How to interact with deaf people?

Today I went to the post office to mail something out. I went up to the clerk to purchase stamp only to be faced with awkwardness with interacting with me. I spoke to her, "I want to buy stamp" while pointing to the stamp area on the envelope. The clerk brought out stamps and all of that, only to ask me a question. I asked her to repeat - in which she started noticing my accent. She looked at me like puzzled and I said, "Can you write, I'm deaf" while gesturing writing-on-paper motion. She just stared at me more. I started to get boiling mad because of that look which makes me feel inferior and a foreigner in my own country. I said again, "I'm deaf". She shrugged her shoulders, which implied that she didn't know how to interact with me. I motioned again to write on a paper. She didn't barge. I looked around for something on the counter in which I just found a paper with space that I could write onto. I wrote, "I'm deaf. What was your question" and gave it to her. She looked amazed at what I just did. She wrote back in response, "Do you want to buy insurance" in which I replied by shaking my head 'no'. The rest of that incident was just purchasing the stamp and walk out of there.

Wow, really. Wasted like 10 minutes for that crap. I'm sick of that happening all of the time when I make it clear what to do every time that awkwardness occurs. It's common sense what I was asking her to do.

It's amazing how some people out there DO NOT know how interacts with deaf people. I understand that some people may never met deaf people in their lives but still, it's common sense to NOT treat them like aliens. I wish EVERYONE would put themselves in that person's shoes and imagine how they'd want to be treated.

Even not just the deafness, every time I have came across all types of people - if there is barrier with something - I always put myself in their shoes and imagine the best possible solution. I know that I'm one of those people that I may be more understanding to interacting with anyone.

I have came across people who don't know how to interact with me at all that I would eventually show them how to interact with me. Usually the typical first movie is the paper-and-pen or a computer screen to type back and forth on Word. After that, I expect them to know how to interact because I showed it to them. There's no excuse.

When it comes to interacting with a certain type of people, I hold high expectations for people who has sign language or deafness-related knowledge within their family. Let me explain what I mean. My mom is a teacher in autistic classroom, in which I have learned a little about autistic kids as I grew up. I may not know 100% how to interact with autistic kids but I take some of the knowledge I gained from my mother & have no fear in trying something with them. I have opened up to autistic kids over the years as I grew up to be more comfortable with them. Few years ago, I ended up getting an autistic cousin now, and I just absolutely adore him. I love trying to interact with him at family events, and I always find a way to some how play with him even if it's unsuccessful - at least I TRIED.

So what I mean, I have high expectations for people who have some knowledge of the deaf culture, have parents employed where there is deafness involved, know some sign language, etc. I hold HIGH expectations for them, period. I expect my brother to sign when he comes across deaf people at his work, in which I was told he does. I have emphasized to my brother many times that it will make their days anyways if they know there's someone who can help them in the store that knows sign language instead of finding another worker to treat them like aliens.

I don't see how it is difficult to interact with deaf people. I know that I can't judge that with being deaf myself. But honestly, I have to learn how to INTERACT with hearing people. How would that be different? I have to find resources and methods to communicate EVERY day. It irritates me when I come across hearing people that only have to interact with me for few minutes, few hours, etc. to not want to try interacting with me. I have to interact with you, hearing people EVERY DAY.

Because of this difficulties from hearing people, once in while I would give up and not bother to talk to hearing people. Why would I do all of the work? It only just makes me stressed and frustrated. Sometime when I know that I may face that kind situation, I do think about whether I'm in the mood for that. Sad, huh? I bet that hearing people don't have to think whether they're in the mood to be frustrated, stressed, feel lower than dirt, etc.

The way I see it, it's a two-way street. Both deaf people and hearing people put in the effort EQUALLY and there will be a successful interacting.

Reversed

Long time no blogging. I apologize as I got busy with the winter quarter starting up after a wonderful Thanksgiving break in CT. I was very down in the first week from missing my boyfriend. I also got elected as the President for my sorority for this year's term (Nov 2010-Nov 2011). It's a huge honor but a huge task to take on!

Last weekend, my sorority hosted the annual holiday dinner at a sister's house. I asked my brother to come up to Rochester to be my date to the dinner since my boyfriend couldn't take the time off from work & I was already planning to see him a week later for winter break. My brother came up to Rochester. We got to the house, and approximately 80 people had been there. Last time he was around that much deaf people was... NEVER. He has experienced being in a group up to six deaf people at once, that was it. So, it was another world for him.

