Today I went to the post office to mail something out. I went up to the clerk to purchase stamp only to be faced with awkwardness with interacting with me. I spoke to her, "I want to buy stamp" while pointing to the stamp area on the envelope. The clerk brought out stamps and all of that, only to ask me a question. I asked her to repeat - in which she started noticing my accent. She looked at me like puzzled and I said, "Can you write, I'm deaf" while gesturing writing-on-paper motion. She just stared at me more. I started to get boiling mad because of that look which makes me feel inferior and a foreigner in my own country. I said again, "I'm deaf". She shrugged her shoulders, which implied that she didn't know how to interact with me. I motioned again to write on a paper. She didn't barge. I looked around for something on the counter in which I just found a paper with space that I could write onto. I wrote, "I'm deaf. What was your question" and gave it to her. She looked amazed at what I just did. She wrote back in response, "Do you want to buy insurance" in which I replied by shaking my head 'no'. The rest of that incident was just purchasing the stamp and walk out of there.
Wow, really. Wasted like 10 minutes for that crap. I'm sick of that happening all of the time when I make it clear what to do every time that awkwardness occurs. It's common sense what I was asking her to do.
It's amazing how some people out there DO NOT know how interacts with deaf people. I understand that some people may never met deaf people in their lives but still, it's common sense to NOT treat them like aliens. I wish EVERYONE would put themselves in that person's shoes and imagine how they'd want to be treated.
Even not just the deafness, every time I have came across all types of people - if there is barrier with something - I always put myself in their shoes and imagine the best possible solution. I know that I'm one of those people that I may be more understanding to interacting with anyone.
I have came across people who don't know how to interact with me at all that I would eventually show them how to interact with me. Usually the typical first movie is the paper-and-pen or a computer screen to type back and forth on Word. After that, I expect them to know how to interact because I showed it to them. There's no excuse.
When it comes to interacting with a certain type of people, I hold high expectations for people who has sign language or deafness-related knowledge within their family. Let me explain what I mean. My mom is a teacher in autistic classroom, in which I have learned a little about autistic kids as I grew up. I may not know 100% how to interact with autistic kids but I take some of the knowledge I gained from my mother & have no fear in trying something with them. I have opened up to autistic kids over the years as I grew up to be more comfortable with them. Few years ago, I ended up getting an autistic cousin now, and I just absolutely adore him. I love trying to interact with him at family events, and I always find a way to some how play with him even if it's unsuccessful - at least I TRIED.
So what I mean, I have high expectations for people who have some knowledge of the deaf culture, have parents employed where there is deafness involved, know some sign language, etc. I hold HIGH expectations for them, period. I expect my brother to sign when he comes across deaf people at his work, in which I was told he does. I have emphasized to my brother many times that it will make their days anyways if they know there's someone who can help them in the store that knows sign language instead of finding another worker to treat them like aliens.
I don't see how it is difficult to interact with deaf people. I know that I can't judge that with being deaf myself. But honestly, I have to learn how to INTERACT with hearing people. How would that be different? I have to find resources and methods to communicate EVERY day. It irritates me when I come across hearing people that only have to interact with me for few minutes, few hours, etc. to not want to try interacting with me. I have to interact with you, hearing people EVERY DAY.
Because of this difficulties from hearing people, once in while I would give up and not bother to talk to hearing people. Why would I do all of the work? It only just makes me stressed and frustrated. Sometime when I know that I may face that kind situation, I do think about whether I'm in the mood for that. Sad, huh? I bet that hearing people don't have to think whether they're in the mood to be frustrated, stressed, feel lower than dirt, etc.
The way I see it, it's a two-way street. Both deaf people and hearing people put in the effort EQUALLY and there will be a successful interacting.
14.12.10
Reversed
Long time no blogging. I apologize as I got busy with the winter quarter starting up after a wonderful Thanksgiving break in CT. I was very down in the first week from missing my boyfriend. I also got elected as the President for my sorority for this year's term (Nov 2010-Nov 2011). It's a huge honor but a huge task to take on!
Last weekend, my sorority hosted the annual holiday dinner at a sister's house. I asked my brother to come up to Rochester to be my date to the dinner since my boyfriend couldn't take the time off from work & I was already planning to see him a week later for winter break. My brother came up to Rochester. We got to the house, and approximately 80 people had been there. Last time he was around that much deaf people was... NEVER. He has experienced being in a group up to six deaf people at once, that was it. So, it was another world for him.
Later that night, when my brother and I went back home to my place. He blew up at me out of anger that I had "ignored" and "ditched" him. I had started to laugh. Why? He was expressing the exact same feelings that I experience when I'm in HIS world. I don't think he still realizes how it was reversed for both of us with me being in my world. He used the excuse that I still had him and my mom. Well, what about me? He had me there. What's the difference?
I understand his frustration, but does he? I experienced this frustration EVERY single day for 18 years in Elmira at home, at school, anywhere. He only experienced this for 4 hours... LUCKY HIM. It was definitely weird to be in reversed position with him frustrated at me for not including him in conversations, leaving him, ignoring him, etc.
How can I ever make hearing people understand what us, deaf people feel like in their world? I don't think there any other way than having them come into our deaf world ALONE among many of us, but will it REALLY effect them and make them think about it?
Last weekend, my sorority hosted the annual holiday dinner at a sister's house. I asked my brother to come up to Rochester to be my date to the dinner since my boyfriend couldn't take the time off from work & I was already planning to see him a week later for winter break. My brother came up to Rochester. We got to the house, and approximately 80 people had been there. Last time he was around that much deaf people was... NEVER. He has experienced being in a group up to six deaf people at once, that was it. So, it was another world for him.
Later that night, when my brother and I went back home to my place. He blew up at me out of anger that I had "ignored" and "ditched" him. I had started to laugh. Why? He was expressing the exact same feelings that I experience when I'm in HIS world. I don't think he still realizes how it was reversed for both of us with me being in my world. He used the excuse that I still had him and my mom. Well, what about me? He had me there. What's the difference?
I understand his frustration, but does he? I experienced this frustration EVERY single day for 18 years in Elmira at home, at school, anywhere. He only experienced this for 4 hours... LUCKY HIM. It was definitely weird to be in reversed position with him frustrated at me for not including him in conversations, leaving him, ignoring him, etc.
How can I ever make hearing people understand what us, deaf people feel like in their world? I don't think there any other way than having them come into our deaf world ALONE among many of us, but will it REALLY effect them and make them think about it?
1.12.10
OMG! There's deaf people out there?
Hope all of you had a good Thanksgiving. I had a very good break going to CT to see the boyfriend. I celebrated my first holiday away from the family. It was difficult but it turned out to be a really nice time. We also celebrated our first year of our relationship - the best year ever in my lifetime.
I'm glad that I got the chance to go to CT to see the area that my boyfriend just moved to (he got a new job there). The town was so much similar to Rochester, it really weirded me out. Only difference was obviously the deaf community. I cannot tell you how many laughs I had in CT. Some people sure got their slap-in-their-face moments.
The very first full day I was in CT, I was bored with the boyfriend working 7am-4pm so I decided to explore the area. The apartment was right off this long road full of many stores. I stopped at Walgreen's to purchase last minute card for Adam for our 1 year (November 20th!). I brought it up to the cash register, and had looked down in my wallet to get the cash out only to look up to the dude looking irritated. I just looked and did a little smile (with no teeth showing, that kind smile). He, then said "Hello, are you deaf?!". Finally that moment came for me when someone said that! Usually I would have blew off at him but I just glanced at him for a moment before I said "Yeah". He responded again, "Seriously?" with a dead serious look, in which I replied AGAIN, "Yeah". He looked at me for literally a full minute before he proceed to run the register with my purchases. Yeah dude, there are deaf people out there (GASP). I walked out of the store laughing. I wonder if that dude would ever use that statement in the future.
In CT, there were people staring every day every where. That's the usual. But this slap-in-your-face incident occurred at Wal Mart had me rolling the floor laughing. Adam and I had stood in middle of aisle discussing our dinner plans. A man apparently was staring at us while he was walking past us only to walk into another lady's cart. Boo-yah, karma for staring. Thanks for the laugh, sir.
It was a long time since I left Rochester into worlds with less awareness of the deafness. It was amazing how I didn't let most of things bother me as the usual. I only recall getting irritated with people staring which I would just drop the conversation and take my boyfriend to a new location with more privacy. I'm beginning to think that I've got laid back with my deafness and maybe having more confident with who I am. That's something for me to analyze now.
That's it for tonight, folks. Maybe more funny moments coming for all of those future trips back to CT.
I'm glad that I got the chance to go to CT to see the area that my boyfriend just moved to (he got a new job there). The town was so much similar to Rochester, it really weirded me out. Only difference was obviously the deaf community. I cannot tell you how many laughs I had in CT. Some people sure got their slap-in-their-face moments.
The very first full day I was in CT, I was bored with the boyfriend working 7am-4pm so I decided to explore the area. The apartment was right off this long road full of many stores. I stopped at Walgreen's to purchase last minute card for Adam for our 1 year (November 20th!). I brought it up to the cash register, and had looked down in my wallet to get the cash out only to look up to the dude looking irritated. I just looked and did a little smile (with no teeth showing, that kind smile). He, then said "Hello, are you deaf?!". Finally that moment came for me when someone said that! Usually I would have blew off at him but I just glanced at him for a moment before I said "Yeah". He responded again, "Seriously?" with a dead serious look, in which I replied AGAIN, "Yeah". He looked at me for literally a full minute before he proceed to run the register with my purchases. Yeah dude, there are deaf people out there (GASP). I walked out of the store laughing. I wonder if that dude would ever use that statement in the future.
In CT, there were people staring every day every where. That's the usual. But this slap-in-your-face incident occurred at Wal Mart had me rolling the floor laughing. Adam and I had stood in middle of aisle discussing our dinner plans. A man apparently was staring at us while he was walking past us only to walk into another lady's cart. Boo-yah, karma for staring. Thanks for the laugh, sir.
It was a long time since I left Rochester into worlds with less awareness of the deafness. It was amazing how I didn't let most of things bother me as the usual. I only recall getting irritated with people staring which I would just drop the conversation and take my boyfriend to a new location with more privacy. I'm beginning to think that I've got laid back with my deafness and maybe having more confident with who I am. That's something for me to analyze now.
That's it for tonight, folks. Maybe more funny moments coming for all of those future trips back to CT.
10.11.10
Deaf Dalmatians
I love, love, love dogs so much. I am a huge dogs person and I will always have one all of my life! Many people don't realize that many dalmatians are born deaf! That is one of my goal to own a deaf dalmatian at some point in my life. I love these dalmatians, they are so beautiful! Yesterday, out of boredom I was looking around for deaf dalmatians via Internet (I did found one that I fell in love with! Her name is Diamond, she is only a baby pup! Check out the picture of Diamond at this link: http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/17806122... adorable isn't she?!).
Meanwhile, I ran in some other websites which I was just SHOCKED. I found this website (http://www.thedca.org/deaf1.html) to be VERY insulting and absolutely disrespectful and DISGUSTING. I couldn't BELIEVE what I read which included:
"Deaf pups should be dealt with in a responsible and HUMANE fashion"
Lovely copyrights of Dalmatian Club of America, 2007.
