"Can you lip read?"

Some people have been questioning about approaches with meeting deaf people. While it is a difficult challenge for me to open up to new hearing people, I do my best to make them comfortable around me. I like meeting new people, as well teach people who are not familiar about the deaf culture. I am residing in Connecticut in an area with no deaf community like the one I grew to love in Rochester. I am faced with the challenges of meeting new people again. It’s a weird feeling because I didn’t have to worry about that for the last four years. In those four years, it wasn’t difficult to make friends who had same communication methods and similar understanding of living as a deaf individual.

In Connecticut, I am struggling to find a deaf community around here or at least some deaf friends. I am also struggling in befriending with new hearing people. I'm not facing the same challenges of a hearing person meeting people in the new location. It may take not long for them to make new friends. In meeting new people, I have to say that I am the most motivated to develop friendships with people express interest in communicating with me via sign language.

However, I am not saying that people are required to learn sign language to be friends with deaf people. There is the old traditional method of paper and pen. If you are high tech, you can type out on notepads or blank text on your mobile screen & show it to a deaf person. You also can sometime be lucky if the deaf person has a hearing person with them that would be able to interpret (i.e. my boyfriend can interpret for me).

A common question that I get all the time is "Can you lip read?" *WARNING* Some deaf people can lip read, not all of them through! I am one of those who can lip read but it takes a while for me to understand EVERYONE. Do not depend on deaf person to lip read - they still will be missing out on some words.

I do highly recommend that if you want to maintain an effective friendship with a deaf individual to learn sign language. There is a huge difference in a friendship depending on the communication methods. Conversations only through paper/pen compared to conversations via sign language. In paper/pen method, details are often left out. Nobody has fun to continue writing every word of a conversation with hand cramps. Communicating via sign language will allow the deaf individual to express as much they like to. My preferred communication method is using sign language to develop friendships.

I personally have felt frustration when I meet new people who don’t put in the efforts to somehow communicate with me. When I get very frustrated, I most often give up on those who do not put in the same efforts as I am in communicating. It gives me the feeling that they don’t care enough. But, I can tell you that it will make a deaf person’s day when they go out in the public to bump into people who express interest in deaf culture or show off some sign language skills. It grabs my attention towards them, and I feel motivated to communicate with them. An example of an incident would include the gathering I recently went to play the game of Apples-to-Apples where I was the only deaf person there. Some people brought up questions regarding my deafness. I immediately opened up to them and gave them as much details I could via interpreter (my boyfriend). I felt really excited that they showed interest and it gives me hopes to develop friendships with them down the road.

Even the littlest things make me excited such as signing “Thank-you”. When I go to the stores, there have been times when the cashiers picked up on my deafness from seeing me using sign language or my “Deaf accent” which they would sign “Thank you” to me as I was leaving the store. That isn’t even a minute long conversation but it thrills me when people put in the effort to do things like that. Every time that happens, it makes my day ... when I run into people like that, so if you are one of them, don’t be shy to show off some sign language skills! :)