, "hearing" - deaf (oral), etc. There was so many identities which shocked me and even raised that question of which one am I? It was overwhelming to learn about identities and more aspects of the deaf community that it again drove me away for a while. I reconsidered minoring in deaf cultural studies, thinking that I'd like to minor in politics. I didn't want to be surrounded by deaf people in that course because I felt like I was alone. Many of deaf people in there had comfortably called out answers and express their opinions in sign language to our deaf professor. I was the quiet student that never called out in ANY courses.
I felt uncomfortable because I felt like many deaf students around me in that class had been comfortable with being deaf. I wasn't sure what I liked about it and what I did like about it. All of my life I never really knew where I belonged. I grew up in hearing world thinking I belonged to deaf world only to come to Rochester in first year of college to completely avoid deaf world. To this day, I only have very few deaf friends. I do like hanging with them the most because of effective communicating and same understanding of our experiences. I don't understand why I wasn't involved in the deaf world in all years of my college only to want to be involved now after my graduation. I feel that one main reason of it had to do with fear.
This summer (2011), I bumped in three older deaf women in Westport, CT during arts & craft festival. I was surprised to see them in Westport because Westport had been a very small town. I worked up the courage to talk to them to find out about them. I immediately approached them asking "you deaf?". They all said "yes" and we got to introducing ourselves with names and where we resided. We chatted for a good hour about our life as deaf women. I shared the confusion and frustration I faced all of my life about deaf community and still experiencing a bit of it currently.
I was appealed to find that one of them had experienced the same. I had spoke about the deaf identities with them, asking if they knew what they were. Their response were "I tell people that I'm DEAF. Period." to avoid further self-confused feelings of their identity. One woman had said that she did not officially know what she was until her late 30's around age of 35. I was appealed at that. I couldn't believe that. It's been a long time of confusion, frustration, mixture of feeling, etc. with my role/identity in deaf community, so to imagine having that until the age of 35 just was too overwhelming. I definitely was feeling better to know that I wasn't the only one experiencing that feeling.
Do I have an official deaf identity? I'm quite not sure yet, but I do have to admit that I have been getting more, more, and more comfortable with myself being deaf lately. When before I wouldn't admit to strangers that I had been deaf until it was critical to now comfortably inform people that I am deaf. I felt like I had been hiding myself all of these years with feeling shame of my deafness. To my surprise, with coming out with my deafness to people - I have been surprised by some people and it had made me wonder if I missed this all of those years.
What surprises? When I go to the stores or places, I am often faced with hearing employees who would often sign "thank you" or simple word to me. One time I went to Krispy Kreme at Mohegan Sun Casino, the female cashier had signed the whole conversation in ASL. I had began to wonder if I had missed all of this by overlooking it and hiding who I was. I do feel that there is more deaf awareness now lately with Marlee Martin's role on The Apprentice TV show & Dancing with Stars and the newest TV show on ABC Family called Switched at Birth. The deafness have started to be out in the open where million of people are seeing or hearing about it. I am very thrilled about that & am hoping for continue awareness of deaf for the future.
With feeling more comfortable to express that I am deaf, I still am not passion about being deaf. I do not sign often in the public as I am shy to have people stare at me. Once in while I do would want to show off sign language. It all depends on what I'm feeling like at the moment about myself. I do not let the difficulties in public get to me as much as it used to. I would go off bad-talking about rude people or something that hearing people did to me when now I just ignore it. I just would walk away from these kind situations when before I would let people make me feel lower than dirt for being deaf.
It also motivates me when I see other deaf people in Rochester (and anywhere else) that are comfortable with who they are & seeing how happy they are among themselves. I see them every where signing insanely with passion, don't care if anyone's watching them, ignore those rude people, etc. They just seem to be careless about what's going on around them. I hope to experience that some day.
I also hope some day I'll be able to pin point my deaf identity.
22.7.11
Interviews
Hello readers. I was MIA for the whole month of June. I apologize. I have moved out to the state of Connecticut only for the summer. I had to explore what the area had to offer. I've definitely learned a lot about the area and more about what I want for my future.
I thought about the interviews I had back in May in Western NYS. I've never had an official interview ever in my whole life, so I was quite nervous because it's the time where I'll be facing quite several of interviews with my new chapter in life. Last May, I was lucky to line up two interviews in one day (maybe it was a bad idea?) with two places to start working in the fall.