Later that night, when my brother and I went back home to my place. He blew up at me out of anger that I had "ignored" and "ditched" him. I had started to laugh. Why? He was expressing the exact same feelings that I experience when I'm in HIS world. I don't think he still realizes how it was reversed for both of us with me being in my world. He used the excuse that I still had him and my mom. Well, what about me? He had me there. What's the difference?

I understand his frustration, but does he? I experienced this frustration EVERY single day for 18 years in Elmira at home, at school, anywhere. He only experienced this for 4 hours... LUCKY HIM. It was definitely weird to be in reversed position with him frustrated at me for not including him in conversations, leaving him, ignoring him, etc.

How can I ever make hearing people understand what us, deaf people feel like in their world? I don't think there any other way than having them come into our deaf world ALONE among many of us, but will it REALLY effect them and make them think about it?

OMG! There's deaf people out there?

Hope all of you had a good Thanksgiving. I had a very good break going to CT to see the boyfriend. I celebrated my first holiday away from the family. It was difficult but it turned out to be a really nice time. We also celebrated our first year of our relationship - the best year ever in my lifetime.

I'm glad that I got the chance to go to CT to see the area that my boyfriend just moved to (he got a new job there). The town was so much similar to Rochester, it really weirded me out. Only difference was obviously the deaf community. I cannot tell you how many laughs I had in CT. Some people sure got their slap-in-their-face moments.

The very first full day I was in CT, I was bored with the boyfriend working 7am-4pm so I decided to explore the area. The apartment was right off this long road full of many stores. I stopped at Walgreen's to purchase last minute card for Adam for our 1 year (November 20th!). I brought it up to the cash register, and had looked down in my wallet to get the cash out only to look up to the dude looking irritated. I just looked and did a little smile (with no teeth showing, that kind smile). He, then said "Hello, are you deaf?!". Finally that moment came for me when someone said that! Usually I would have blew off at him but I just glanced at him for a moment before I said "Yeah". He responded again, "Seriously?" with a dead serious look, in which I replied AGAIN, "Yeah". He looked at me for literally a full minute before he proceed to run the register with my purchases. Yeah dude, there are deaf people out there (GASP). I walked out of the store laughing. I wonder if that dude would ever use that statement in the future.

In CT, there were people staring every day every where. That's the usual. But this slap-in-your-face incident occurred at Wal Mart had me rolling the floor laughing. Adam and I had stood in middle of aisle discussing our dinner plans. A man apparently was staring at us while he was walking past us only to walk into another lady's cart. Boo-yah, karma for staring. Thanks for the laugh, sir.

It was a long time since I left Rochester into worlds with less awareness of the deafness. It was amazing how I didn't let most of things bother me as the usual. I only recall getting irritated with people staring which I would just drop the conversation and take my boyfriend to a new location with more privacy. I'm beginning to think that I've got laid back with my deafness and maybe having more confident with who I am. That's something for me to analyze now.

That's it for tonight, folks. Maybe more funny moments coming for all of those future trips back to CT.

Deaf Dalmatians

I love, love, love dogs so much. I am a huge dogs person and I will always have one all of my life! Many people don't realize that many dalmatians are born deaf! That is one of my goal to own a deaf dalmatian at some point in my life. I love these dalmatians, they are so beautiful! Yesterday, out of boredom I was looking around for deaf dalmatians via Internet (I did found one that I fell in love with! Her name is Diamond, she is only a baby pup! Check out the picture of Diamond at this link: http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/17806122... adorable isn't she?!).

Meanwhile, I ran in some other websites which I was just SHOCKED. I found this website (http://www.thedca.org/deaf1.html) to be VERY insulting and absolutely disrespectful and DISGUSTING. I couldn't BELIEVE what I read which included:

"Deaf pups should be dealt with in a responsible and HUMANE fashion"
Lovely copyrights of Dalmatian Club of America, 2007.
(Please, what's HUMANE about it!)

"NEVER sell, place, give away deaf pups"
Lovely copyrights of Dalmatian Club of America, 2007.
(Ok, how's that different from to not GIVE deaf babies to people?!)