(Please, what's HUMANE about it!)
"NEVER sell, place, give away deaf pups"
Lovely copyrights of Dalmatian Club of America, 2007.
(Ok, how's that different from to not GIVE deaf babies to people?!)
"Deaf pups should be humane destroyed by vet"
Lovely copyrights of Dalmatian Club of America, 2007.
(Even can't make a comment about it, that's how disgusting it is)
"Deaf dalmatians are hard to raise & control (Most are hit by car when run away), become snappy when startled"
Lovely copyrights of Dalmatian Club of America, 2007.
(Ummmm, so does that mean we gotta put down little kids who are hard to raise and control and run away?) (Also for the "startled" part, if the dog gets snappy obviously the owner do NOT have the RIGHT awareness of how to raise a deaf dog which should be given to someone who does)
"If you are the owner of a deaf dalmatian, and having problems with the pup, do not feel guilty about it. consider starting over with healthy hearing pup and do have deaf pup put down"
Lovely copyrights of Dalmatian Club of America, 2007.
(If you are the owner of a hearing dalmatian, and having the problems with the pup, do not feel gulity about it. consider starting over with a healthy deaf pup and do have the hearing pup put down)
For that website, Dalmatian Club of America, I applaud you. Not. Go rot in hell.
There are people out there with REAL heart that will take in any deaf puppies - yes, it will be a challenge but does that mean we have to put down all the children who are born with difficulties in this world? People aren't perfect, so aren't dogs. I don't see why we have to treat differently with dogs. I have came across many dogs with other health problems with liver, skin, diseases, etc. just like people, yet there's no website targeting at these kind dogs recommended to be put down. As a deaf person myself, I would have the awareness of how to raise a deaf puppy/dog PROPERLY and in the most HUMANE way (which is giving it a LIFE). These people of DCA aren't humans at all that don't know their shit.
On a happier note, Here's a proof that Deaf pups are worthy to keep:
http://dogsinthenews.com/issues/0203/articles/020322a.htm.
L0VE TO DEAF DALMATIANS! <3
Meanwhile, I ran in some other websites which I was just SHOCKED. I found this website (http://www.thedca.org/deaf1.html) to be VERY insulting and absolutely disrespectful and DISGUSTING. I couldn't BELIEVE what I read which included:
"Deaf pups should be dealt with in a responsible and HUMANE fashion"
Lovely copyrights of Dalmatian Club of America, 2007.
(Please, what's HUMANE about it!)
"NEVER sell, place, give away deaf pups"
Lovely copyrights of Dalmatian Club of America, 2007.
(Ok, how's that different from to not GIVE deaf babies to people?!)
"Deaf pups should be humane destroyed by vet"
Lovely copyrights of Dalmatian Club of America, 2007.
(Even can't make a comment about it, that's how disgusting it is)
"Deaf dalmatians are hard to raise & control (Most are hit by car when run away), become snappy when startled"
Lovely copyrights of Dalmatian Club of America, 2007.
(Ummmm, so does that mean we gotta put down little kids who are hard to raise and control and run away?) (Also for the "startled" part, if the dog gets snappy obviously the owner do NOT have the RIGHT awareness of how to raise a deaf dog which should be given to someone who does)
"If you are the owner of a deaf dalmatian, and having problems with the pup, do not feel guilty about it. consider starting over with healthy hearing pup and do have deaf pup put down"
Lovely copyrights of Dalmatian Club of America, 2007.
(If you are the owner of a hearing dalmatian, and having the problems with the pup, do not feel gulity about it. consider starting over with a healthy deaf pup and do have the hearing pup put down)
For that website, Dalmatian Club of America, I applaud you. Not. Go rot in hell.
There are people out there with REAL heart that will take in any deaf puppies - yes, it will be a challenge but does that mean we have to put down all the children who are born with difficulties in this world? People aren't perfect, so aren't dogs. I don't see why we have to treat differently with dogs. I have came across many dogs with other health problems with liver, skin, diseases, etc. just like people, yet there's no website targeting at these kind dogs recommended to be put down. As a deaf person myself, I would have the awareness of how to raise a deaf puppy/dog PROPERLY and in the most HUMANE way (which is giving it a LIFE). These people of DCA aren't humans at all that don't know their shit.
On a happier note, Here's a proof that Deaf pups are worthy to keep:
http://dogsinthenews.com/issues/0203/articles/020322a.htm.
L0VE TO DEAF DALMATIANS! <3
4.11.10
Dr. Raymond Bryant
As most of you know, I hail from upstate NY where I attended mainstreamed schools. I have to share with you about one individual in the school district that I came across.
The name is Dr. Raymond Bryant. He was the superintendent in the school district. Little history about him; He received Doctor of Philosophy, Educational Administration from the University of Maryland. Before being ECSD superintendent, he was:
-Associate superintendent for Special Education Reform, Washington, DC
-Associate superintendent, director of special education services, principal, coordinator of special education, teacher and speech pathologist
-Taught at universities including Gallaudet, James Madison, and George Mason.
Gallaudet?! You heard it right. I was excited when he came, because I heard that fact and his background with special education. I am NOT special education but I thought he would have better understanding of the needs, boy was I wrong. I had too much of high exceptions for Dr. Bryant. He was the BIGGEST disappointment to the area.
High number of citizens wanted him out, and he recently resigned in 2009 so I'm sure there was a huge party celebrating that. Rumors are that he resigned for stealing money from the District and shredding documents. Who knows?
First action that he did that disappointed me greatly was cutting ASL classes from our school district. We had ASL classes at my high school. My brother was going to take that class as well some relatives. My cousin already begun ASL I and was about to go onto ASL II & ASL III when the program got cut. Dr. Bryant felt like it wasn't worth it to keep the program. There were even rebelling from community to keep ASL programs in the schools. I remember that incident so well because it caused a uproar. I wrote a letter to the local newspaper with help of my father to express my feelings about the cutting of ASL programs. The school had French, Spanish, and German. Come on, seriously how many French-speaking and German-speaking people you come across? ASL is one of top 5 most common language used in America among with Spanish. It would make more sense to cut German and replace it with ASL in relation of statistics with which languages are most common used.
I graduate from my high school in June 2007. At my high school graduation ceremony, everyone had to go up on the stage to receive their diplomas and shake hands with four people. The four people were Principal Chris Krantz, Assistant Principals Tim Hassen & Margaret Thurber, and of course, Dr. Bryant.
I was so mad at myself for not standing up to Dr. Bryant at the graduation ceremony, because he had been asking every graduates what their future goals were. I shook hands with Krantz and went over to Dr. Bryant. Krantz followed me to Dr. Bryant and reminded him that I was deaf. I already was aware that Bryant was asking all graduates that question. I should have signed to him "RIT" to emphasize how important it is to keep ASL in the schools. Heck, Bryant should know some sign language anyways if he had previously "worked" at Gallaudet. Krantz also should have not reminded Bryant that I was deaf anyways because Bryant already knew who I was because my hometown is a small town and I have had encounters with him where we had to communicate. When I shook hands with him, it was clear that he didn't recall who I was. It was very disappointing that someone I held expectations for to end up to be a huge disappointment to the area.
The name is Dr. Raymond Bryant. He was the superintendent in the school district. Little history about him; He received Doctor of Philosophy, Educational Administration from the University of Maryland. Before being ECSD superintendent, he was:
-Associate superintendent for Special Education Reform, Washington, DC
-Associate superintendent, director of special education services, principal, coordinator of special education, teacher and speech pathologist
-Taught at universities including Gallaudet, James Madison, and George Mason.
Gallaudet?! You heard it right. I was excited when he came, because I heard that fact and his background with special education. I am NOT special education but I thought he would have better understanding of the needs, boy was I wrong. I had too much of high exceptions for Dr. Bryant. He was the BIGGEST disappointment to the area.
High number of citizens wanted him out, and he recently resigned in 2009 so I'm sure there was a huge party celebrating that. Rumors are that he resigned for stealing money from the District and shredding documents. Who knows?
First action that he did that disappointed me greatly was cutting ASL classes from our school district. We had ASL classes at my high school. My brother was going to take that class as well some relatives. My cousin already begun ASL I and was about to go onto ASL II & ASL III when the program got cut. Dr. Bryant felt like it wasn't worth it to keep the program. There were even rebelling from community to keep ASL programs in the schools. I remember that incident so well because it caused a uproar. I wrote a letter to the local newspaper with help of my father to express my feelings about the cutting of ASL programs. The school had French, Spanish, and German. Come on, seriously how many French-speaking and German-speaking people you come across? ASL is one of top 5 most common language used in America among with Spanish. It would make more sense to cut German and replace it with ASL in relation of statistics with which languages are most common used.
I graduate from my high school in June 2007. At my high school graduation ceremony, everyone had to go up on the stage to receive their diplomas and shake hands with four people. The four people were Principal Chris Krantz, Assistant Principals Tim Hassen & Margaret Thurber, and of course, Dr. Bryant.
I was so mad at myself for not standing up to Dr. Bryant at the graduation ceremony, because he had been asking every graduates what their future goals were. I shook hands with Krantz and went over to Dr. Bryant. Krantz followed me to Dr. Bryant and reminded him that I was deaf. I already was aware that Bryant was asking all graduates that question. I should have signed to him "RIT" to emphasize how important it is to keep ASL in the schools. Heck, Bryant should know some sign language anyways if he had previously "worked" at Gallaudet. Krantz also should have not reminded Bryant that I was deaf anyways because Bryant already knew who I was because my hometown is a small town and I have had encounters with him where we had to communicate. When I shook hands with him, it was clear that he didn't recall who I was. It was very disappointing that someone I held expectations for to end up to be a huge disappointment to the area.
26.10.10
Interpreters
I have faced many interpreters in my college lifetime now. Prior to RIT, I only probably had at least 10 interpreters. Now I had numerous. Challenges from interpreters have opened up my eyes and I realize that many people don't realize what us deaf folks go thru with interpreters.
At RIT, most classes would have a team of 2 interpreters who takes turn to interpret every other 15 or 20 minutes. First, its challenging to get used to the interpreters when we settle in our new routines. Everyone assumes that interpreters are all same and that every single deaf person understands every interpreters.
Wrong! There has been bad batch of interpreters I faced. What makes them bad? They miss out too much words which makes me miss out information in the classroom. Or their signing styles. Unprofessional. The list goes on.
I had interpreters that would text or chat with the other interpreter which I really hated. That was distracting when I had interpreters that would chat to each other during class as well making me miss out information.
Distractions from interpreters also are included. What kind distractions there possibly be?
1) I have had many male interpreters lately, and it is a huge distraction when they wear tight pants. C'mon. You can paint that picture.
2) Same as above related to female interpreters. Tight shirts, low cut shirts, tight pants/skirt, too short skirts, etc.
3) I once had a tiny petite female interpreter with HUGE breasts. She never wore low cut or fitting shirts but it still was distracting.
4) Interpreters with really bad eye sights that their glasses have double lens. It is distracting when we, deaf folks have to look at the eye while reading their signs.