First place had been a non profit organization focused on advocating for deaf victims. Let me tell you, my first impression about the organization was that I would be likely to work with this organization since the staff were all deaf. The idea of working in a place where everyone used sign language seemed appealing to me without having to face frustration with the deafness. It definitely was much easy to conduct an interview in pure sign language without the hassle of getting interpreters and facing the awkwardness/uncertainty with hearing people. I had thought I knew that I want to work in all deaf environment. Boy, was I wrong with that thought. I left this interview with feeling of hesitant and uncertainty. I just didn't feel like it was best place for me, it didn't bring out my passion for what I wanted to do.
Second place is completely different from the small organization which was full staffed with only deaf people. This place was reality (hearing world). The place was a division office of criminal justice system. I went in there without an interpreter (last minute, couldn't get one) so I was a nerve wreck. The person who interviewed me was very laid back, very nice, and very flexible on communicating. We communicated via paper & pen. After discussing what the job would consist of, I decided on the spot that this would be the job to take. We decided at end of our discussion that I will start in early September. Wait?! Why did I decided to take this one over the job in a deaf environment? I had felt more comfortable with this job & I felt the excitement and passion as we discussed the job.
This came as a surprise to me too. I came out of the building (second place) to the car where my mom had waited for me (she traveled with me to keep company), and I said "Mom, I'm working here". She looked at me surprised and then laughed. Before this day began, I was advised to not accept offers on the spot and to think about it for 1-2 days to make the right choice. In this situation, I felt strongly in my heart that I wanted the position. Some of you may remember my previous blog about the career choices - as this position would help me further in the path I think that I want which was another reason why I felt strongly to take that job over the small organization.
I am glad I still had the experience to sit down for an interview with the small organization and hear about the organization. It is very interesting organization that had a mixture of criminal justice and psychology which I once considered wanting in my career within the criminal justice system. I still have the passion to help people in C.J. system so I'm hoping to explore that further.
It was interesting to see two very different type of interviews in the same day. One with deaf staff of the organization conducted in ASL & the other one done via paper & pen. I'm glad to have this experience to help me prepare better for further interviews in both worlds.
I'm already following my heart in what I want to do by taking the job that I felt the most excited and passion for. I'm looking very much forward to fall to start the job. :)
I thought about the interviews I had back in May in Western NYS. I've never had an official interview ever in my whole life, so I was quite nervous because it's the time where I'll be facing quite several of interviews with my new chapter in life. Last May, I was lucky to line up two interviews in one day (maybe it was a bad idea?) with two places to start working in the fall.
First place had been a non profit organization focused on advocating for deaf victims. Let me tell you, my first impression about the organization was that I would be likely to work with this organization since the staff were all deaf. The idea of working in a place where everyone used sign language seemed appealing to me without having to face frustration with the deafness. It definitely was much easy to conduct an interview in pure sign language without the hassle of getting interpreters and facing the awkwardness/uncertainty with hearing people. I had thought I knew that I want to work in all deaf environment. Boy, was I wrong with that thought. I left this interview with feeling of hesitant and uncertainty. I just didn't feel like it was best place for me, it didn't bring out my passion for what I wanted to do.
Second place is completely different from the small organization which was full staffed with only deaf people. This place was reality (hearing world). The place was a division office of criminal justice system. I went in there without an interpreter (last minute, couldn't get one) so I was a nerve wreck. The person who interviewed me was very laid back, very nice, and very flexible on communicating. We communicated via paper & pen. After discussing what the job would consist of, I decided on the spot that this would be the job to take. We decided at end of our discussion that I will start in early September. Wait?! Why did I decided to take this one over the job in a deaf environment? I had felt more comfortable with this job & I felt the excitement and passion as we discussed the job.
This came as a surprise to me too. I came out of the building (second place) to the car where my mom had waited for me (she traveled with me to keep company), and I said "Mom, I'm working here". She looked at me surprised and then laughed. Before this day began, I was advised to not accept offers on the spot and to think about it for 1-2 days to make the right choice. In this situation, I felt strongly in my heart that I wanted the position. Some of you may remember my previous blog about the career choices - as this position would help me further in the path I think that I want which was another reason why I felt strongly to take that job over the small organization.
I am glad I still had the experience to sit down for an interview with the small organization and hear about the organization. It is very interesting organization that had a mixture of criminal justice and psychology which I once considered wanting in my career within the criminal justice system. I still have the passion to help people in C.J. system so I'm hoping to explore that further.
It was interesting to see two very different type of interviews in the same day. One with deaf staff of the organization conducted in ASL & the other one done via paper & pen. I'm glad to have this experience to help me prepare better for further interviews in both worlds.
I'm already following my heart in what I want to do by taking the job that I felt the most excited and passion for. I'm looking very much forward to fall to start the job. :)
4.5.11
RIT Graduation
Excerpt from 9.8.2010 blog:
"I am officially done with my first days of classes for my undergrad college years ever. It's an awesome feeling. Even better when I will be at that point when I'm 5 weeks away from graduation in May."