"Deaf pups should be humane destroyed by vet"
Lovely copyrights of Dalmatian Club of America, 2007.
(Even can't make a comment about it, that's how disgusting it is)

"Deaf dalmatians are hard to raise & control (Most are hit by car when run away), become snappy when startled"
Lovely copyrights of Dalmatian Club of America, 2007.
(Ummmm, so does that mean we gotta put down little kids who are hard to raise and control and run away?) (Also for the "startled" part, if the dog gets snappy obviously the owner do NOT have the RIGHT awareness of how to raise a deaf dog which should be given to someone who does)

"If you are the owner of a deaf dalmatian, and having problems with the pup, do not feel guilty about it. consider starting over with healthy hearing pup and do have deaf pup put down"
Lovely copyrights of Dalmatian Club of America, 2007.
(If you are the owner of a hearing dalmatian, and having the problems with the pup, do not feel gulity about it. consider starting over with a healthy deaf pup and do have the hearing pup put down)

For that website, Dalmatian Club of America, I applaud you. Not. Go rot in hell.

There are people out there with REAL heart that will take in any deaf puppies - yes, it will be a challenge but does that mean we have to put down all the children who are born with difficulties in this world? People aren't perfect, so aren't dogs. I don't see why we have to treat differently with dogs. I have came across many dogs with other health problems with liver, skin, diseases, etc. just like people, yet there's no website targeting at these kind dogs recommended to be put down. As a deaf person myself, I would have the awareness of how to raise a deaf puppy/dog PROPERLY and in the most HUMANE way (which is giving it a LIFE). These people of DCA aren't humans at all that don't know their shit.

On a happier note, Here's a proof that Deaf pups are worthy to keep:
http://dogsinthenews.com/issues/0203/articles/020322a.htm.

L0VE TO DEAF DALMATIANS! <3

Dr. Raymond Bryant

As most of you know, I hail from upstate NY where I attended mainstreamed schools. I have to share with you about one individual in the school district that I came across.

The name is Dr. Raymond Bryant. He was the superintendent in the school district. Little history about him; He received Doctor of Philosophy, Educational Administration from the University of Maryland. Before being ECSD superintendent, he was:
-Associate superintendent for Special Education Reform, Washington, DC
-Associate superintendent, director of special education services, principal, coordinator of special education, teacher and speech pathologist
-Taught at universities including Gallaudet, James Madison, and George Mason.

Gallaudet?! You heard it right. I was excited when he came, because I heard that fact and his background with special education. I am NOT special education but I thought he would have better understanding of the needs, boy was I wrong. I had too much of high exceptions for Dr. Bryant. He was the BIGGEST disappointment to the area.

High number of citizens wanted him out, and he recently resigned in 2009 so I'm sure there was a huge party celebrating that. Rumors are that he resigned for stealing money from the District and shredding documents. Who knows?

First action that he did that disappointed me greatly was cutting ASL classes from our school district. We had ASL classes at my high school. My brother was going to take that class as well some relatives. My cousin already begun ASL I and was about to go onto ASL II & ASL III when the program got cut. Dr. Bryant felt like it wasn't worth it to keep the program. There were even rebelling from community to keep ASL programs in the schools. I remember that incident so well because it caused a uproar. I wrote a letter to the local newspaper with help of my father to express my feelings about the cutting of ASL programs. The school had French, Spanish, and German. Come on, seriously how many French-speaking and German-speaking people you come across? ASL is one of top 5 most common language used in America among with Spanish. It would make more sense to cut German and replace it with ASL in relation of statistics with which languages are most common used.

I graduate from my high school in June 2007. At my high school graduation ceremony, everyone had to go up on the stage to receive their diplomas and shake hands with four people. The four people were Principal Chris Krantz, Assistant Principals Tim Hassen & Margaret Thurber, and of course, Dr. Bryant.

I was so mad at myself for not standing up to Dr. Bryant at the graduation ceremony, because he had been asking every graduates what their future goals were. I shook hands with Krantz and went over to Dr. Bryant. Krantz followed me to Dr. Bryant and reminded him that I was deaf. I already was aware that Bryant was asking all graduates that question. I should have signed to him "RIT" to emphasize how important it is to keep ASL in the schools. Heck, Bryant should know some sign language anyways if he had previously "worked" at Gallaudet. Krantz also should have not reminded Bryant that I was deaf anyways because Bryant already knew who I was because my hometown is a small town and I have had encounters with him where we had to communicate. When I shook hands with him, it was clear that he didn't recall who I was. It was very disappointing that someone I held expectations for to end up to be a huge disappointment to the area.

Interpreters

I have faced many interpreters in my college lifetime now. Prior to RIT, I only probably had at least 10 interpreters. Now I had numerous. Challenges from interpreters have opened up my eyes and I realize that many people don't realize what us deaf folks go thru with interpreters.