5) I once had interpreter that looked more like a con man. He had that light blue shirt with pants which made it look like prison uniform. His hairdo matched the look of a con man as well.
6) Attitude. I had diva interpreters, I had tough interpreters, I had feminine interpreters, etc.
7) Many male interpreters are likely to be gay (NOT ALL) and I have come across some feminine type of gay interpreters who would sign in a feminine way. It is very distracting because it doesn't match with them being dudes.
8) Tattoos. I had interpreter with covered arms. Who the heck hired her? Piercings as well, I experienced one interpreter with multiple piercings on her ears - she had this bed spring style earring that went in all holes. Stretched ears are also distracting.
9) I had an interpreter who freely shared with me that she had a lot domestic violence situations at her home which resulted in her having a lot scars and bruises. No bother to cover them up with make up or something.
10) Hair coloring/hair do/etc. My interpreter showed up to class with pink streaks in her hair. She also was wearing it in pigtails style. It looked like she came from a performance where she had to dress up her hair like that straight to a Prosecution class.
People don't realize what we go through with interpreters. It may seem simple to read their signing and get on with life. That's just one huge challenging part of being deaf.
At RIT, most classes would have a team of 2 interpreters who takes turn to interpret every other 15 or 20 minutes. First, its challenging to get used to the interpreters when we settle in our new routines. Everyone assumes that interpreters are all same and that every single deaf person understands every interpreters.
Wrong! There has been bad batch of interpreters I faced. What makes them bad? They miss out too much words which makes me miss out information in the classroom. Or their signing styles. Unprofessional. The list goes on.
I had interpreters that would text or chat with the other interpreter which I really hated. That was distracting when I had interpreters that would chat to each other during class as well making me miss out information.
Distractions from interpreters also are included. What kind distractions there possibly be?
1) I have had many male interpreters lately, and it is a huge distraction when they wear tight pants. C'mon. You can paint that picture.
2) Same as above related to female interpreters. Tight shirts, low cut shirts, tight pants/skirt, too short skirts, etc.
3) I once had a tiny petite female interpreter with HUGE breasts. She never wore low cut or fitting shirts but it still was distracting.
4) Interpreters with really bad eye sights that their glasses have double lens. It is distracting when we, deaf folks have to look at the eye while reading their signs.
5) I once had interpreter that looked more like a con man. He had that light blue shirt with pants which made it look like prison uniform. His hairdo matched the look of a con man as well.
6) Attitude. I had diva interpreters, I had tough interpreters, I had feminine interpreters, etc.
7) Many male interpreters are likely to be gay (NOT ALL) and I have come across some feminine type of gay interpreters who would sign in a feminine way. It is very distracting because it doesn't match with them being dudes.
8) Tattoos. I had interpreter with covered arms. Who the heck hired her? Piercings as well, I experienced one interpreter with multiple piercings on her ears - she had this bed spring style earring that went in all holes. Stretched ears are also distracting.
9) I had an interpreter who freely shared with me that she had a lot domestic violence situations at her home which resulted in her having a lot scars and bruises. No bother to cover them up with make up or something.
10) Hair coloring/hair do/etc. My interpreter showed up to class with pink streaks in her hair. She also was wearing it in pigtails style. It looked like she came from a performance where she had to dress up her hair like that straight to a Prosecution class.
People don't realize what we go through with interpreters. It may seem simple to read their signing and get on with life. That's just one huge challenging part of being deaf.
22.10.10
Sgt. Anthony Wallace
Hello folks, I know I have been gone from this blog for a while. I apologize for that. I have obviously got busy with my studies. My senior year is really overwhelming. I came back to the school year with strong goals to go to law school, only to realize I had short time of preparation for that. I decided to hold it off because I lost the motivation since I felt like I was being rushed. I also wasn't 100% sure if the courts system is really the area I want to pursue, as I have many other areas of criminal justice that I am passionate about. Exciting news, RIT had a club called Criminal Justice Student Association which kinda shut down over past few years due to lack of interest - CJSA just came back this year. I am the Vice President of Programming. I am thrilled about that position, as it will bring me wonderful experiences.
Speaking of criminal justice, The RIT community lost an amazing person by the name of Anthony Wallace back in August due to being shot while on duty as a police officer. He was a police officer in Hoonah, Alaska. He is hard of hearing. He graduated from RIT, and then worked as a Public Safety Officer at RIT til 2007, when he went to Alaska. I came to RIT with no belief that I would be able to pursue my dreams due to the limitations with my deafness. It wasn't until my interpreter in my law enforcement class (Corruption in Law Enforcement) told me about Anthony Wallace. That was the day a lot things changed for me.
Anthony Wallace. That name is a tattoo in my head. I couldn't believe there was actually a hard of hearing police officer. I was floored by that fact and I was amazed by his accomplishments. That name forever changed my mind frame and my future life goals by giving me so much more motivation.
I could not tell you how DEVASTATING it was to open up my RIT e-mail to find a message about Tony's passing in the past August. I cried all night. I was visiting my boyfriend in Connecticut so he comforted me for the longest time. I kept thinking how it could happen to Tony. Yesterday, RIT held a memorial service for Tony which I attended. It was beautiful service, and it definitely showed who Tony was. The kind guy that everyone loved. He really lived his life to the fullest, and went after his dreams regardless of the challenges he faced. He is a huge inspiration in my life that I will never forget. He will be my constant reminder to pursue my dreams to do what I really love.
Rest in peace, Sgt. Tony Wallace - forever my inspiration, forever alive in my heart.
Speaking of criminal justice, The RIT community lost an amazing person by the name of Anthony Wallace back in August due to being shot while on duty as a police officer. He was a police officer in Hoonah, Alaska. He is hard of hearing. He graduated from RIT, and then worked as a Public Safety Officer at RIT til 2007, when he went to Alaska. I came to RIT with no belief that I would be able to pursue my dreams due to the limitations with my deafness. It wasn't until my interpreter in my law enforcement class (Corruption in Law Enforcement) told me about Anthony Wallace. That was the day a lot things changed for me.
Anthony Wallace. That name is a tattoo in my head. I couldn't believe there was actually a hard of hearing police officer. I was floored by that fact and I was amazed by his accomplishments. That name forever changed my mind frame and my future life goals by giving me so much more motivation.
I could not tell you how DEVASTATING it was to open up my RIT e-mail to find a message about Tony's passing in the past August. I cried all night. I was visiting my boyfriend in Connecticut so he comforted me for the longest time. I kept thinking how it could happen to Tony. Yesterday, RIT held a memorial service for Tony which I attended. It was beautiful service, and it definitely showed who Tony was. The kind guy that everyone loved. He really lived his life to the fullest, and went after his dreams regardless of the challenges he faced. He is a huge inspiration in my life that I will never forget. He will be my constant reminder to pursue my dreams to do what I really love.
Rest in peace, Sgt. Tony Wallace - forever my inspiration, forever alive in my heart.
12.9.10
The ultimate role model
I have met the ultimate role model of teachers. I never analyzed what would make the best teacher, other than the common answers (i.e. the one who cares about students, etc). In my 2nd year of college, I approached the criminal justice department to transfer into their program from the arts program. I met my advisor, Professor Gravitz. She apparently was only professor on the criminal justice board that was advocate for the deaf community. She held other job which was advocating for the deaf, lawyer, rabbi, and I don't know what else.
Professor Gravitz also taught several criminal justice courses at RIT as well. I took three courses with her, which were Concept in Criminal Law, Computer Crime, and Cyberlaw. The Concept in Criminal Law class was first one and I was just blew away by her teaching method. Why was that? The professor, herself had been hearing but already a huge advocate for the deaf community so she knew sign language. Rumors is that she had been an interpreter at one point too.
In the classes she teaches, she signs for herself. The deaf students still have to request interpreters to voice for us. Some students still request C-Print as alternative method if they don't know sign language or don't understand her specific signing ways. C-Print is captioning on laptop - student(s) has a laptop propped up in front of them while someone is sitting on the side of classroom typing everything the professor says. It is almost like TV captioning.
Professor Gravitz is the ultimate role model of what every teacher should be like at RIT. There is a large deaf community so I feel it is necessary for every professor to know some sign language. I was the most comfortable in Gravitz's courses. I never had been the type to speak up in classes to participate in discussions or ask/answer questions, however that wasn't the issue in her classes.
She was aware of the deaf's needs and she fit so perfectly in the ultimate teacher for the deaf community. For example, she signed for herself making us more comfortable to be in mainstreamed classes, and I didn't feel like I was "the deaf student". The C-Print people who types captioning cannot go the full class time (1 hr 50 min) so there usually is a second person that shows up for the 2nd hour to complete C-printing. Gravitz often pauses the class at that time to allow them switch places without the C-print students missing a word. In other classes, most often the students will miss at least 5 minutes of what teachers said while the C-print people switched positions. This gave me the impression of Professor Gravitz having that knowledge of the needs with deaf community, it shows that she truly cared for us. I don't feel that impression from the other teachers. Other professors may do care but their way of showing it may not be similar or they don't have the full knowledge or understanding. I am honored to have that experience of being in her classes as well having her as my professor. Professor Gravitz comes highly recommended!
Professor Gravitz also taught several criminal justice courses at RIT as well. I took three courses with her, which were Concept in Criminal Law, Computer Crime, and Cyberlaw. The Concept in Criminal Law class was first one and I was just blew away by her teaching method. Why was that? The professor, herself had been hearing but already a huge advocate for the deaf community so she knew sign language. Rumors is that she had been an interpreter at one point too.
In the classes she teaches, she signs for herself. The deaf students still have to request interpreters to voice for us. Some students still request C-Print as alternative method if they don't know sign language or don't understand her specific signing ways. C-Print is captioning on laptop - student(s) has a laptop propped up in front of them while someone is sitting on the side of classroom typing everything the professor says. It is almost like TV captioning.
Professor Gravitz is the ultimate role model of what every teacher should be like at RIT. There is a large deaf community so I feel it is necessary for every professor to know some sign language. I was the most comfortable in Gravitz's courses. I never had been the type to speak up in classes to participate in discussions or ask/answer questions, however that wasn't the issue in her classes.
She was aware of the deaf's needs and she fit so perfectly in the ultimate teacher for the deaf community. For example, she signed for herself making us more comfortable to be in mainstreamed classes, and I didn't feel like I was "the deaf student". The C-Print people who types captioning cannot go the full class time (1 hr 50 min) so there usually is a second person that shows up for the 2nd hour to complete C-printing. Gravitz often pauses the class at that time to allow them switch places without the C-print students missing a word. In other classes, most often the students will miss at least 5 minutes of what teachers said while the C-print people switched positions. This gave me the impression of Professor Gravitz having that knowledge of the needs with deaf community, it shows that she truly cared for us. I don't feel that impression from the other teachers. Other professors may do care but their way of showing it may not be similar or they don't have the full knowledge or understanding. I am honored to have that experience of being in her classes as well having her as my professor. Professor Gravitz comes highly recommended!
8.9.10
Back to School
September only means one thing. Back to School. Hooray.
I am officially done with my first days of classes for my undergrad college years ever. It's an awesome feeling. Even better when I will be at that point when I'm 5 weeks away from graduation in May. It's weird to think I'm already a senior. College flew by. I have many regrets that I didn't live up the years, but yet have good memories that I will hang onto.