Oh boy. How could I have wrote that? In the past month, it honestly have been the most stressful time ever. Many decisions that I have to make in a short time. I was stressing so much over post graduation plans. Realizing that I'm spending most of the time stressing isn't worth it to end the year. I cannot say how much stressful senior year is compared to freshman year. Senior year is the worst stress wise. I do feel excited for graduation but at same time I've been very afraid what the future will bring me. I feel like I am going in the world blind without experiences I didn't get to experience.
I am struggling with post graduation plans, whether to find a job or attend graduate school or law school. Decisions that may cost me money. I can't find everything that I have strong passion for (job) at the same graduate school/law school. I don't want to apply to these schools because it cost me money and what if I change my mind after graduation? That master's degree would be wasted. Yet, at same time I just want to start working - no more school! However, I'm not sure how more challenge I would have to face with my deafness in finding jobs than it would be if I had a master's degree?
Of course, most of my fears has to do with my deafness. I am afraid that I won't be able to find a good quality job because some people will be ignorant and not hire me. Will I experience that again like I did in high school? I applied to 33 places in beginning of my senior year of high school and NO call-backs at all. I went to all of those places in person and had met most of managers/supervisors then, so I can't help to think it's just weird that I just didn't get a callback (My e-mail address was on the resume so it's not like they could use the excuse of "well how do I call a deaf person?"!).
I also still am analyzing what I want to do with my future career/job. I have too many passion within the criminal justice system. I still feel the most passion with the corrections system, but I feel that I do not know enough about what's available in the system as of jobs. It's difficult to find employees of D.O.C. that aren't biased. It's sad because I have so many D.O.C. employees that I know in upstate NY & especially living near two maximum security correctional facilities. It's still difficult to approach those because they're all either a relative or friend of mine which they'll all try to turn me away from D.O.C. which doesn't help me in any ways.
Meanwhile, I am still holding on my old dream of helping deaf individuals like myself growing up in an isolated community without any or few deaf people. I was only one my age when I grew up in my area and it was difficult to rely on anyone that could fully understand me. I also needed that inspiration of seeing that deaf people could be successful because some hearing people in the area had doubts about my ability. Some people didn't believe that I would make it far in life, so it was difficult to have that bury on me without help from fellow deaf members who had succeed in life.
Coming to RIT allowed me to see the abilities of deaf people in our world - I still get amazed even through at this point I have heard many many many success stories. I still am amazed. I want to be one of those people. Recently a group of deaf kids ranging in age of 8-14 from Upstate NY region near my hometown came to RIT for science fair. I had met up with them since I knew one deaf kid (in the group) which I adore! The teacher who had brought them up to RIT had told me that they were shocked to find out that there were deaf kids their age near by, in which many new friendships had developed. I was thinking in my head the whole time how jealous I was of them. I may knew some deaf people that were near or exactly my age during my childhood but they never were in my hometown long enough since many went away to deaf institutes after elementary school.
I still have the passion to help the deaf individuals who are isolated from the deaf community because I wanted that for myself. It's difficult to decide which path to take because I have such a strong passion for helping fellow deaf individuals and the criminal justice system.
I'm glad I have some time left... I am walking in the commencement for graduation in two weeks but I am not completed with the course requirements in which I will be completing in 2011-2012. I also have the summer of relaxation which will hopefully give me better ideas of what I want to do with my life.
"I am officially done with my first days of classes for my undergrad college years ever. It's an awesome feeling. Even better when I will be at that point when I'm 5 weeks away from graduation in May."
Oh boy. How could I have wrote that? In the past month, it honestly have been the most stressful time ever. Many decisions that I have to make in a short time. I was stressing so much over post graduation plans. Realizing that I'm spending most of the time stressing isn't worth it to end the year. I cannot say how much stressful senior year is compared to freshman year. Senior year is the worst stress wise. I do feel excited for graduation but at same time I've been very afraid what the future will bring me. I feel like I am going in the world blind without experiences I didn't get to experience.
I am struggling with post graduation plans, whether to find a job or attend graduate school or law school. Decisions that may cost me money. I can't find everything that I have strong passion for (job) at the same graduate school/law school. I don't want to apply to these schools because it cost me money and what if I change my mind after graduation? That master's degree would be wasted. Yet, at same time I just want to start working - no more school! However, I'm not sure how more challenge I would have to face with my deafness in finding jobs than it would be if I had a master's degree?