At RIT, most classes would have a team of 2 interpreters who takes turn to interpret every other 15 or 20 minutes. First, its challenging to get used to the interpreters when we settle in our new routines. Everyone assumes that interpreters are all same and that every single deaf person understands every interpreters.

Wrong! There has been bad batch of interpreters I faced. What makes them bad? They miss out too much words which makes me miss out information in the classroom. Or their signing styles. Unprofessional. The list goes on.

I had interpreters that would text or chat with the other interpreter which I really hated. That was distracting when I had interpreters that would chat to each other during class as well making me miss out information.

Distractions from interpreters also are included. What kind distractions there possibly be?

1) I have had many male interpreters lately, and it is a huge distraction when they wear tight pants. C'mon. You can paint that picture.

2) Same as above related to female interpreters. Tight shirts, low cut shirts, tight pants/skirt, too short skirts, etc.

3) I once had a tiny petite female interpreter with HUGE breasts. She never wore low cut or fitting shirts but it still was distracting.

4) Interpreters with really bad eye sights that their glasses have double lens. It is distracting when we, deaf folks have to look at the eye while reading their signs.

5) I once had interpreter that looked more like a con man. He had that light blue shirt with pants which made it look like prison uniform. His hairdo matched the look of a con man as well.

6) Attitude. I had diva interpreters, I had tough interpreters, I had feminine interpreters, etc.

7) Many male interpreters are likely to be gay (NOT ALL) and I have come across some feminine type of gay interpreters who would sign in a feminine way. It is very distracting because it doesn't match with them being dudes.

8) Tattoos. I had interpreter with covered arms. Who the heck hired her? Piercings as well, I experienced one interpreter with multiple piercings on her ears - she had this bed spring style earring that went in all holes. Stretched ears are also distracting.

9) I had an interpreter who freely shared with me that she had a lot domestic violence situations at her home which resulted in her having a lot scars and bruises. No bother to cover them up with make up or something.

10) Hair coloring/hair do/etc. My interpreter showed up to class with pink streaks in her hair. She also was wearing it in pigtails style. It looked like she came from a performance where she had to dress up her hair like that straight to a Prosecution class.

People don't realize what we go through with interpreters. It may seem simple to read their signing and get on with life. That's just one huge challenging part of being deaf.

Sgt. Anthony Wallace

Hello folks, I know I have been gone from this blog for a while. I apologize for that. I have obviously got busy with my studies. My senior year is really overwhelming. I came back to the school year with strong goals to go to law school, only to realize I had short time of preparation for that. I decided to hold it off because I lost the motivation since I felt like I was being rushed. I also wasn't 100% sure if the courts system is really the area I want to pursue, as I have many other areas of criminal justice that I am passionate about. Exciting news, RIT had a club called Criminal Justice Student Association which kinda shut down over past few years due to lack of interest - CJSA just came back this year. I am the Vice President of Programming. I am thrilled about that position, as it will bring me wonderful experiences.

Speaking of criminal justice, The RIT community lost an amazing person by the name of Anthony Wallace back in August due to being shot while on duty as a police officer. He was a police officer in Hoonah, Alaska. He is hard of hearing. He graduated from RIT, and then worked as a Public Safety Officer at RIT til 2007, when he went to Alaska. I came to RIT with no belief that I would be able to pursue my dreams due to the limitations with my deafness. It wasn't until my interpreter in my law enforcement class (Corruption in Law Enforcement) told me about Anthony Wallace. That was the day a lot things changed for me.

Anthony Wallace. That name is a tattoo in my head. I couldn't believe there was actually a hard of hearing police officer. I was floored by that fact and I was amazed by his accomplishments. That name forever changed my mind frame and my future life goals by giving me so much more motivation.

I could not tell you how DEVASTATING it was to open up my RIT e-mail to find a message about Tony's passing in the past August. I cried all night. I was visiting my boyfriend in Connecticut so he comforted me for the longest time. I kept thinking how it could happen to Tony. Yesterday, RIT held a memorial service for Tony which I attended. It was beautiful service, and it definitely showed who Tony was. The kind guy that everyone loved. He really lived his life to the fullest, and went after his dreams regardless of the challenges he faced. He is a huge inspiration in my life that I will never forget. He will be my constant reminder to pursue my dreams to do what I really love.

Rest in peace, Sgt. Tony Wallace - forever my inspiration, forever alive in my heart.