Ok, my first day of classes on Monday & Tuesday were interesting. Why? One of my classes for Monday & Wednesday is Deaf Arts & Cinema. My professor for that class is deaf, with a mainstreamed class of hearing and deaf students. Majority of hearing students are usually the interpreter major students. I have had this kind of class with a deaf professor with mainstreamed classes for second time now. It's interesting perspective for hearing student to be enrolled in that class because they're the ONE who needs interpreters. Imagine that! I think every single hearing person should have that kind experience at least once, because that's what the deaf community is faced with on daily basis. What a better experience than to put themselves in deaf people's shoes? I also have a night class on Mondays. I am the only deaf person in that class with a team of 2 interpreters that changes every 15-20 minutes (it can be challenging to sign for 4 hours straight). I always feel awkward to use sign language even through the students are familiar with deaf community's existence on the campus but yet I still feel that feeling every single class I have took in college.
Tuesday's classes are different from Monday's (Monday's class is only every Monday & Wednesdays... Tuesday's is every Tues & Thurs). I had three classes on Tuesday. First class was Irish Step Dance. I always wanted to take that to learn my heritage (Irish) dance. I cannot tell you how difficult it is for interpreters in P.E. courses. P.E. courses are usually physically moving with exercising in some kind of forms, right? Dance often have 'steps' that are counted. I cannot look at the interpreter to see what count, because I have to look at the instructor and follow what she's doing. It is challenging for me in P.E. classes. Some deaf people don't even request interpreters for P.E. classes due to that challenge, they do mostly focusing on the instructors. I want to learn every possible thing so I don't want to miss a single thing which is why I have an interpreter.
My other two classes were criminal justice courses for my major on Tuesday. Both classes are mainstreamed with team of interpreters just like Monday's night class. This is the usual setup for the majority of my classes at RIT. I noticed something interesting in comparison of the professors in both classes. The first class- the professor had handouts to the students of the syllabus. Interpreters usually want a copy to be aware of what the professor will be discussing about. I was impressed that the professor handed them a copy. Meanwhile, the professor in second class did not. That would give me the impression of which professors are more helpful to the deaf community like I would be more comfortable to ask for help or whatever else with the first class's professor rather than the second class. Little things like that can build up my comfortability level with professors, people, etc.
I had several professors that were either very deaf friendly, somewhat friendly, or not at all. It was challenging to be in the courses with not so deaf-friendly professors. Deaf-friendly is when someone is aware of the deaf's needs in the classroom, work with the access team (interpreters, notetakers, etc), and work with the students with no issues of communication. Not so friendly professors would basically ignore deaf students the whole class term. I had classes when professors never would call on me which I liked but the problem is, it would take away participation for the grades. It was difficult to be in these kind classes because I would have to make the effort to participate. I even faced a class when every time I raised my hand to participate, the professor would ignore me or call on me if students call out to him that I had something to say. Humiliating. It makes me feel horrible about myself but it's really the professors. Just because RIT has large deaf community doesn't mean everyone likes deaf people.
Coming next: The ultimate role model of what all professors should be at RIT.
I am officially done with my first days of classes for my undergrad college years ever. It's an awesome feeling. Even better when I will be at that point when I'm 5 weeks away from graduation in May. It's weird to think I'm already a senior. College flew by. I have many regrets that I didn't live up the years, but yet have good memories that I will hang onto.
Ok, my first day of classes on Monday & Tuesday were interesting. Why? One of my classes for Monday & Wednesday is Deaf Arts & Cinema. My professor for that class is deaf, with a mainstreamed class of hearing and deaf students. Majority of hearing students are usually the interpreter major students. I have had this kind of class with a deaf professor with mainstreamed classes for second time now. It's interesting perspective for hearing student to be enrolled in that class because they're the ONE who needs interpreters. Imagine that! I think every single hearing person should have that kind experience at least once, because that's what the deaf community is faced with on daily basis. What a better experience than to put themselves in deaf people's shoes? I also have a night class on Mondays. I am the only deaf person in that class with a team of 2 interpreters that changes every 15-20 minutes (it can be challenging to sign for 4 hours straight). I always feel awkward to use sign language even through the students are familiar with deaf community's existence on the campus but yet I still feel that feeling every single class I have took in college.
Tuesday's classes are different from Monday's (Monday's class is only every Monday & Wednesdays... Tuesday's is every Tues & Thurs). I had three classes on Tuesday. First class was Irish Step Dance. I always wanted to take that to learn my heritage (Irish) dance. I cannot tell you how difficult it is for interpreters in P.E. courses. P.E. courses are usually physically moving with exercising in some kind of forms, right? Dance often have 'steps' that are counted. I cannot look at the interpreter to see what count, because I have to look at the instructor and follow what she's doing. It is challenging for me in P.E. classes. Some deaf people don't even request interpreters for P.E. classes due to that challenge, they do mostly focusing on the instructors. I want to learn every possible thing so I don't want to miss a single thing which is why I have an interpreter.
My other two classes were criminal justice courses for my major on Tuesday. Both classes are mainstreamed with team of interpreters just like Monday's night class. This is the usual setup for the majority of my classes at RIT. I noticed something interesting in comparison of the professors in both classes. The first class- the professor had handouts to the students of the syllabus. Interpreters usually want a copy to be aware of what the professor will be discussing about. I was impressed that the professor handed them a copy. Meanwhile, the professor in second class did not. That would give me the impression of which professors are more helpful to the deaf community like I would be more comfortable to ask for help or whatever else with the first class's professor rather than the second class. Little things like that can build up my comfortability level with professors, people, etc.
I had several professors that were either very deaf friendly, somewhat friendly, or not at all. It was challenging to be in the courses with not so deaf-friendly professors. Deaf-friendly is when someone is aware of the deaf's needs in the classroom, work with the access team (interpreters, notetakers, etc), and work with the students with no issues of communication. Not so friendly professors would basically ignore deaf students the whole class term. I had classes when professors never would call on me which I liked but the problem is, it would take away participation for the grades. It was difficult to be in these kind classes because I would have to make the effort to participate. I even faced a class when every time I raised my hand to participate, the professor would ignore me or call on me if students call out to him that I had something to say. Humiliating. It makes me feel horrible about myself but it's really the professors. Just because RIT has large deaf community doesn't mean everyone likes deaf people.
Coming next: The ultimate role model of what all professors should be at RIT.
21.8.10
Jersey Shore
I am just back from fist pumpin' with Ronnie, Vinny, The Situation, Pauly D, JWoww, Sammi, and Snooki. My family took a vacation to the Jersey Shore before going back to school/work for a long time.
So many things happened in Jersey that I wanted to blog about. I couldn't believe many things that I saw. Pretty much all of these were from the boardwalk.
First, there had been a tram car going up and down the boardwalk carrying lazy people, and they are driving it on the boardwalk WHERE people are actually walking. I was amazed to see that they had no kind of signal on the tram to let deaf people know they were coming up from behind. They kept announcing, "Watch the tram car please", repeatedly. Ok what about people who can't hear that? The boardwalk t-shirt stores had a joke shirt about tram cars, which had an image of a duck being hit by the tram car. It could've been a deaf person. I was amazed at this, and I really wanted to test it out to walk in their way to see what they would have done. And give them that slap in the face that I'm deaf.
The boardwalk stores, what a pain in the arse. We all know how the workers of boardwalk stores are. There was loud announcements about their rip-off deals or music blaring. How do you communicate with that?! My mom is hard of hearing, and had to practically yell at them to talk. Who was the genius that said it was ok to blast music in stores everywhere nationwide?
Also in one store, I was looking at the tee's designs because they are fun to look at. One guy came up to ask me if I needed help, in which my dad who was with me at the time replied to him that I didn't. About 10 minutes later, the same guy approached me again talking to me the entire time behind my back while I was alone (my mom came in middle of it when she came to ask me something). What part of "she's deaf" you didn't understand? I have came across that before in my life. People hear that I am deaf, they either keep talking to me like that's impossible for anyone to be deaf, and/or talk louder (yes, even maybe YELL). Really? If they can't understand that I am still deaf and nothing will change, I'd say for those people to go back to school, IDIOTS.
So many things happened in Jersey that I wanted to blog about. I couldn't believe many things that I saw. Pretty much all of these were from the boardwalk.
First, there had been a tram car going up and down the boardwalk carrying lazy people, and they are driving it on the boardwalk WHERE people are actually walking. I was amazed to see that they had no kind of signal on the tram to let deaf people know they were coming up from behind. They kept announcing, "Watch the tram car please", repeatedly. Ok what about people who can't hear that? The boardwalk t-shirt stores had a joke shirt about tram cars, which had an image of a duck being hit by the tram car. It could've been a deaf person. I was amazed at this, and I really wanted to test it out to walk in their way to see what they would have done. And give them that slap in the face that I'm deaf.
The boardwalk stores, what a pain in the arse. We all know how the workers of boardwalk stores are. There was loud announcements about their rip-off deals or music blaring. How do you communicate with that?! My mom is hard of hearing, and had to practically yell at them to talk. Who was the genius that said it was ok to blast music in stores everywhere nationwide?
Also in one store, I was looking at the tee's designs because they are fun to look at. One guy came up to ask me if I needed help, in which my dad who was with me at the time replied to him that I didn't. About 10 minutes later, the same guy approached me again talking to me the entire time behind my back while I was alone (my mom came in middle of it when she came to ask me something). What part of "she's deaf" you didn't understand? I have came across that before in my life. People hear that I am deaf, they either keep talking to me like that's impossible for anyone to be deaf, and/or talk louder (yes, even maybe YELL). Really? If they can't understand that I am still deaf and nothing will change, I'd say for those people to go back to school, IDIOTS.
15.8.10
Is the sand real?
Earlier today I strolled down memory lane with my mom and brother. My brother had brought up a quite funny memory that occurred in Williamsburg, VA which I thought to share with all of you. My family had went on the traditional summer family vacation to Williamsburg, VA out of interest with the colonial days history and Busch Gardens.
This particular memory had occurred at a museum, I do not remember the name. The only thing I remember about it was the colonial history of Virginia. There was only one part of the entire museum that I remember so well.
This exhibit had been a beach scene (don't remember why)... with the whole set up with beach theme, sand, etc. My brother and I had went up to the display. My brother was perhaps 10 years old at the time. My brother had the curiosity of whether the sand was real or not. I was standing right next to him, with a sign in both of our faces that clearly stated, "Do not touch the display".
My brother had touched the sand, then he walked off to my parents while I stood there still looking at the beach scenery display. When I turned around to meet rest of my family, I was faced by a staring audience. Why were these people staring at me?
I wandered clueless to my family. As we left that exhibit area, I had found out that the alarm went off when my brother touched the sand on display. It made a buzzing noise that lasted a few minutes which apparently got people's attention. Unfortunately, it wasn't good for me being deaf at that time as my brother left me there to take the blame and be stared down by people.
Funny? Someday I'll have a huge revenge lined up for him :) Of course, out of sibling love.
By the way, the sand wasn't real.