Of course, most of my fears has to do with my deafness. I am afraid that I won't be able to find a good quality job because some people will be ignorant and not hire me. Will I experience that again like I did in high school? I applied to 33 places in beginning of my senior year of high school and NO call-backs at all. I went to all of those places in person and had met most of managers/supervisors then, so I can't help to think it's just weird that I just didn't get a callback (My e-mail address was on the resume so it's not like they could use the excuse of "well how do I call a deaf person?"!).
I also still am analyzing what I want to do with my future career/job. I have too many passion within the criminal justice system. I still feel the most passion with the corrections system, but I feel that I do not know enough about what's available in the system as of jobs. It's difficult to find employees of D.O.C. that aren't biased. It's sad because I have so many D.O.C. employees that I know in upstate NY & especially living near two maximum security correctional facilities. It's still difficult to approach those because they're all either a relative or friend of mine which they'll all try to turn me away from D.O.C. which doesn't help me in any ways.
Meanwhile, I am still holding on my old dream of helping deaf individuals like myself growing up in an isolated community without any or few deaf people. I was only one my age when I grew up in my area and it was difficult to rely on anyone that could fully understand me. I also needed that inspiration of seeing that deaf people could be successful because some hearing people in the area had doubts about my ability. Some people didn't believe that I would make it far in life, so it was difficult to have that bury on me without help from fellow deaf members who had succeed in life.
Coming to RIT allowed me to see the abilities of deaf people in our world - I still get amazed even through at this point I have heard many many many success stories. I still am amazed. I want to be one of those people. Recently a group of deaf kids ranging in age of 8-14 from Upstate NY region near my hometown came to RIT for science fair. I had met up with them since I knew one deaf kid (in the group) which I adore! The teacher who had brought them up to RIT had told me that they were shocked to find out that there were deaf kids their age near by, in which many new friendships had developed. I was thinking in my head the whole time how jealous I was of them. I may knew some deaf people that were near or exactly my age during my childhood but they never were in my hometown long enough since many went away to deaf institutes after elementary school.
I still have the passion to help the deaf individuals who are isolated from the deaf community because I wanted that for myself. It's difficult to decide which path to take because I have such a strong passion for helping fellow deaf individuals and the criminal justice system.
I'm glad I have some time left... I am walking in the commencement for graduation in two weeks but I am not completed with the course requirements in which I will be completing in 2011-2012. I also have the summer of relaxation which will hopefully give me better ideas of what I want to do with my life.
24.3.11
Officers' Academy 2011
As I mentioned in July 2010 blog - I am a sister of TriSigma at RIT. Also I had a wonderful opportunity to be the President for recent academic term - Winter 2010/2011 - which gave me the opportunity to attend Officers' Academy in Indiana, PA. I went with the Vice President, Recruitment Director, and Education Director. We left Rochester on Friday night making it to Indiana by 7pm in time for registration.
I had no idea what to expect and I was really nervous about the fact that many other chapters from other colleges will be there. I usually don't like large crowds so I was little paranoid about that. I immediately met a TriSigma sister at registration table who had apparently attend the same graduate school as my 'big' sister. She was a sweet person and it was interesting to meet someone who knew me from my big sister! The night was filled with welcoming everyone from all over Northeast (PA, NY, OH, VA, West VA, etc.) to the Officers' Academy.
The purpose of Officers' Academy had been to focus on our specific positions and its tasks it consisted of. This academy allowed improvement in my role as President with many new things I learned, even picked up some ideas from other chapters. It was a fantastic experience. The thing about Officers' Academy is that I won't forget that strong sisterhood bond that is existing out there with TriSigma. I don't only have my sisters in Epsilon Psi chapter at RIT, but millions of TriSigma sisters in the United States. I realized that we weren't alone. There was many support there at the Officers' Academy to make each other grow even more as women and as a woman of TriSigma.
The academy had divided girls up in groups in which we had to act out a broadcasting of advertising what made a TriSigma woman. I will never forget the group that my chapter's Vice President and Education Director were involved in for this skit. That group really showed what EXACTLY sisterhood is about. EACH of the sister in their group had said a word (characteristics of TriSigma women) while they SIGNED it. It was just amazing to see that and it truly touched my heart. My chapter e-board had been the only deaf (minus Recruitment director who is hearing) so we were definitely standing out at the academy with our signings and interpreters. I felt that was exact proof of sisterhood because that group had consisted two deaf members in which they included them with adding in sign language. They weren't left out.
Regardless of the deafness, I still felt that I fit in there with all of those girls who are my sisters. I will never forget that experience at Officers' Academy as well meeting many fantastic girls from other chapters! The academy truly inspired me to continue my role as a sister for TriSigma until the day I die.
My 'big' sister also is a huge inspiration. I thought of her during the whole Officers' Academy because she graduated from our TriSigma chapter at RIT but still participates in TriSigma as an alumni. She is a membership recruitment advisor for a chapter nearby where she currently lives. We made a promise to TriSigma and I'm going to keep that promise to fulfill my duties as a sister of TriSigma.
As we ended Officer's Academy - I shared my statement with everyone which was this: "I promise to cherish the uniqueness of my chapter at RIT". I am truly fortunate to meet many wonderful sisters of Epsilon Psi at RIT which definitely made the chapter unique. This experience from freshman year to now (senior year) have made me a better and stronger woman than the woman I was when I entered Epsilon Psi chapter. I never will forget one of my major best experiences at RIT - TriSigma sorority.
"Strangers We Enter;
Friends We Become;
Sisters We Remain"
Sigma Sigma Sigma <3
I had no idea what to expect and I was really nervous about the fact that many other chapters from other colleges will be there. I usually don't like large crowds so I was little paranoid about that. I immediately met a TriSigma sister at registration table who had apparently attend the same graduate school as my 'big' sister. She was a sweet person and it was interesting to meet someone who knew me from my big sister! The night was filled with welcoming everyone from all over Northeast (PA, NY, OH, VA, West VA, etc.) to the Officers' Academy.
The purpose of Officers' Academy had been to focus on our specific positions and its tasks it consisted of. This academy allowed improvement in my role as President with many new things I learned, even picked up some ideas from other chapters. It was a fantastic experience. The thing about Officers' Academy is that I won't forget that strong sisterhood bond that is existing out there with TriSigma. I don't only have my sisters in Epsilon Psi chapter at RIT, but millions of TriSigma sisters in the United States. I realized that we weren't alone. There was many support there at the Officers' Academy to make each other grow even more as women and as a woman of TriSigma.
The academy had divided girls up in groups in which we had to act out a broadcasting of advertising what made a TriSigma woman. I will never forget the group that my chapter's Vice President and Education Director were involved in for this skit. That group really showed what EXACTLY sisterhood is about. EACH of the sister in their group had said a word (characteristics of TriSigma women) while they SIGNED it. It was just amazing to see that and it truly touched my heart. My chapter e-board had been the only deaf (minus Recruitment director who is hearing) so we were definitely standing out at the academy with our signings and interpreters. I felt that was exact proof of sisterhood because that group had consisted two deaf members in which they included them with adding in sign language. They weren't left out.
Regardless of the deafness, I still felt that I fit in there with all of those girls who are my sisters. I will never forget that experience at Officers' Academy as well meeting many fantastic girls from other chapters! The academy truly inspired me to continue my role as a sister for TriSigma until the day I die.
My 'big' sister also is a huge inspiration. I thought of her during the whole Officers' Academy because she graduated from our TriSigma chapter at RIT but still participates in TriSigma as an alumni. She is a membership recruitment advisor for a chapter nearby where she currently lives. We made a promise to TriSigma and I'm going to keep that promise to fulfill my duties as a sister of TriSigma.
As we ended Officer's Academy - I shared my statement with everyone which was this: "I promise to cherish the uniqueness of my chapter at RIT". I am truly fortunate to meet many wonderful sisters of Epsilon Psi at RIT which definitely made the chapter unique. This experience from freshman year to now (senior year) have made me a better and stronger woman than the woman I was when I entered Epsilon Psi chapter. I never will forget one of my major best experiences at RIT - TriSigma sorority.
"Strangers We Enter;
Friends We Become;
Sisters We Remain"
Sigma Sigma Sigma <3
22.2.11
Criminal Justice System
Welcome to my first blog of 2011. I apologize that I have been occupied for last few months. It had hit me hard with graduation nearing & not knowing 100% of my post graduation plans. I have too many passions within criminal justice system. I could go whole day talking about organized crimes, drugs, money related crimes, law enforcement, corrections system, and the court system. How was I suppose to chose one without making a mistake?
I have realized that I have regrets again from my years in college, just like high school. It never will go away with regrets. I have a huge fear of not knowing what I wanted to do post graduation at RIT. I don't want to make another regret of choosing wrong profession. I want to be happy and pick the right job.
With attending RIT, I am very fortunate of what I gained from the criminal justice department. The CJ department at RIT is fantastic with many opportunities for everyone to explore specific fields of criminal justice. The elective criminal justice classes are varied with topics that are focused on law enforcement, courts, corrections, security, and computer crime. This allowed me to see what I really had strong passion for within criminal justice system.