This particular memory had occurred at a museum, I do not remember the name. The only thing I remember about it was the colonial history of Virginia. There was only one part of the entire museum that I remember so well.
This exhibit had been a beach scene (don't remember why)... with the whole set up with beach theme, sand, etc. My brother and I had went up to the display. My brother was perhaps 10 years old at the time. My brother had the curiosity of whether the sand was real or not. I was standing right next to him, with a sign in both of our faces that clearly stated, "Do not touch the display".
My brother had touched the sand, then he walked off to my parents while I stood there still looking at the beach scenery display. When I turned around to meet rest of my family, I was faced by a staring audience. Why were these people staring at me?
I wandered clueless to my family. As we left that exhibit area, I had found out that the alarm went off when my brother touched the sand on display. It made a buzzing noise that lasted a few minutes which apparently got people's attention. Unfortunately, it wasn't good for me being deaf at that time as my brother left me there to take the blame and be stared down by people.
Funny? Someday I'll have a huge revenge lined up for him :) Of course, out of sibling love.
By the way, the sand wasn't real.
3.8.10
"Miss! I'll take that cart!"
Today I went to a store to get a pair of this high heels I've been craving to get. Once I walked out of the store (of course, after purchasing the shoes), the store alarm went off.
Now, that's one thing about being in Rochester with the awareness of deaf community. I walked out, and I always have the tendency to walk slow anyways ONLY because of that. A lady pushing her baby in a stroller motioned me to look behind me which I did and the cashier apparently forgot to remove the security sticker on shoe box.
I experienced this in my hometown at Victoria's Secret store. I walked out after purchasing several things from the semi annual sale (yay!) and the alarm went off. Of course I didn't know, and kept walking. Later on, there had been two ladies that I knew through my mom in the store when the alarm went off and apparently the cashier yelled non stop at me while I wandered off clueless. That's what I despite. People always assume that EVERYONE is hearing. You can not always depend on that. After hearing that, my immediate reaction was that I felt humiliated for being that clueless girl walking off from someone yelling. I shouldn't even be feeling humiliated, when it should be that cashier girl from Victoria's Secret because she is the one who yelled at a deaf person!
I cannot say how many incidents I've came across in my entire life when people assumed that I was hearing. Another incident that I recall was at the grocery store parking lot, where I was walking the cart to the drop-off area for carts. An older man was yelling at me "Miss, I will take that cart", "Miss!" then after several attempts he yelled "Jesus Christ!" which at that point, my mom heard him and yelled "SHE'S DEAF!". I recall turning around after dropping off the cart, the only thing I saw was that man raising his hands in the air out of frustration but I had no idea. Then I saw my mom yelling at him, then I saw his face sulk from the expression of being frustrated. He apparently was embarrassed and continued walking towards the store.
Also in Virginia on a family vacation, I was using the computer at the guest house office at my hotel resort. My brother was sitting on the couch behind the computer desk where I was IM-ing my friends. At that time, I was perhaps 15 years old. A girl who was around my age came in, and I was focused on IM-ing with my friends, clueless that she had begun to talk to me. She was asking how much longer I would be on the computer. After getting no response from me, she said "whatever" with an attitude and stormed out of the room which got my attention. I looked at my brother in confusion and my brother told me what happened. Although, my brother sat there and didn't say anything... I was upset at him that he didn't put the slap in her face that I was deaf.
How am I suppose to feel every time these incidents occur? It always make me feel like it is my fault, after all I am the deaf person. This wouldn't have occurred if I was hearing. This kind incidents have always brought me down because it makes me feel like it is my fault and it also keeps shoving the fact that I am different in my face. For these people that did got the slap in their faces that I am deaf, who knows if it changed their perspective? I think people may forget after a while, and go back to doing the same thing - assuming that everyone is hearing.
Now, that's one thing about being in Rochester with the awareness of deaf community. I walked out, and I always have the tendency to walk slow anyways ONLY because of that. A lady pushing her baby in a stroller motioned me to look behind me which I did and the cashier apparently forgot to remove the security sticker on shoe box.
I experienced this in my hometown at Victoria's Secret store. I walked out after purchasing several things from the semi annual sale (yay!) and the alarm went off. Of course I didn't know, and kept walking. Later on, there had been two ladies that I knew through my mom in the store when the alarm went off and apparently the cashier yelled non stop at me while I wandered off clueless. That's what I despite. People always assume that EVERYONE is hearing. You can not always depend on that. After hearing that, my immediate reaction was that I felt humiliated for being that clueless girl walking off from someone yelling. I shouldn't even be feeling humiliated, when it should be that cashier girl from Victoria's Secret because she is the one who yelled at a deaf person!
I cannot say how many incidents I've came across in my entire life when people assumed that I was hearing. Another incident that I recall was at the grocery store parking lot, where I was walking the cart to the drop-off area for carts. An older man was yelling at me "Miss, I will take that cart", "Miss!" then after several attempts he yelled "Jesus Christ!" which at that point, my mom heard him and yelled "SHE'S DEAF!". I recall turning around after dropping off the cart, the only thing I saw was that man raising his hands in the air out of frustration but I had no idea. Then I saw my mom yelling at him, then I saw his face sulk from the expression of being frustrated. He apparently was embarrassed and continued walking towards the store.
Also in Virginia on a family vacation, I was using the computer at the guest house office at my hotel resort. My brother was sitting on the couch behind the computer desk where I was IM-ing my friends. At that time, I was perhaps 15 years old. A girl who was around my age came in, and I was focused on IM-ing with my friends, clueless that she had begun to talk to me. She was asking how much longer I would be on the computer. After getting no response from me, she said "whatever" with an attitude and stormed out of the room which got my attention. I looked at my brother in confusion and my brother told me what happened. Although, my brother sat there and didn't say anything... I was upset at him that he didn't put the slap in her face that I was deaf.
How am I suppose to feel every time these incidents occur? It always make me feel like it is my fault, after all I am the deaf person. This wouldn't have occurred if I was hearing. This kind incidents have always brought me down because it makes me feel like it is my fault and it also keeps shoving the fact that I am different in my face. For these people that did got the slap in their faces that I am deaf, who knows if it changed their perspective? I think people may forget after a while, and go back to doing the same thing - assuming that everyone is hearing.
25.7.10
My home is in Heaven. I'm just traveling through this world.
The question of where my home is has been analyzed for several years now. The definition of home is place of residence. Some people may follow by the quote, "Home is where the heart is", or determine their home to be where their families/love are.
All of my life growing up in the Finger Lakes Region in Upstate NY, I felt like it was home because of family. My house was the comfort zone from the surrounding hearing world that I had to face daily. When I don't want to socialize with hearing people due to frustration, my home was the place to isolate myself. I felt comfortable in my home, because it was the only place I felt comfortable to be myself. My family helped that to be possible. I have close relationship with each one in my family, and I couldn't imagine any better. Even through I come from an entirely hearing family, with myself being the only deaf person, doesn't always mean 100% understanding from my family. No hearing person would understand 100% about a deaf person's life. My family did their best to understand as much as possible, to help me by facing challenges with me, communicate with me using sign language, etc.
My first year away from home in Rochester at college, I started feeling doubts about where my "real" home was. I was so comfortable among deaf people who understood me and my lifestyle because they shared it with me. Although, I disconnected myself from the deaf world at the end of my freshman year, I was determined that my real home was still in the Finger Lakes Region where my family were.
Through out more of my years at college, I still pondered about that question of home, and analyzing into it. For the longest time, I didn't know where my real home was. As the title of this blog state, "My home is in Heaven. I'm just traveling through this world", fits perfectly to how I used to feel.
Did you hear it right? How I used to feel. As in I know now?
Yes, my true home in my heart, is Rochester.
I hold a deep connection to Rochester, because through many ups and downs, I realized how I really did love Rochester. I am still disconnected from the deaf world to this day, but I love how Rochester is very aware of the deaf community. I mention that hearing world is the reality because everywhere I go, I will have encounters with hearing world. Not all hearing people in Rochester knows sign language, but they are familiar with the "deaf accent", and alternative communication methods (pen-n-paper, etc.). The huge difference between my hometown and Rochester is the reactions from people in the public. When I go to Pizza Hut in my hometown, I always bring a paper that says "Pick up for (name)". Almost immediately the worker would look at me to analyze why I had that on a paper. I don't always step up to say that I am deaf. They act like they would treat a disabled person or a kid. They look at me with sympathy in their eyes. Sometimes, when I voice "thank-you", I get a startled reaction as in "You really can talk?". In my hometown, I almost always have to carry paper to write, but in Rochester I don't have to worry about that. I NEVER carry paper. At one of the most delicious subs restaurant in Rochester, DiBella's Old Fashioned Submarines, they always have a paper with options of what they offer to create subs available for deaf people to fill out and give to the sub maker. It is the same for all dining services on campus at RIT, with papers of option to circle for deaf people to request whatever food they desire.
I feel more comfortable to be myself in Rochester, more than in my hometown. My hometown treats me like I am an alien. In Rochester, I am just one of thousand deaf people that resides there. People are aware of deaf community. I don't have to worry about reactions. In my hometown, I even target specific places where I feel comfortable to go because the frequent I go there, the more familiar they will be with me. There are places I refuse to go to because of a certain worker there. I have a feeling of dreading when I have to go to someplace new.
Both of my hometown and Rochester has the chain grocery store, Wegman's. In my hometown, I usually determine a line to use by the age of the cashier. More younger they are, the more they might be aware of the deaf people existence. The older people are usually the ones who make me feel like I shouldn't exist, because they always show a form of sympathy like my deafness is such a horrid thing to live with. Do I worry about the cashiers at Wegman's in Rochester? Not at all.
I am finally to pin point Rochester as my true home, however I am in love with someone. I once experienced both, my love and being home in Rochester, at same time and I was the most truly happiest I've ever been in so long. If I had both in Rochester forever, that will be blissfully happiness for me but it is out of my control. Only the future will determine that.
All of my life growing up in the Finger Lakes Region in Upstate NY, I felt like it was home because of family. My house was the comfort zone from the surrounding hearing world that I had to face daily. When I don't want to socialize with hearing people due to frustration, my home was the place to isolate myself. I felt comfortable in my home, because it was the only place I felt comfortable to be myself. My family helped that to be possible. I have close relationship with each one in my family, and I couldn't imagine any better. Even through I come from an entirely hearing family, with myself being the only deaf person, doesn't always mean 100% understanding from my family. No hearing person would understand 100% about a deaf person's life. My family did their best to understand as much as possible, to help me by facing challenges with me, communicate with me using sign language, etc.
My first year away from home in Rochester at college, I started feeling doubts about where my "real" home was. I was so comfortable among deaf people who understood me and my lifestyle because they shared it with me. Although, I disconnected myself from the deaf world at the end of my freshman year, I was determined that my real home was still in the Finger Lakes Region where my family were.
Through out more of my years at college, I still pondered about that question of home, and analyzing into it. For the longest time, I didn't know where my real home was. As the title of this blog state, "My home is in Heaven. I'm just traveling through this world", fits perfectly to how I used to feel.
Did you hear it right? How I used to feel. As in I know now?
Yes, my true home in my heart, is Rochester.