I have took many courts and law enforcement related criminal justice elective classes. The law enforcement courses focused on policing. I have huge respect for the law enforcement, but I realized that I wouldn't be happy in that field with many limitations on my deafness. This allowed me to realize this now before it was too late & get good experience from having professors who were actual police officers for Monroe County. I have met many great men that I will remember for a while with giving me a wonderful experience with their classes. The courts courses gave me the same wonderful experience. It allowed me to have field trips to the courts at Hall of Justice in Rochester, NY. I have watched the procedures at the drugs court, family court, and criminal courts. Recently, I visited the Appellate Court (4th Division for Western NY/central upstate NY). I also have met many people who worked in this system who were fantastic people whom helped me to find myself. I had strong interests in the court system & began to consider law school last summer. However exploring further in this, I realized that there was something missing.
This year I also had the honors of bringing a club back to RIT with several other students that I met in my criminal justice classes. We all became the e-board members for Criminal Justice Students Association. I am very glad that I made the decision to be involved with CJSA. It has brought a HUGE opportunity that I never thought would change me so much. We had the opportunity of a visit to maximum security correctional facility. I never thought how much could change in a day. The whole senior year from September 2010 to now, I had been miserable with not knowing what my niche was in criminal justice system. It had affected me with my happiness & caused me to be closed-off from the people I cared the most.
The visit to the correctional facility had made me realize that was my niche. I gained so much from the visit with new knowledge of what corrections system consisted of. I have never felt happier that my specific interests of criminal justice is finally narrowed down to corrections. Without CJSA, I cannot imagine where I would have been with figuring out my plans post graduation. The correctional guard and a counselor that I had met at the correctional facility also have helped me by giving me plenty information & showing me most of the correctional facility. At the end of the visit, I actually didn't want to leave the facility & I obsessively thought about that visit for good 4 straight days (seriously close to 24/7!). That's another sign of corrections being my niche because I have never thought so much about a visit. I have visited the courts plenty time and I always left there thinking about the case(s) then it was back to normal. I have so much motivation more than ever now to follow that goal of obtaining a job with Department of Corrections.
I have realized that I have regrets again from my years in college, just like high school. It never will go away with regrets. I have a huge fear of not knowing what I wanted to do post graduation at RIT. I don't want to make another regret of choosing wrong profession. I want to be happy and pick the right job.
With attending RIT, I am very fortunate of what I gained from the criminal justice department. The CJ department at RIT is fantastic with many opportunities for everyone to explore specific fields of criminal justice. The elective criminal justice classes are varied with topics that are focused on law enforcement, courts, corrections, security, and computer crime. This allowed me to see what I really had strong passion for within criminal justice system.
I have took many courts and law enforcement related criminal justice elective classes. The law enforcement courses focused on policing. I have huge respect for the law enforcement, but I realized that I wouldn't be happy in that field with many limitations on my deafness. This allowed me to realize this now before it was too late & get good experience from having professors who were actual police officers for Monroe County. I have met many great men that I will remember for a while with giving me a wonderful experience with their classes. The courts courses gave me the same wonderful experience. It allowed me to have field trips to the courts at Hall of Justice in Rochester, NY. I have watched the procedures at the drugs court, family court, and criminal courts. Recently, I visited the Appellate Court (4th Division for Western NY/central upstate NY). I also have met many people who worked in this system who were fantastic people whom helped me to find myself. I had strong interests in the court system & began to consider law school last summer. However exploring further in this, I realized that there was something missing.
This year I also had the honors of bringing a club back to RIT with several other students that I met in my criminal justice classes. We all became the e-board members for Criminal Justice Students Association. I am very glad that I made the decision to be involved with CJSA. It has brought a HUGE opportunity that I never thought would change me so much. We had the opportunity of a visit to maximum security correctional facility. I never thought how much could change in a day. The whole senior year from September 2010 to now, I had been miserable with not knowing what my niche was in criminal justice system. It had affected me with my happiness & caused me to be closed-off from the people I cared the most.
The visit to the correctional facility had made me realize that was my niche. I gained so much from the visit with new knowledge of what corrections system consisted of. I have never felt happier that my specific interests of criminal justice is finally narrowed down to corrections. Without CJSA, I cannot imagine where I would have been with figuring out my plans post graduation. The correctional guard and a counselor that I had met at the correctional facility also have helped me by giving me plenty information & showing me most of the correctional facility. At the end of the visit, I actually didn't want to leave the facility & I obsessively thought about that visit for good 4 straight days (seriously close to 24/7!). That's another sign of corrections being my niche because I have never thought so much about a visit. I have visited the courts plenty time and I always left there thinking about the case(s) then it was back to normal. I have so much motivation more than ever now to follow that goal of obtaining a job with Department of Corrections.
20.12.10
How to interact with deaf people?
Today I went to the post office to mail something out. I went up to the clerk to purchase stamp only to be faced with awkwardness with interacting with me. I spoke to her, "I want to buy stamp" while pointing to the stamp area on the envelope. The clerk brought out stamps and all of that, only to ask me a question. I asked her to repeat - in which she started noticing my accent. She looked at me like puzzled and I said, "Can you write, I'm deaf" while gesturing writing-on-paper motion. She just stared at me more. I started to get boiling mad because of that look which makes me feel inferior and a foreigner in my own country. I said again, "I'm deaf". She shrugged her shoulders, which implied that she didn't know how to interact with me. I motioned again to write on a paper. She didn't barge. I looked around for something on the counter in which I just found a paper with space that I could write onto. I wrote, "I'm deaf. What was your question" and gave it to her. She looked amazed at what I just did. She wrote back in response, "Do you want to buy insurance" in which I replied by shaking my head 'no'. The rest of that incident was just purchasing the stamp and walk out of there.
Wow, really. Wasted like 10 minutes for that crap. I'm sick of that happening all of the time when I make it clear what to do every time that awkwardness occurs. It's common sense what I was asking her to do.
It's amazing how some people out there DO NOT know how interacts with deaf people. I understand that some people may never met deaf people in their lives but still, it's common sense to NOT treat them like aliens. I wish EVERYONE would put themselves in that person's shoes and imagine how they'd want to be treated.
Even not just the deafness, every time I have came across all types of people - if there is barrier with something - I always put myself in their shoes and imagine the best possible solution. I know that I'm one of those people that I may be more understanding to interacting with anyone.
I have came across people who don't know how to interact with me at all that I would eventually show them how to interact with me. Usually the typical first movie is the paper-and-pen or a computer screen to type back and forth on Word. After that, I expect them to know how to interact because I showed it to them. There's no excuse.
When it comes to interacting with a certain type of people, I hold high expectations for people who has sign language or deafness-related knowledge within their family. Let me explain what I mean. My mom is a teacher in autistic classroom, in which I have learned a little about autistic kids as I grew up. I may not know 100% how to interact with autistic kids but I take some of the knowledge I gained from my mother & have no fear in trying something with them. I have opened up to autistic kids over the years as I grew up to be more comfortable with them. Few years ago, I ended up getting an autistic cousin now, and I just absolutely adore him. I love trying to interact with him at family events, and I always find a way to some how play with him even if it's unsuccessful - at least I TRIED.
So what I mean, I have high expectations for people who have some knowledge of the deaf culture, have parents employed where there is deafness involved, know some sign language, etc. I hold HIGH expectations for them, period. I expect my brother to sign when he comes across deaf people at his work, in which I was told he does. I have emphasized to my brother many times that it will make their days anyways if they know there's someone who can help them in the store that knows sign language instead of finding another worker to treat them like aliens.
I don't see how it is difficult to interact with deaf people. I know that I can't judge that with being deaf myself. But honestly, I have to learn how to INTERACT with hearing people. How would that be different? I have to find resources and methods to communicate EVERY day. It irritates me when I come across hearing people that only have to interact with me for few minutes, few hours, etc. to not want to try interacting with me. I have to interact with you, hearing people EVERY DAY.
Because of this difficulties from hearing people, once in while I would give up and not bother to talk to hearing people. Why would I do all of the work? It only just makes me stressed and frustrated. Sometime when I know that I may face that kind situation, I do think about whether I'm in the mood for that. Sad, huh? I bet that hearing people don't have to think whether they're in the mood to be frustrated, stressed, feel lower than dirt, etc.
The way I see it, it's a two-way street. Both deaf people and hearing people put in the effort EQUALLY and there will be a successful interacting.
Wow, really. Wasted like 10 minutes for that crap. I'm sick of that happening all of the time when I make it clear what to do every time that awkwardness occurs. It's common sense what I was asking her to do.
It's amazing how some people out there DO NOT know how interacts with deaf people. I understand that some people may never met deaf people in their lives but still, it's common sense to NOT treat them like aliens. I wish EVERYONE would put themselves in that person's shoes and imagine how they'd want to be treated.
Even not just the deafness, every time I have came across all types of people - if there is barrier with something - I always put myself in their shoes and imagine the best possible solution. I know that I'm one of those people that I may be more understanding to interacting with anyone.
I have came across people who don't know how to interact with me at all that I would eventually show them how to interact with me. Usually the typical first movie is the paper-and-pen or a computer screen to type back and forth on Word. After that, I expect them to know how to interact because I showed it to them. There's no excuse.