I hold a deep connection to Rochester, because through many ups and downs, I realized how I really did love Rochester. I am still disconnected from the deaf world to this day, but I love how Rochester is very aware of the deaf community. I mention that hearing world is the reality because everywhere I go, I will have encounters with hearing world. Not all hearing people in Rochester knows sign language, but they are familiar with the "deaf accent", and alternative communication methods (pen-n-paper, etc.). The huge difference between my hometown and Rochester is the reactions from people in the public. When I go to Pizza Hut in my hometown, I always bring a paper that says "Pick up for (name)". Almost immediately the worker would look at me to analyze why I had that on a paper. I don't always step up to say that I am deaf. They act like they would treat a disabled person or a kid. They look at me with sympathy in their eyes. Sometimes, when I voice "thank-you", I get a startled reaction as in "You really can talk?". In my hometown, I almost always have to carry paper to write, but in Rochester I don't have to worry about that. I NEVER carry paper. At one of the most delicious subs restaurant in Rochester, DiBella's Old Fashioned Submarines, they always have a paper with options of what they offer to create subs available for deaf people to fill out and give to the sub maker. It is the same for all dining services on campus at RIT, with papers of option to circle for deaf people to request whatever food they desire.
I feel more comfortable to be myself in Rochester, more than in my hometown. My hometown treats me like I am an alien. In Rochester, I am just one of thousand deaf people that resides there. People are aware of deaf community. I don't have to worry about reactions. In my hometown, I even target specific places where I feel comfortable to go because the frequent I go there, the more familiar they will be with me. There are places I refuse to go to because of a certain worker there. I have a feeling of dreading when I have to go to someplace new.
Both of my hometown and Rochester has the chain grocery store, Wegman's. In my hometown, I usually determine a line to use by the age of the cashier. More younger they are, the more they might be aware of the deaf people existence. The older people are usually the ones who make me feel like I shouldn't exist, because they always show a form of sympathy like my deafness is such a horrid thing to live with. Do I worry about the cashiers at Wegman's in Rochester? Not at all.
I am finally to pin point Rochester as my true home, however I am in love with someone. I once experienced both, my love and being home in Rochester, at same time and I was the most truly happiest I've ever been in so long. If I had both in Rochester forever, that will be blissfully happiness for me but it is out of my control. Only the future will determine that.
Fresh Meat '07
As I promised, a blog (or 4 - one blog per year) about college. I came to RIT in 2007, entering my freshman year. RIT has 8 colleges; Applied Science & Technology, Business, Computing & Information Science, Engineering, Imaging Arts & Sciences, Liberal Arts, National Technical Institute for the Deaf, and Science. In my freshman year, I went to the National Technical Institute for the Deaf (NTID), majoring in Arts & Imaging Science.
The first night of college, I reunited with my friends from the camp I went to at RIT during the summer before my senior year in high school, as well new friends I met during the day. I remember we all explored the residence halls area, and hung out in the lounge watching movies. The first week of college was all orientation for only NTID students, which gave me the chance to explore deaf community for the first time. I recall that I was so eager to have deaf peers my age, and having no problems with communication since all of these friends I made had used sign language.
RIT/NTID runs under a tri quarter system. The first quarter (Fall) had been really great, I explored the deaf community & was able to make many many many deaf friends. I socialized a lot with deaf people. I lost my focus on hearing world for a while because the deaf world was a new world for me. I got caught up in the excitement of it. Since NTID was a college focusing on deaf students, the classes consisted of deaf students as well deaf teachers (most of time). Some teachers may be hearing that has the skill of sign language. The classes were easily accessible for the deaf community.
I joined a "deaf" sorority on campus - Sigma Sigma Sigma - within first 2 weeks of college. Tri Sigma was the only one out of two deaf sororities on campus, but the positive factor of Tri Sigma is that it wasn't entirely deaf. It included members from the hearing world that knew sign language i.e. interpreters or just girls that was willing to learn. What I liked about Tri Sigma is that like RIT, it had both worlds. My first year in Tri Sigma was unforgettable. I got to meet a lot of wonderful ladies that I was proud to call my sisters. I had an amazing big sister who showed the way around Tri Sigma world. Many of the sisters, including my big sister, had opened up a world for me which led me to build even a stronger person. The sorority helped me to reach out to others, make friends, be socializing, become a stronger person, and find myself. Tri Sigma was my family in Rochester that was the support system for me that was there for me anytime.
The freshman year was excellent year with many fond memories that was built from all kinds of experience that I had at RIT. As I mentioned all the positive aspects that I had at RIT, I also faced negative aspects.
When I first came in RIT and exploring the deaf community, I started seeing several kind of identities that existed. I never thought of this. There's the Deaf-power which mostly consists of deaf institute students, deaf students from deaf families, etc. They hold a huge pride of their deafness, therefore are the top subculture group of the deaf community. I faced judgments from the Deaf power students on why I was using my voice and signing ESL (English Sign Language) instead of ASL (American Sign Language). They made it difficult for me to fit in the deaf community, which forced me to seek deaf peers that were like me. Most of these were categorized as Oral-Deaf or Mainstreamed Deaf. Mainstreamed Deaf are the deaf students that may been the only one or came from a small deaf community, that attended mainstreamed school (which I fit in this category). Oral-deaf were similar to the Mainstreamed Deaf but with cochlear implants. Both mainstreamed deaf and oral deaf used mostly ESL (or some ASL) and voice to communicate with hearing people. Deaf power people usually avoid any contact with hearing people until it's necessary i.e. out in public, stores, banks, etc.
I mentioned my experience going to visit the deaf institutes when I was in 7th grade. I mentioned that the education level was off-tracked from the average grade level of regular hearing students for the deaf students. I faced that problem again in college, in NTID. The NTID classes had been really easy for me, and I had time to slack. This caused me to transfer out of the college for the deaf to the College of Liberal Arts to criminal justice major. I forgot to mention that NTID focuses more on associate's degree, not bachelor's degree.
In Spring Quarter, I entered in College of Liberal Arts for the first time. I was back to the life when I was in high school of being in mainstreamed classes with team of support services i.e. interpreters, note takers, etc. Some classes, I might have been the only deaf student. I was happy to be out of NTID, because I was starting to be irritated with the education aspects. I wanted more challenging education that really makes me motivated to work hard and LEARN. This caused me to go back in the hearing world, making hearing friends at RIT. I hadn't have much of socializing with the hearing people since high school, so it wasn't any problem to go back in that lifestyle because that was the one I grew up in.
What I never imagined to happen is that going back in that lifestyle would actually make me miss being in the hearing world. I started to hang out with hearing friends, even dated a hearing guy. Going back to the hearing world, made me lose a lot of my deaf friends that I gained in first two quarters of college. The only ones I had were sisters from Tri Sigma and my best friend. I was disconnected from the deaf community/world.
I also realized that I wanted nothing to do with the deaf community because I didn't like the morals and 'rules' of the deaf community. They also isolated themselves so much that it was like a fantasy world. I had forgotten for a while how life was like in hearing world (which is more of reality). It is important to keep the factors I learned from being in hearing world because hearing world is the reality. We, deaf people, always will face hearing people daily. I thought it would be impossible to be sucked into the deaf world, but it wasn't. I did got sucked in, and I forgot what reality was for a while. Realizing all of that when I went back in hearing world just scared me so much that I disconnected myself from the deaf world (minus Tri Sigma).
I left my freshman year at RIT, only having the Tri Sigma sisters, one deaf best friends, and all the hearing friends that I gained in Spring Quarter back home to Finger Lakes Region in Upstate NY. Back to reality. Back to hearing world. Back to be only deaf person within 2 hours radius. That summer changed me again.
You guessed it, that will be blog #2 about my second year at RIT.
The first night of college, I reunited with my friends from the camp I went to at RIT during the summer before my senior year in high school, as well new friends I met during the day. I remember we all explored the residence halls area, and hung out in the lounge watching movies. The first week of college was all orientation for only NTID students, which gave me the chance to explore deaf community for the first time. I recall that I was so eager to have deaf peers my age, and having no problems with communication since all of these friends I made had used sign language.
RIT/NTID runs under a tri quarter system. The first quarter (Fall) had been really great, I explored the deaf community & was able to make many many many deaf friends. I socialized a lot with deaf people. I lost my focus on hearing world for a while because the deaf world was a new world for me. I got caught up in the excitement of it. Since NTID was a college focusing on deaf students, the classes consisted of deaf students as well deaf teachers (most of time). Some teachers may be hearing that has the skill of sign language. The classes were easily accessible for the deaf community.
I joined a "deaf" sorority on campus - Sigma Sigma Sigma - within first 2 weeks of college. Tri Sigma was the only one out of two deaf sororities on campus, but the positive factor of Tri Sigma is that it wasn't entirely deaf. It included members from the hearing world that knew sign language i.e. interpreters or just girls that was willing to learn. What I liked about Tri Sigma is that like RIT, it had both worlds. My first year in Tri Sigma was unforgettable. I got to meet a lot of wonderful ladies that I was proud to call my sisters. I had an amazing big sister who showed the way around Tri Sigma world. Many of the sisters, including my big sister, had opened up a world for me which led me to build even a stronger person. The sorority helped me to reach out to others, make friends, be socializing, become a stronger person, and find myself. Tri Sigma was my family in Rochester that was the support system for me that was there for me anytime.
The freshman year was excellent year with many fond memories that was built from all kinds of experience that I had at RIT. As I mentioned all the positive aspects that I had at RIT, I also faced negative aspects.
When I first came in RIT and exploring the deaf community, I started seeing several kind of identities that existed. I never thought of this. There's the Deaf-power which mostly consists of deaf institute students, deaf students from deaf families, etc. They hold a huge pride of their deafness, therefore are the top subculture group of the deaf community. I faced judgments from the Deaf power students on why I was using my voice and signing ESL (English Sign Language) instead of ASL (American Sign Language). They made it difficult for me to fit in the deaf community, which forced me to seek deaf peers that were like me. Most of these were categorized as Oral-Deaf or Mainstreamed Deaf. Mainstreamed Deaf are the deaf students that may been the only one or came from a small deaf community, that attended mainstreamed school (which I fit in this category). Oral-deaf were similar to the Mainstreamed Deaf but with cochlear implants. Both mainstreamed deaf and oral deaf used mostly ESL (or some ASL) and voice to communicate with hearing people. Deaf power people usually avoid any contact with hearing people until it's necessary i.e. out in public, stores, banks, etc.
I mentioned my experience going to visit the deaf institutes when I was in 7th grade. I mentioned that the education level was off-tracked from the average grade level of regular hearing students for the deaf students. I faced that problem again in college, in NTID. The NTID classes had been really easy for me, and I had time to slack. This caused me to transfer out of the college for the deaf to the College of Liberal Arts to criminal justice major. I forgot to mention that NTID focuses more on associate's degree, not bachelor's degree.
In Spring Quarter, I entered in College of Liberal Arts for the first time. I was back to the life when I was in high school of being in mainstreamed classes with team of support services i.e. interpreters, note takers, etc. Some classes, I might have been the only deaf student. I was happy to be out of NTID, because I was starting to be irritated with the education aspects. I wanted more challenging education that really makes me motivated to work hard and LEARN. This caused me to go back in the hearing world, making hearing friends at RIT. I hadn't have much of socializing with the hearing people since high school, so it wasn't any problem to go back in that lifestyle because that was the one I grew up in.
What I never imagined to happen is that going back in that lifestyle would actually make me miss being in the hearing world. I started to hang out with hearing friends, even dated a hearing guy. Going back to the hearing world, made me lose a lot of my deaf friends that I gained in first two quarters of college. The only ones I had were sisters from Tri Sigma and my best friend. I was disconnected from the deaf community/world.
I also realized that I wanted nothing to do with the deaf community because I didn't like the morals and 'rules' of the deaf community. They also isolated themselves so much that it was like a fantasy world. I had forgotten for a while how life was like in hearing world (which is more of reality). It is important to keep the factors I learned from being in hearing world because hearing world is the reality. We, deaf people, always will face hearing people daily. I thought it would be impossible to be sucked into the deaf world, but it wasn't. I did got sucked in, and I forgot what reality was for a while. Realizing all of that when I went back in hearing world just scared me so much that I disconnected myself from the deaf world (minus Tri Sigma).
I left my freshman year at RIT, only having the Tri Sigma sisters, one deaf best friends, and all the hearing friends that I gained in Spring Quarter back home to Finger Lakes Region in Upstate NY. Back to reality. Back to hearing world. Back to be only deaf person within 2 hours radius. That summer changed me again.
You guessed it, that will be blog #2 about my second year at RIT.
24.7.10
Who knows me best?
Recently, I spoke to my cousins and a statement from the conversation woke me up. My cousin believed that she knew me more than my boyfriend, just because she grew up with me for 21 years. In my case, she (or the other cousins) don't truly know me. I strongly feel that my boyfriend actually is the one who knows me the best (among with parents, brother, some people at RIT). Yes, it's only been 8 months, but I have shared so many intimate/deep feelings that I don't share with ANYONE ELSE. We are also in a relationship together meaning that communication is a large factor.
This cousin also moved approximately 15 hours away from NY. She may knew the kid that I was, but I'm not the same person obviously. Heck, I'm even not the same person I was a year ago. Still, that kid I was all the way to present, I realized that none of my cousins or old friends truly knew me. It never occurred that people I once was so close with in the past never knew my feelings, etc. This woke me up that I finally have that person who truly knows me best. This is one reason why I'm the happiest person now because so many of my feelings have finally came out after all of those years of being stuffed away inside of me.
Of course, I have told cousins, relatives, friends, etc. the basics of the challenges that I face but I still never share the most intimate details, like how I don't like being deaf. I had friends who wanted to be interpreters. I had cousin who did research on deaf for school. I had people to join sign language club/or anything similar. I had cousin/friends that took ASL classes. How do I feel about that? I don't even want to be deaf myself. They don't know my life at RIT. Everyone back home assume that I'm off in the deaf world enjoying being in the deaf community. It just woke me up that nobody in my life have truly knew me beside my parents and my brother.
Til I got my boyfriend. My boyfriend listens to me to express my deepest feelings that I have yet expressed to anyone (even these that I may knew for long time i.e. family relatives & friends). The feelings related to challenges of deafness, he knows the most personal details that I face or feel from being deaf. The statement from my cousin woke me up, and I realized even more how a wonderful relationship I am really in. I never had that with anyone (beside my parents + brother) to express those kind feelings and feel so comfortable for no judgments. One of things that I really hate in life from other people is their judging, I cannot tolerate that. Hence why I don't express feelings to people.
I began to express feelings to my boyfriend starting around February which was 3 months mark then, which amazes me. I have never met anyone to be that comfortable in that short period of time to express these "classified" feelings. I can honestly say that he knows me more than any of my friends and relatives because of that. I could not have asked for better communication in the relationship, it is really excellent. We share so many things that many other relationships even might not, and we also don't keep anything from each other.
He also faces the challenges with me in life. He didn't sign up for this, but he still faces it because he truly loves me. We have to face many limitations and detours in life because of my deafness. One example would be the open captions in movie theaters. My boyfriend always check the open captioned movies website, not the regular website. There has been movies that we were anxious to see once it got released, but with open captions we have to wait 2-3 weeks. Yes folks, you heard it right, EVEN in Rochester that consists one of the largest deaf community. The patience definitely showed from my boyfriend as well, which is required in a relationship with one person being deaf. I always will be facing challenges through out of my life with no stopping, and he understands that. He is taking it on with me, so I am not alone for the ride.
Speaking of open captions movies, I have to share a funny AND heartwarming story. At Costco (store), we looked at DVD players on display with the movie, Toy Story playing. I didn't even think twice how it didn't have the subtitles, and my boyfriend takes it upon to turn them on right away as we approached the display. It was funny since we were only looking at it for few minutes, but it was heartwarming because he thinks life WITH me, and includes me in everything possible. Which brings the message to all of those deaf people out there, if you are dating hearing person... make sure you have that kind relationship where you can express your most frustrating, intimate, deepest, even bottled up feelings related to the life of being deaf. Also, make sure you have someone to face the challenges WITH you and THINK life with you to include you in everything possible. That's your true love.
This cousin also moved approximately 15 hours away from NY. She may knew the kid that I was, but I'm not the same person obviously. Heck, I'm even not the same person I was a year ago. Still, that kid I was all the way to present, I realized that none of my cousins or old friends truly knew me. It never occurred that people I once was so close with in the past never knew my feelings, etc. This woke me up that I finally have that person who truly knows me best. This is one reason why I'm the happiest person now because so many of my feelings have finally came out after all of those years of being stuffed away inside of me.
Of course, I have told cousins, relatives, friends, etc. the basics of the challenges that I face but I still never share the most intimate details, like how I don't like being deaf. I had friends who wanted to be interpreters. I had cousin who did research on deaf for school. I had people to join sign language club/or anything similar. I had cousin/friends that took ASL classes. How do I feel about that? I don't even want to be deaf myself. They don't know my life at RIT. Everyone back home assume that I'm off in the deaf world enjoying being in the deaf community. It just woke me up that nobody in my life have truly knew me beside my parents and my brother.
Til I got my boyfriend. My boyfriend listens to me to express my deepest feelings that I have yet expressed to anyone (even these that I may knew for long time i.e. family relatives & friends). The feelings related to challenges of deafness, he knows the most personal details that I face or feel from being deaf. The statement from my cousin woke me up, and I realized even more how a wonderful relationship I am really in. I never had that with anyone (beside my parents + brother) to express those kind feelings and feel so comfortable for no judgments. One of things that I really hate in life from other people is their judging, I cannot tolerate that. Hence why I don't express feelings to people.
I began to express feelings to my boyfriend starting around February which was 3 months mark then, which amazes me. I have never met anyone to be that comfortable in that short period of time to express these "classified" feelings. I can honestly say that he knows me more than any of my friends and relatives because of that. I could not have asked for better communication in the relationship, it is really excellent. We share so many things that many other relationships even might not, and we also don't keep anything from each other.
He also faces the challenges with me in life. He didn't sign up for this, but he still faces it because he truly loves me. We have to face many limitations and detours in life because of my deafness. One example would be the open captions in movie theaters. My boyfriend always check the open captioned movies website, not the regular website. There has been movies that we were anxious to see once it got released, but with open captions we have to wait 2-3 weeks. Yes folks, you heard it right, EVEN in Rochester that consists one of the largest deaf community. The patience definitely showed from my boyfriend as well, which is required in a relationship with one person being deaf. I always will be facing challenges through out of my life with no stopping, and he understands that. He is taking it on with me, so I am not alone for the ride.
Speaking of open captions movies, I have to share a funny AND heartwarming story. At Costco (store), we looked at DVD players on display with the movie, Toy Story playing. I didn't even think twice how it didn't have the subtitles, and my boyfriend takes it upon to turn them on right away as we approached the display. It was funny since we were only looking at it for few minutes, but it was heartwarming because he thinks life WITH me, and includes me in everything possible. Which brings the message to all of those deaf people out there, if you are dating hearing person... make sure you have that kind relationship where you can express your most frustrating, intimate, deepest, even bottled up feelings related to the life of being deaf. Also, make sure you have someone to face the challenges WITH you and THINK life with you to include you in everything possible. That's your true love.
23.7.10
Deaf Community
I grew up in the Finger Lakes Region in Upstate NY, where a deaf community was nonexistence.
As I mentioned, I went to mainstreamed school up until college. Through out mainstreamed school years, I had a team consisting interpreters, teacher-of-the-Deaf, note takers, etc.
In my first elementary school that I attended, there had been a small deaf program which on average consisted of 12 students. I would go to the 'deaf classroom' in the mornings to practice speech therapy and correct grammar (writing). Speech and grammar are deaf people's weakness. In the afternoon, I would go to regular classroom with my regular peers. In 5th grade, I moved to another elementary school that didn't have a program like at my first school. This 2nd school was half a mile away from my home, and I had decided to move there to find more friends in the home neighborhood. It was a challenging time making friends but I found great ones. In elementary schools, kids are more motivated to learn sign language. Also the new school had more friendly kids and staff. That school was very excellent, and I always hold fond memories of my time there. It helped me to form in the strong person that I am to this day because of the challenges I faced, and having a support system at the school (as well the family).
I went on to middle school and high school, of course gaining several different friends over the years. Those years were more difficult. I had went to the deaf institutes in Rochester, NY and White Plains, NY during middle school years to consider transferring there among deaf peers. I recall visiting classrooms with several of deaf students and participated like I was already a student there. This occurred in 2001, at that time, what I noticed at both schools that their education level had been off track from where I was in my mainstreamed school. For example, I went there in 7th grade, and things they were being educated about were things I already learned in 5th grade. Determined to stay in mainstreamed school instead of being with my own kind of peers was a tough decision. Another downside to attending deaf institutes would be going away from my home/family which I have a close bond with. The deaf institute is like a boarding school, how it would work is that I would leave Monday AM (2-3 hours away for both schools) and reside in the dorms during the week. Home on Friday PM. That would take away a lot of time from the family and I would definitely have missed out on a lot things that were occurring in my home area with family, friends, etc.
The last two years in high school was horrible. I rushed those years without entirely enjoying the time to graduation. I probably was the only happy person at graduation to leave high school. I lost motivation in last 2 years with putting in the effort with the hearing peers. A lot discourage led me to give up and I was not socializing anymore. All I was thinking about is to get out of that place. I was looking forward to attending a college with mixed deaf/hearing community. I loved that about RIT that it had both worlds - with one world (hearing) that I am already familiar of. I went to camp at RIT in the summer before my senior year in high school, which got myself first batch of deaf friends that I stayed in contact with via computer.
And... finally arrived to college on August 19, 2007. That will be another whole blog to write.
As I mentioned, I went to mainstreamed school up until college. Through out mainstreamed school years, I had a team consisting interpreters, teacher-of-the-Deaf, note takers, etc.