When it comes to interacting with a certain type of people, I hold high expectations for people who has sign language or deafness-related knowledge within their family. Let me explain what I mean. My mom is a teacher in autistic classroom, in which I have learned a little about autistic kids as I grew up. I may not know 100% how to interact with autistic kids but I take some of the knowledge I gained from my mother & have no fear in trying something with them. I have opened up to autistic kids over the years as I grew up to be more comfortable with them. Few years ago, I ended up getting an autistic cousin now, and I just absolutely adore him. I love trying to interact with him at family events, and I always find a way to some how play with him even if it's unsuccessful - at least I TRIED.
So what I mean, I have high expectations for people who have some knowledge of the deaf culture, have parents employed where there is deafness involved, know some sign language, etc. I hold HIGH expectations for them, period. I expect my brother to sign when he comes across deaf people at his work, in which I was told he does. I have emphasized to my brother many times that it will make their days anyways if they know there's someone who can help them in the store that knows sign language instead of finding another worker to treat them like aliens.
I don't see how it is difficult to interact with deaf people. I know that I can't judge that with being deaf myself. But honestly, I have to learn how to INTERACT with hearing people. How would that be different? I have to find resources and methods to communicate EVERY day. It irritates me when I come across hearing people that only have to interact with me for few minutes, few hours, etc. to not want to try interacting with me. I have to interact with you, hearing people EVERY DAY.
Because of this difficulties from hearing people, once in while I would give up and not bother to talk to hearing people. Why would I do all of the work? It only just makes me stressed and frustrated. Sometime when I know that I may face that kind situation, I do think about whether I'm in the mood for that. Sad, huh? I bet that hearing people don't have to think whether they're in the mood to be frustrated, stressed, feel lower than dirt, etc.
The way I see it, it's a two-way street. Both deaf people and hearing people put in the effort EQUALLY and there will be a successful interacting.
14.12.10
Reversed
Long time no blogging. I apologize as I got busy with the winter quarter starting up after a wonderful Thanksgiving break in CT. I was very down in the first week from missing my boyfriend. I also got elected as the President for my sorority for this year's term (Nov 2010-Nov 2011). It's a huge honor but a huge task to take on!
Last weekend, my sorority hosted the annual holiday dinner at a sister's house. I asked my brother to come up to Rochester to be my date to the dinner since my boyfriend couldn't take the time off from work & I was already planning to see him a week later for winter break. My brother came up to Rochester. We got to the house, and approximately 80 people had been there. Last time he was around that much deaf people was... NEVER. He has experienced being in a group up to six deaf people at once, that was it. So, it was another world for him.
Later that night, when my brother and I went back home to my place. He blew up at me out of anger that I had "ignored" and "ditched" him. I had started to laugh. Why? He was expressing the exact same feelings that I experience when I'm in HIS world. I don't think he still realizes how it was reversed for both of us with me being in my world. He used the excuse that I still had him and my mom. Well, what about me? He had me there. What's the difference?
I understand his frustration, but does he? I experienced this frustration EVERY single day for 18 years in Elmira at home, at school, anywhere. He only experienced this for 4 hours... LUCKY HIM. It was definitely weird to be in reversed position with him frustrated at me for not including him in conversations, leaving him, ignoring him, etc.
How can I ever make hearing people understand what us, deaf people feel like in their world? I don't think there any other way than having them come into our deaf world ALONE among many of us, but will it REALLY effect them and make them think about it?
Last weekend, my sorority hosted the annual holiday dinner at a sister's house. I asked my brother to come up to Rochester to be my date to the dinner since my boyfriend couldn't take the time off from work & I was already planning to see him a week later for winter break. My brother came up to Rochester. We got to the house, and approximately 80 people had been there. Last time he was around that much deaf people was... NEVER. He has experienced being in a group up to six deaf people at once, that was it. So, it was another world for him.
Later that night, when my brother and I went back home to my place. He blew up at me out of anger that I had "ignored" and "ditched" him. I had started to laugh. Why? He was expressing the exact same feelings that I experience when I'm in HIS world. I don't think he still realizes how it was reversed for both of us with me being in my world. He used the excuse that I still had him and my mom. Well, what about me? He had me there. What's the difference?
I understand his frustration, but does he? I experienced this frustration EVERY single day for 18 years in Elmira at home, at school, anywhere. He only experienced this for 4 hours... LUCKY HIM. It was definitely weird to be in reversed position with him frustrated at me for not including him in conversations, leaving him, ignoring him, etc.
How can I ever make hearing people understand what us, deaf people feel like in their world? I don't think there any other way than having them come into our deaf world ALONE among many of us, but will it REALLY effect them and make them think about it?
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