In my first elementary school that I attended, there had been a small deaf program which on average consisted of 12 students. I would go to the 'deaf classroom' in the mornings to practice speech therapy and correct grammar (writing). Speech and grammar are deaf people's weakness. In the afternoon, I would go to regular classroom with my regular peers. In 5th grade, I moved to another elementary school that didn't have a program like at my first school. This 2nd school was half a mile away from my home, and I had decided to move there to find more friends in the home neighborhood. It was a challenging time making friends but I found great ones. In elementary schools, kids are more motivated to learn sign language. Also the new school had more friendly kids and staff. That school was very excellent, and I always hold fond memories of my time there. It helped me to form in the strong person that I am to this day because of the challenges I faced, and having a support system at the school (as well the family).
I went on to middle school and high school, of course gaining several different friends over the years. Those years were more difficult. I had went to the deaf institutes in Rochester, NY and White Plains, NY during middle school years to consider transferring there among deaf peers. I recall visiting classrooms with several of deaf students and participated like I was already a student there. This occurred in 2001, at that time, what I noticed at both schools that their education level had been off track from where I was in my mainstreamed school. For example, I went there in 7th grade, and things they were being educated about were things I already learned in 5th grade. Determined to stay in mainstreamed school instead of being with my own kind of peers was a tough decision. Another downside to attending deaf institutes would be going away from my home/family which I have a close bond with. The deaf institute is like a boarding school, how it would work is that I would leave Monday AM (2-3 hours away for both schools) and reside in the dorms during the week. Home on Friday PM. That would take away a lot of time from the family and I would definitely have missed out on a lot things that were occurring in my home area with family, friends, etc.
The last two years in high school was horrible. I rushed those years without entirely enjoying the time to graduation. I probably was the only happy person at graduation to leave high school. I lost motivation in last 2 years with putting in the effort with the hearing peers. A lot discourage led me to give up and I was not socializing anymore. All I was thinking about is to get out of that place. I was looking forward to attending a college with mixed deaf/hearing community. I loved that about RIT that it had both worlds - with one world (hearing) that I am already familiar of. I went to camp at RIT in the summer before my senior year in high school, which got myself first batch of deaf friends that I stayed in contact with via computer.
And... finally arrived to college on August 19, 2007. That will be another whole blog to write.
21.7.10
Fam[ily]
Family. I come from wonderful family which consists of my parents, a brother, and of course there always had been a dog. My current dog is a mixed King Charles Cavalier/Poodle. The most adorable pup I can tell you that.
In my family also includes the extended relatives which are both sets of my grandparents among with many aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends of family.
As I mentioned, I am the only deaf person in the entire family clan on both sides (mom's and dad's). I grew up facing a lot challenges with communication field. According to my parents, in my younger years the relatives on my dad's side used to gather together to learn sign language. I have to say that my dad's side family is the most difficult to communicate with, because no relatives knows (or remembers) sign language. It never had bothered me when I was younger because younger kids just worry about playing games, having fun. It started to bother me as I went in my teenager years, I started dreading going to the holiday events. I depended on my parents and/or brother to talk with me or keep me entertained. The past 3 years had been really difficult enough that it upsets me to be there for a long period of time. Last Christmas, I was pondering why I wasn't good enough to be considered a part of the family if nobody was willing to put in the effort to communicate with me. Although, I am partly to blame as well since I don't put as much effort in having a conversation as well. My lack of motivation is solely on the fact that they don't know how to use sign language and that can be frustrating for me to brainstorm a communication method. I cannot read their minds, but I don't feel that my relatives brainstorms a way to communicate with me every holiday gathering like I do. I can lip read some of my relatives, but I'm never 100% excellent at it regardless of who I speak with.
It crushes my heart to this day how I don't have a close relationship (except one) with some relatives in my dad's side family, including my cousins. The only close relationship I hold is with my uncle who is also my godfather. In my high school years, I went to visit him every summer (he used to live 3 hours away), and developed a bond which concluded in talking often via computer. I do wish that I have a better close relationships with more of my aunts/uncles, especially my cousins because they all are VERY FUN people to be around, and I would love more time with them. I still LOVE my dad's side family very much regardless of the communication barrier because they are very unique & loving family. I know I can always count on them to be there for me, and they always make me feel loved. They do truly care about me.
My mom's side family, it was little easier with the communication. It was a small family (which only consists of 10 people) while my dad's family is large (~40 people). Some cousins learned sign language from childhood, and used it sometime through out my life. The problem is that when all of the cousins would hang out together, no body would "interpret" for me. That was the downside of them knowing sign language, they still didn't include me by not "interpreting". That problem made me feel like I was a pain in the ass to be present, and too difficult on them to simple translate for me. The other cousins did knew sign language, but never used it which I don't understand why not.
My parents + brother have been nothing but amazing to me. I could not ask for a better family. They have been there through it all with me through the up and downs of my life. I was never alone in my difficult challenges that I had to face in my life because I had family. Family is my STRONG backbone in my life. I will forever be grateful for them and their unconditional love that they always have for me.
In my family also includes the extended relatives which are both sets of my grandparents among with many aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends of family.
As I mentioned, I am the only deaf person in the entire family clan on both sides (mom's and dad's). I grew up facing a lot challenges with communication field. According to my parents, in my younger years the relatives on my dad's side used to gather together to learn sign language. I have to say that my dad's side family is the most difficult to communicate with, because no relatives knows (or remembers) sign language. It never had bothered me when I was younger because younger kids just worry about playing games, having fun. It started to bother me as I went in my teenager years, I started dreading going to the holiday events. I depended on my parents and/or brother to talk with me or keep me entertained. The past 3 years had been really difficult enough that it upsets me to be there for a long period of time. Last Christmas, I was pondering why I wasn't good enough to be considered a part of the family if nobody was willing to put in the effort to communicate with me. Although, I am partly to blame as well since I don't put as much effort in having a conversation as well. My lack of motivation is solely on the fact that they don't know how to use sign language and that can be frustrating for me to brainstorm a communication method. I cannot read their minds, but I don't feel that my relatives brainstorms a way to communicate with me every holiday gathering like I do. I can lip read some of my relatives, but I'm never 100% excellent at it regardless of who I speak with.
It crushes my heart to this day how I don't have a close relationship (except one) with some relatives in my dad's side family, including my cousins. The only close relationship I hold is with my uncle who is also my godfather. In my high school years, I went to visit him every summer (he used to live 3 hours away), and developed a bond which concluded in talking often via computer. I do wish that I have a better close relationships with more of my aunts/uncles, especially my cousins because they all are VERY FUN people to be around, and I would love more time with them. I still LOVE my dad's side family very much regardless of the communication barrier because they are very unique & loving family. I know I can always count on them to be there for me, and they always make me feel loved. They do truly care about me.
My mom's side family, it was little easier with the communication. It was a small family (which only consists of 10 people) while my dad's family is large (~40 people). Some cousins learned sign language from childhood, and used it sometime through out my life. The problem is that when all of the cousins would hang out together, no body would "interpret" for me. That was the downside of them knowing sign language, they still didn't include me by not "interpreting". That problem made me feel like I was a pain in the ass to be present, and too difficult on them to simple translate for me. The other cousins did knew sign language, but never used it which I don't understand why not.
My parents + brother have been nothing but amazing to me. I could not ask for a better family. They have been there through it all with me through the up and downs of my life. I was never alone in my difficult challenges that I had to face in my life because I had family. Family is my STRONG backbone in my life. I will forever be grateful for them and their unconditional love that they always have for me.
20.7.10
Ahava
Love. I met my first love this past November. I was 20 and he was 23. We met at our college in one of the class we had been in together. Actually, we didn't talk in the class, as how ironic that may sound.
How did it happened then? First encounter was at the college hockey game, I walked in and I was texting my friend to see her whereabouts. While I was heads down in my text, I felt a slap on my arm which forced me to look up to see him walking by waving.
Next day, there was a Facebook friend request from him, which I accepted. Ironically later that night, I was bored and decided to go out for a drive on the campus (I lived off campus then). Passing by a store on campus, where I saw him walking in front of the entrance as I drove by. In responding to an impulse, I honked my car horn at him.
20 minutes later, I was back in my bedroom sitting at my laptop. Found a Facebook message from him which stated, "Hey, was that you that honked at me tonight? Haha :p", which concluded the evening talking on Facebook IM where he had asked for our first date the very next day at a coffee shop on campus after our class.
Fast forward to today, today is the 8 months mark. I can not believe how much we have came within our relationship to this day. First of all, he is hearing, as if I didn't mention that already. He had NO knowledge of communication method(s) with deaf people (i.e. sign language). The first month of our relationship had consisted of having every single conversation typed out on the blank text screen on our cellphones. By January (2 months later), he had memorized more than the average person would learn sign language in that time span.
He is the most amazing person I've ever had met, and my very first true love. I have never been a happy person because of the challenges I faced through out my life with the deafness, but he makes me feel like I'm a whole person and doesn't only focus on my deafness. He makes me feel like the queen of the world. It's an amazing feeling that every human being should feel. Love.
How did it happened then? First encounter was at the college hockey game, I walked in and I was texting my friend to see her whereabouts. While I was heads down in my text, I felt a slap on my arm which forced me to look up to see him walking by waving.
Next day, there was a Facebook friend request from him, which I accepted. Ironically later that night, I was bored and decided to go out for a drive on the campus (I lived off campus then). Passing by a store on campus, where I saw him walking in front of the entrance as I drove by. In responding to an impulse, I honked my car horn at him.
20 minutes later, I was back in my bedroom sitting at my laptop. Found a Facebook message from him which stated, "Hey, was that you that honked at me tonight? Haha :p", which concluded the evening talking on Facebook IM where he had asked for our first date the very next day at a coffee shop on campus after our class.
Fast forward to today, today is the 8 months mark. I can not believe how much we have came within our relationship to this day. First of all, he is hearing, as if I didn't mention that already. He had NO knowledge of communication method(s) with deaf people (i.e. sign language). The first month of our relationship had consisted of having every single conversation typed out on the blank text screen on our cellphones. By January (2 months later), he had memorized more than the average person would learn sign language in that time span.
He is the most amazing person I've ever had met, and my very first true love. I have never been a happy person because of the challenges I faced through out my life with the deafness, but he makes me feel like I'm a whole person and doesn't only focus on my deafness. He makes me feel like the queen of the world. It's an amazing feeling that every human being should feel. Love.
17.7.10
Introduction
Welcome to my blog where I will be expressing most feelings related to deafness. Why would those specific feelings be so important to express? These feelings consist of the frustration and struggles of being a deaf individual in this world. I can tell you that I am unique compared to most of the deaf people you'll meet.
A bit of history about me. I am 21 years old and I was born deaf, due to who knows what. I just inherited deafness. No history of deafness in the family. I am the only deaf member in my entire family and extended family. I grew up attending mainstreamed school until I went to college. I am currently attending Rochester Institute of Technology, which has the deaf college; National Institute for the Deaf among with other 7 colleges.
A bit of history about me. I am 21 years old and I was born deaf, due to who knows what. I just inherited deafness. No history of deafness in the family. I am the only deaf member in my entire family and extended family. I grew up attending mainstreamed school until I went to college. I am currently attending Rochester Institute of Technology, which has the deaf college; National Institute for the Deaf among with other 7 colleges.
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